Anonimous Posted July 19, 2023 Share Posted July 19, 2023 Our relationship started suddenly and too fast , we saw each other before when he had a girlfriend, i was divorced long time and my husbans was living with her girlfriend. I don’t had a boyfriend when we start talking but my ex husband was comming to my house where i had two kids from him, he was helping me financially that time , he was paying rent and not only but we was not together. Once i see me and my boyfriend started relationship i told me husband that he should understand me that now i have boyfriend and he can’t be comming to home everytime as he was doing , he got angry and leave us withouth paying rent and everything, he wasn’t even communicating with kids and me anymore. when people see me and my bf already in serious relationship my husband and my bf’s ex bf started disturbing us with everything they could, my husband was calling my bf and telling him bad things about me , his gf also was doing same , her friends too , people was telling me bad about my bf too but we never leave each other . At last they leave us alone, first month of our relationship her ex texted him and tell him that her mother die , he say he is not gonna come cause everyone was like forcing him to go , her friends and other people , i also told him that it’s disrespectful to me for you to go where is your ex , even at funeral , he say am right and he wont go. Next day he go there 😂 next month of our relationship my bf had birthday, he told me he dont want to make anything but in few days we can go to club. i go to his house at 12 o’clock , say happy birthday to him , we spend night, day time he told me that he wants to go see his friend, i left his house and he go there,after i was seeing stories on his instagram that tthey make party for him , he dont even call me ( he said he thought i dont had a time cause i have kids) i told him before that most of the time i have time at night or before 5pm . After sometimes i see photo of my boyfriend and her other ex on that birthday downstairs, he never told me that she was there with her. He told me she just came and give gift wich his friends buy for him but she just help them to bring it 😂 I dont know what’s happened there and i don’t believe that girl just came there but okay i let him lie to me. After sometimes i saw that girl panties in his house,i also saw gifts from that girl,photos and all those things,he say everything is old , he dont wanted to touch someone’s panties and that’s why he didn’t throw it away. this girl was calling him everytime,disturbing us,comming to house even when i was there with kids. I was always trying to not violate to her only because my bf told me to not do it. many times i didnot listen to him too , he was asking me to block to my ex cause he leave us and he was not asking about kids, i blocked him,then I unblocked him cause i needed to take my things wich was with him,when i took things i blocked him again . Then again was something about alimony and I forgot to block him and he found out, he was blaming me that i want my husband back when there wasn’t even text of “how are you” from anyone of us , if we was chatting we was only fighting and abusing each other. My bf blocked her both ex , but on my birthday i saw the call from him to her, he told me that he ask her to not call. I don’t believe this too but i still stay with him. He was nice with kids , kids loved him so much and i was thinking we could have a family and for the small things we dont have to fight. Many times i dont listen to him, many times he told me something i don’t listen, many times i told him bad words but we were still together.everytime we fight he was counting my sex partners from my past, i never ever cheated on him since we started dating. He was telling me that its normal to have passwords of each others phone , he had mine but on my birthday i asked him to give me his phone but he didn’t, second time he dont give ma and 3th time he took phone from me so fast. Like he was hiding something. after the day my birthday me him,his friends and that boys girl friends was playing truth or dare, everyone see we were couple and nobody was disturbing us with sexual questions but there was one girl to who he asked some question , i got very angry, i dont know if it was showing on my face but i tried to calm down cause he was always teaching me to calm down and i was trying so hard , i calm down then that girl ask him the other stupid sexual questions about what i got more angry! He was somehow rude to me that day, I didn’t do anything bad. one time i was in his house with kids, he told me that he is going to his friend next building, i was waiting for him and he wasn’t answering my calls,i started worrying cause he never doing like this usually, i checked his phone location from his ipad and it was showing other adress wich is far. He dont show up that night till morning 4-5AM. He told me he smoke and he slept off.i was so angry but what i could do. After this day we planned to have a night date at home , he say he will go to his friend and come back soon, he go around 11 , i was waiting for him makeup on , dressed up, was expecting he will come by 1 maximum 2 o’clock. He came 4 and i went to sleep.after all this things we move on together,was planning to have family, we move on and start living toger , after sometimes i asked him for his phone , i found out he was talking to my ex friend the girl who i hate, she was saying that she want smoke and her account or something isn’t working, he say he will buy smoke for her, they was even playing games on imessage, he even told me that one time we fight and broke up she went putside of his house and they meet , that girl have boyfriend. I got so so angry, he started abusing me , fighting with me that i had sexual partners, called me public toilet,called me that am dog ( only because of my sex partners from past) !!!! I sleep , dont listen to him and stop fighting. The next day i wake up , wear clothes for my kids and decide to leave. I texted him that i leave when i was outside. My child always wanted to see his father, he was even thinking he is dead so i suddenly decided to let my kid see his father cause the person with who am living isn’t looks that he would take care of us forever. I take my kids to his shop, leave them there and come back to my parent’s house. After few hours he is sending me videos of my kids and my ex husband that he saw them together. I said yes i take them there , he started asking me why do i take them there , he leaves us and didn’t help,my husband come to our house cause my child ask him to come inside and I couldn’t do anything. the next day kids go to him again , spent time together , in evening i decided to go to his shop myself to take kids from there so he wont come inside my house again cause no one is welcome to him, he really do many bad things , i go there and spend like 1 hour there , i was charging my ohone , kids and their father was watching something, i dont have any interest to my ex husband. My boyfriend saw this too. the next day my kids asked father to take them from school and spent time again and i dont say anything. i realized that i made a mistake for me to take them to him cause after all this my husband was doing to us i still take kids to him myself, i realized after few days when my bf called me and crying that these kids and me was everything for him. I didn’t expect that he will feel hurt,cause one week earlier he even asked me myself when they will see their father cause they was mentioning him. I didn’t expect this will end out relationship! When I realized i did mistake i try to talk to him, he never forgive me. I go to his house with tears and begging 8 times total. Almost 50 days passed he didn’t forgive me. All this time i was going to him and begging he was saying he needs to heal but he was just having sex with me and giving me hope. after sometimes i make a pregnancy test and i see am pregnant, i tolf him and he say he is leaving the country and he dont need baby mama like me , he don’t want to have child from me anymore but he wanted before. He was also saying that it’s financial problems , making excuses or something. Now am hurting and feeling so bad, can’t believe wicked person like him i was with before but he is blaming only me for destroying relationship. I tried to talk to him after that but am blocked everywhere. I don’t even feel like talking to him agin cause am feeling he is like monster, i meet angel. People please tell me what to do and what the hell is going on , am I TOO wrong and unforgivable? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 19, 2023 Share Posted July 19, 2023 He seems abusive. Delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. Focus on yourself and taking care of your physical and mental health. Most of all focus on your children and providing a stable life for them. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Anonimous Posted July 19, 2023 Author Share Posted July 19, 2023 He said sorry about that words he called me but if he really loves me as he is saying and as its showing in his eyes why he couldn’t forgive me and give a chance, i told him that I would chance for the sake of relationship!!! Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted July 19, 2023 Share Posted July 19, 2023 (edited) Little bit of a language barrier here but I think I've got the general picture. You're not wrong and you're not unforgivable, your boyfriend is a liar, he is two-faced, and he's manipulative. Your children may think he's a good guy, because that's what he wants them to think, he's used them as a way of controlling you. You ex-husband sounds like an OK sort of guy, he tried to do the right thing by you and the children, and your children need their father in their lives, so maybe you should apologise to him for telling him not to come around and see them, and then hopefully you can restore the peace there. I don't know what advice to give regarding your pregnancy, I guess your attitude to termination would depend on your cultural background, your spiritual beliefs, and other factors, but your feeling that your boyfriend is a monster is correct, the "angel" who you met is just an act to draw in victims. Please think carefully before you decide to have a child with this monster, think about how having this person in your life will affect your children, (they have a right to safety and stability), think about how he's treated you, (like dirt), and stop believing him in the moments that he's pretending to be kind. He's vile, and you need to get away from him permanently. Your ex-husband may not be perfect but he clearly loves his children and kept a roof over your heads. Edited July 19, 2023 by MsJayne Grammar Error Link to post Share on other sites
Author Anonimous Posted July 19, 2023 Author Share Posted July 19, 2023 My 2 minutes ago, MsJayne said: My ex husband leave us without roof on head when he heard that i have a boyfriend. He was trying to destroy our relationship, he was also abusing me before, he didn’t ask about kids for 8 months, my boyfriend was taking care of them , I don’t love my ex husband , even more i hate him , he do too much bad things , he was good with us and helping us while he was living with another woman only because he wanted me back ,of course am not trying to defend my boyfriend but with kids he was really good . I cannot understand one thing that how he could give up on everything if he is saying he loves us . Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 19, 2023 Share Posted July 19, 2023 1 hour ago, Anonimous said: I tried to talk to him after that but am blocked everywhere. Take a break from all this. If he blocked you step back. Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted July 19, 2023 Share Posted July 19, 2023 6 minutes ago, Anonimous said: My OK, so you need to get rid of both men. It seems like maybe you have a pattern of being with abusive men and that's a whole issue on it's own. I would urge you to put your children first when you make a plan for how to move forward. Depending on what country you live in your ex husband should probably be paying child support but it's up to you to provide a stable home for the children where they don't have to witness adults fighting. It sounds like you're trying to defend your boyfriend's behaviour, but it's like this - if he loved you he wouldn't be lying so he can go off to birthday parties and chat up other women. Again depending on where you are, you may be eligible for free counselling and social support, and the counselling may help you to understand why you allow men to abuse you. Having a child with your boyfriend won't make him love or respect you, on the contrary, he sounds so immature that being a father would likely make him feel trapped and resentful of you, and that sounds like a recipe for disaster. Your children should be foremost in your mind when you think about the future. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Anonimous Posted July 19, 2023 Author Share Posted July 19, 2023 Thank you ! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 19, 2023 Share Posted July 19, 2023 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: He seems abusive. Delete and block him and all his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. Focus on yourself and taking care of your physical and mental health. Most of all focus on your children and providing a stable life for them. Both men are abusive and mean you no good. It is better to put men on hold and just concentrate on providing a safe and stable life for you and your children. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 20, 2023 Share Posted July 20, 2023 6 hours ago, Anonimous said: He said sorry about that words he called me but if he really loves me as he is saying and as its showing in his eyes why he couldn’t forgive me and give a chance, i told him that I would chance for the sake of relationship!!! I agree that the two men are not good guys, but I have to say that it sounds like you're not innocent in all of this either. It sounds like all of you have behaved destructively and everything has been ruined. I hope for the sake of your children that you do not contact your boyfriend and that you and your ex-h can have a civil co-parenting relationship. Please focus on raising them in a solid and calm environment Link to post Share on other sites
Jeffyy Posted July 20, 2023 Share Posted July 20, 2023 You could forgive him all those things , especially when he went outside for hours without calling you, meeting to your ex friend , woman stuff at home . do not believe it’s old,he was cheating on you . you believed in him cause you loved him and he couldn’t forgive you what you did? It’s seems like he just needed a reason to breakup. People who really love each other and want to be with you won’t breakup with you , even they feel hurt from something you did. Unfortunately he never loved you. So sorry 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Anonimous Posted July 20, 2023 Author Share Posted July 20, 2023 21 minutes ago, Jeffyy said: from Yes i loved him more than everything and i just closed my eyes on all this cause I don’t wanted break up. He told me that this panties was old, I don’t know what energy help me to believe that it was old, also i belived him that he was really sleeping somewhere when he didn’t answer call, he told me nothing is going on between my ex friend and him, “ he is just kind” and herp her to buy smoke but truly i was feeling soo bad about this. Link to post Share on other sites
Jeffyy Posted July 20, 2023 Share Posted July 20, 2023 No matter how many sexual partners you had in past he should not have been say those words. no matter how he felt bad about situation happened at last it was his failure, he never wanted you serious,you can’t just forget someone because of this Link to post Share on other sites
Lisa Posted July 20, 2023 Senior Moderators Share Posted July 20, 2023 Thread was significantly derailed. Has been cleaned and closed 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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