RecordProducer Posted November 15, 2005 Share Posted November 15, 2005 aww, well if you lost her on your own will...maybe this is karma? How helpful!! Sounds to me like you're caught up in a fantasy of what could have been. This is probably truth and is happening because you're not quite content with your marriage. If you think your wife is not the one then perhaps you could try marrriage counseling rather than dream about Stephanie, who in this case represents the ideal woman you long for in your mind. Link to post Share on other sites
julieg Posted November 22, 2005 Share Posted November 22, 2005 raven, i think that what you are experiencing is normal in many cases. you have a situation in the past that you felt you could have controlled to some extent better and now you are obsessed with what life could have been like. i have a similar thing going on only it has been over 20 years!!! i know that i am not crazy i live very productive life with a career and family and social life. the thing that i think this whole thing stems from is wanting to have it all, there are so many good qualities in all the guys i dated from "the one" to my dearly loved now husband. the problem is that the guy from 20 years ago is frozen in time - perfect-handsome-athletic-smart-etc-etc. never had the opportunity to live with him, experience the ups and downs and problems of marriage. i heard something that seems to help. when i find myself obsessing or indulging in thoughts from the past-immediately replace them with true life images of spouse and me on vacation or past experiences of joy. this blocks out thoughts you dont want and replaces them with productive images. i then find myself thinking less and less about ex-bf. julie Link to post Share on other sites
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