Author Insignificantdetails Posted July 30, 2023 Author Share Posted July 30, 2023 1 hour ago, Alpacalia said: That stinks. Sorry about that. Sounds like he's still very much involved with his ex. That's tricky situation to find yourself in. So actually, it's a plus that he didn't reply because you definitely don't want to get involved with someone who's not over their ex or put yourself in a situation where you're battling someone for a man's attention, especially if you're still getting to know him. I agree @Alpacalia a blessing in disguise. It's one thing to be friendly with an ex and another to still be a major part of each other's every daily lives when there are no children involved. I don't carry that kind of baggage with me and I'm looking for as clean a slate as possible with a new person. We all have our lives experiences but an ex always hanging around is something else entirely. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted July 30, 2023 Share Posted July 30, 2023 1 hour ago, Insignificantdetails said: I agree @Alpacalia a blessing in disguise. It's one thing to be friendly with an ex and another to still be a major part of each other's every daily lives when there are no children involved. I don't carry that kind of baggage with me and I'm looking for as clean a slate as possible with a new person. We all have our lives experiences but an ex always hanging around is something else entirely. Yes. Someone that is on dating sites when they are still very much involved with their ex is really not in a position to be dating and is a crappy move, for sure. I'm glad that you dodged this bullet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CollinW Posted July 31, 2023 Share Posted July 31, 2023 I'm almost positive you came off as neurotic and anxious through texts as you did in this thread. You have to realize some people date just to date and see where things go. So there isn't any pressure on them to be in constant communication or planning the next step. You have to learn to relax and trust in your own abilities because whatever is mean to happen will happen regardless unless someone's behavior prevents it. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 31, 2023 Share Posted July 31, 2023 On 7/26/2023 at 1:15 PM, Gaeta said: After only one date you should have continued making date plans with others. Also when l was single and dating l did not entertained men on text while they were on vacation or on business trip, l'd tell them to get in touch with me when they get back. Most of those did not get back to me which was a good thing, l was looking for a man walking the walk. It wasn't them. I agree. Sometimes I wonder if all of these vacations that pop up when people just meet are just excuses to wait for time to determime if they really want to spend time pursuing a person. I certainly wouldn't have waited around for anyone to return from vacay to go out when I was single. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Insignificantdetails Posted August 6, 2023 Author Share Posted August 6, 2023 Unbelievably, he got back in touch today 2 weeks later! Said he didn't want to ghost & that he'd felt anxiety around replying late and then forgetting to reply. He said his life is a mess at the moment but that he'd had a lovely time on the date and would like to keep in touch for meeting up again down the line if I'm open to it. I was stunned! Never received a 'not ghosting' message from a guy. Link to post Share on other sites
giotto Posted August 6, 2023 Share Posted August 6, 2023 9 minutes ago, Insignificantdetails said: Unbelievably, he got back in touch today 2 weeks later! Said he didn't want to ghost & that he'd felt anxiety around replying late and then forgetting to reply. He said his life is a mess at the moment but that he'd had a lovely time on the date and would like to keep in touch for meeting up again down the line if I'm open to it. I was stunned! Never received a 'not ghosting' message from a guy. He is dating other girls. It takes time to see if you are compatible. He got back to you because he is running out of options. So, he wants to keep you "in reserve". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Insignificantdetails Posted August 6, 2023 Author Share Posted August 6, 2023 Yeah @giotto the reasons he gave were work issues and the stress of having just bought a property - I don't doubt this IS stressful. When I bought mine it was one of the most stressful periods of my life. But I think you're probably right. By this point I'd long since assumed ghosting and character assassinated him accordingly 🙂 Well, it's not that serious, but you know. Formed a negative opinion of him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted August 6, 2023 Share Posted August 6, 2023 (edited) I think it's fine that he is multi-dating but to ask you for plans and then leave you waiting in the wings by not responding is keeping you uncertain just isn't cool. But, par for the course with online dating, the playing field is a bit different. Edited August 6, 2023 by Alpacalia Link to post Share on other sites
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