Terrible break - Gf metally unstable?

[LiakosN]

Hey guys! Hope you are doing fine!
I had a terrible break almost two months ago. Meaning my girlfriend was physically violent to me. So I had to end the relationship.
At first, she had a good behavior towards me. After 3 months the behavior changed a bit. I told her that I want an exclusive relationship with her and she told me that she wanted an open relationship. Well, this kind of... "relationship" lasted 4,5 years. We lived for 10 months at the same place (different houses) and the rest from distance. During this period, she broke up with me via a phone call telling me that: I don't want to talk to you anymore. Then after 6 months she texted me asking how am I doing. Long story short we got "back together". Oh, btw, she was telling me that I am a liar, I am fearful, I am a chameleon, I do not have my own opinion, I don't have dynamism. Despite all these, she said that she stayed with me because I have other good features of character. She was often angry and I was feeling like I was walking next to eggshells, afraid of breaking them. She told me that she could love me, but not fall in love with me and even that we do not match romantically. She told me I am a narcissist.

Last time we met she told me that she wanted to be with me but I am not acting right towards her. We had a terrible fight because she thought to I was seeing other girls (I did not). She left from my home, and I went to find her. I was trying to tell her to come home to sleep, because it was cold and rainy outside. She refused and then I left after 20 minutes. Then she phone called me and said that I abandoned her. I went back and picked her with my car. Then in my home as I was trying to sleep she was turning the lights on and off and when I told her I will lock my bedroom door, she hit me. She told me that I should be embarrassed that a woman hit me. After she hit me with her fist, then she told me: Did I hurt you? Because, I do not want to feel guilty. She did not even apologize after the event. She did not regret it (she told me)
After all these she told me that she want no contact and that shed would delete me from all social media. But she didn't. Also, she phone called me once to she how am I doing.

I was loosing my mind.

What do you think? Is it possible that she has some kind of mental disorder?

[S2B]

Yes. But I’m surprised that was your question.

why would you waste time and energy trying to keep this union going?

I would be SO glad to end it - and to make sure to never contact her again!!

get help to figure out why she would be a consideration.

Edited July 22, 2023 by S2B

[basil67]

You should be asking  yourself why you continue to engage with this person.....not whether she might have a diagnosis.

I suggest you block her from contacting you

Edited July 22, 2023 by basil67

[MsJayne]

17 hours ago, LiakosN said:

Is it possible that she has some kind of mental disorder?

Why are you even asking? I can't believe you lasted 5 years. She wanted an open relationship, then accused you of seeing other girls even though you weren't. She refuses to get in the car, waits for you to leave, and then rings you and accuses you of abandoning her.  Turning the lights on and off? How old is she? Five? She may have some type of mental illness, only a specialist can answer that, but she also might just be an abusive little wretch with a behavioural disorder. I would block her on all platforms, otherwise she'll be texting you in a few months reeling you back in. Go find yourself some nice woman who doesn't carry on like an angry toddler. 

[ShyViolet]

18 hours ago, LiakosN said:

What do you think? Is it possible that she has some kind of mental disorder?

We don't speculate on whether people may have a diagnosis of a mental disorder, nor is it your place to do so.  The only thing that matters is that you now know she acts crazy and she is not someone you should stay involved with.  Block her from contacting you and move on with your life.

[LiakosN]

15 hours ago, MsJayne said:

Why are you even asking? I can't believe you lasted 5 years. She wanted an open relationship, then accused you of seeing other girls even though you weren't. She refuses to get in the car, waits for you to leave, and then rings you and accuses you of abandoning her.  Turning the lights on and off? How old is she? Five? She may have some type of mental illness, only a specialist can answer that, but she also might just be an abusive little wretch with a behavioural disorder. I would block her on all platforms, otherwise she'll be texting you in a few months reeling you back in. Go find yourself some nice woman who doesn't carry on like an angry toddler. 

When she phone called me to pick her up the 1st thing she said was to send some pictures I had capture of her with my phone camera on her viber.. Lol.. 

She also told me after she punched me that she would call the police and they will see that I was violent towards her. I was only grabbing her forearms not to punch me again. 

I am not going back..there is no return after these, because if I return I invite myself to hell...

[S2B]

If you decided you aren’t going back to her - why did you ask us? 

if she doesn’t have mental problems - she certainly has big issues that should send you running from her forever - never to look backwards.

don’t give her any more thought. It’s no longer your problem.

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, LiakosN said:

I am not going back..there is no return after these, because if I return I invite myself to hell...

This is all that matters at this point and thank goodness you've come to this decision.  She certainly is unstable and abusive.  Also threatening to lie to the police that you were the one abusing her also makes her dangerous for a man to be around.  Be thankful that you are finally rid of her.  Block her so she can't contact you and talk you into seeing her again.  

[Wiseman2]

Hopefully you have deleted and blocked her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. Once violence and threats of calling police are happening, it's time to end it for good this time rather than keeping an on off situation going like you have for almost 5 years.

[JTSW]

So it was one rule for her and an entirely different one for you.

She could have the 'open' part of the relationship but you couldn't?

She belittles you, threatens you, physically hurts you etc.

Yeah the girl is bat s*** crazy.

You dodged a mammoth bullet.

[mark clemson]

On 7/22/2023 at 1:50 AM, LiakosN said:

What do you think? Is it possible that she has some kind of mental disorder?

It's certainly possible, but the bottom line is whatever the cause she was abusive (and you probably had early signs of that, such as emotional abuse, long before before physical abuse occurred).

Sometimes these hot/cold folks can really wreck you emotionally because their behavior messes with your brain's dopamine systems.

My advice would be to take your time to recover, DON'T let her reel you back in, DEFINITELY DON'T try to figure out what her problem is so you can try to help her - that is above your pay grade, and even if it weren't you'd have to recuse yourself since you were in a relationship.

It sounds very much like you'll be far better off moving on from this person to a more stable and emotionally healthy partner once you are ready.

It sounds like you are a nice guy that she took advantage of. I would say that (speaking very generally) women will prefer a man who is confident and emotionally stable who is ALSO a nice guy with them. So, be sure you are projecting energy and independence (NOT emotional neediness) once you eventually start dating again. You can start your nice guy ways once she's decided she likes you and has bonded a bit, and that will probably be appreciated.

[LiakosN]

3 hours ago, mark clemson said:

It's certainly possible, but the bottom line is whatever the cause she was abusive (and you probably had early signs of that, such as emotional abuse, long before before physical abuse occurred).

Sometimes these hot/cold folks can really wreck you emotionally because their behavior messes with your brain's dopamine systems.

My advice would be to take your time to recover, DON'T let her reel you back in, DEFINITELY DON'T try to figure out what her problem is so you can try to help her - that is above your pay grade, and even if it weren't you'd have to recuse yourself since you were in a relationship.

It sounds very much like you'll be far better off moving on from this person to a more stable and emotionally healthy partner once you are ready.

It sounds like you are a nice guy that she took advantage of. I would say that (speaking very generally) women will prefer a man who is confident and emotionally stable who is ALSO a nice guy with them. So, be sure you are projecting energy and independence (NOT emotional neediness) once you eventually start dating again. You can start your nice guy ways once she's decided she likes you and has bonded a bit, and that will probably be appreciated.

Emotional abuse such as : crossing boundaries, trivialize me, calling me names, one day you are wonderfull the other she was blaming me, right.

Yeah! Α lot of people are telling me that I have kindness...even if they know me for a while..I am am acting with kindness..

And she claims that I took her advantage of. Isn't it a projection? 

 

[S2B]

Who cares what excuses she tells herself. Make sure she can’t communicate with you anymore!!!

[mark clemson]

22 hours ago, LiakosN said:

And she claims that I took her advantage of. Isn't it a projection?

Probably yes.