Kassieee Posted July 22, 2023 Share Posted July 22, 2023 (edited) This is the second situationship where the guy got upset about me going to bed with them, and then waking up and I'm sleeping in the next room. Is that something to get upset over? Edit. The first guy I was in a relationship with. Edited July 22, 2023 by justaskingok Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted July 22, 2023 Share Posted July 22, 2023 If I’m following you. you fall asleep with them together in a bed or on couch thrn middle of night you wake up and sleep elsewhere or you go home? yes that send a message you aren’t interested in them unless there was a reason thst you have yet to say like thry are a snorer and you can’t sleep or thry constantly kick you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted July 22, 2023 Author Share Posted July 22, 2023 Just now, Ami1uwant said: If I’m following you. you fall asleep with them together in a bed or on couch thrn middle of night you wake up and sleep elsewhere or you go home? yes that send a message you aren’t interested in them unless there was a reason thst you have yet to say like thry are a snorer and you can’t sleep or thry constantly kick you. In bed. I go in the next room because I toss and turn too much and I don't want to interrupt. And if it's the time of the month and need my own space. He was like " if I wanted to sleep alone I wouldn't have you sleep over" all mad, full of attitude and loud. Over reacting? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 22, 2023 Share Posted July 22, 2023 Well yeah....why bother staying the night if you're not going to be sharing a bed together? Sleeping together provides a wonderful kind of intimacy and it's not very nice to deny your partner this. The only caveat being if they've complained about your sleeping habits and you come to a mutual agreement. If they haven't actually complained about you keeping them awake, then it sounds like you're using the idea of interrupting them as a lame excuse to sleep elsewhere. And as a woman, the only reason I can imagine you needing your own space when you have your period is because you're experiencing flooding. And if this is the case, you need to see a doctor to better manage it in order to get back to sleeping together In other words, I think the guys in the story are right. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 22, 2023 Share Posted July 22, 2023 26 minutes ago, justaskingok said: all mad, full of attitude and loud. Over reacting? If they are being jerks or you don't feel well, just go home after hookups. Or better yet, don't hook up with men who get "full of attitude and loud". Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted July 22, 2023 Share Posted July 22, 2023 I wouldn't be trying to gauge interest based on some after hookup cuddles. If he's actively asking you out and wanting to spend time getting to know you outside of the bedroom, that's a different story. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 22, 2023 Share Posted July 22, 2023 Are you usually a light sleeper/have difficulty sleeping in new places? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted July 22, 2023 Author Share Posted July 22, 2023 7 minutes ago, BaileyB said: Are you usually a light sleeper/have difficulty sleeping in new places? I'm a light to no sleeper. Restless in general no matter where I am. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 23, 2023 Share Posted July 23, 2023 8 minutes ago, justaskingok said: I'm a light to no sleeper. Restless in general no matter where I am. Did you tell him that when he asked you to stay over? I ask because my partner is a poor sleeper. I love to sleep next to him, but I’ve adjusted my expectations knowing that he doesn’t sleep well and as such, it’s really important for him to get some sleep - however that happens. Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted July 23, 2023 Share Posted July 23, 2023 Why don't you just say goodbye and head home after the sex is over? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 23, 2023 Share Posted July 23, 2023 21 minutes ago, justaskingok said: I'm a light to no sleeper. Restless in general no matter where I am. Ok then you could date or hookup with men who don't get "all mad, full of attitude and loud" and just go home and relax. Link to post Share on other sites
BrinnM Posted July 23, 2023 Share Posted July 23, 2023 5 minutes ago, NuevoYorko said: Why don't you just say goodbye and head home after the sex is over? I don’t think that would make a difference in that particular case …. He’d still be offended. If, like OP says, the guy “got upset about her going to bed with them, and then waking up and she’s sleeping in the next room”, why would he be less upset about her going home in the middle of the night? I personally would prefer to go home but that’s not always possible. Too much to drink, no cab available, no other ride available, too far, you name it ……. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted July 23, 2023 Author Share Posted July 23, 2023 (edited) 15 minutes ago, NuevoYorko said: Why don't you just say goodbye and head home after the sex is over? He was knocked out....I didn't want to go home we had something to do the next morning. I'm wondering if his reaction is out of line. Is it offensive? Mean? ...if someone chooses to sleep somewhere else. And why?- I don't understand it because it's happened to me I didn't feel any type of wY. Why does it trigger some people? Edited July 23, 2023 by justaskingok Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted July 23, 2023 Share Posted July 23, 2023 I don't think you'd care one way or another if he'd be offended or not unless you're hoping his response means something. Of course I could be wrong but typically we don't tend to care about someone's response unless we're attaching deeper meaning to it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BrinnM Posted July 23, 2023 Share Posted July 23, 2023 3 minutes ago, justaskingok said: Is it offensive? Mean? No. You’re your own person and you can sleep wherever you want. He has no say in this. It’s ridiculous. He needs to cut it out. Pouting is for toddlers. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 23, 2023 Share Posted July 23, 2023 8 minutes ago, justaskingok said: He was knocked out....I didn't want to go home we had something to do the next morning. Was he drunk? Maybe he was hungover the next day and cranky? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted July 23, 2023 Author Share Posted July 23, 2023 6 minutes ago, Alpacalia said: I don't think you'd care one way or another if he'd be offended or not unless you're hoping his response means something. Of course I could be wrong but typically we don't tend to care about someone's response unless we're attaching deeper meaning to it. I do care to know if I, or anyone for that matter deserves to be spoken to like that over sleeping somewhere else and if its something worth a fight. That's the bigger picture. Maybe I didn't make myself clear. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted July 23, 2023 Author Share Posted July 23, 2023 7 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Was he drunk? Maybe he was hungover the next day and cranky? No. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted July 23, 2023 Share Posted July 23, 2023 (edited) 22 minutes ago, justaskingok said: He was knocked out....I didn't want to go home we had something to do the next morning. I'm wondering if his reaction is out of line. Is it offensive? Mean? ...if someone chooses to sleep somewhere else. And why?- I don't understand it because it's happened to me I didn't feel any type of wY. Why does it trigger some people? If he was knocked out, then your restless sleeping would not have bothered him. As for him being "triggered" it's highly unlikely that he started the discussion in this manner. I feel like the words were in said as part of escalating frustration. What discussions happened before he got the attitude? Also, did he give you permission to sleep in another room? Personally, I wouldn't want someone who's in a 'situationship' with me helping themselves to other beds in my home without asking first. Sure, I'd likely say 'yes' but common courtesy is to check it's OK. Who's bed was it that you actually ended up sleeping in? Edited July 23, 2023 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted July 23, 2023 Author Share Posted July 23, 2023 15 minutes ago, BrinnM said: No. You’re your own person and you can sleep wherever you want. He has no say in this. It’s ridiculous. He needs to cut it out. Pouting is for toddlers. I didn't think it was such a big apparently for some people ot is. Personally for me it doesn't trigger anything in me. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 23, 2023 Share Posted July 23, 2023 (edited) 25 minutes ago, justaskingok said: I'm wondering if his reaction is out of line. Is it offensive? I’ve never yelled at my partner for leaving to sleep in another room. I would prefer to sleep together. It frustrates me that he is such a light sleeper and it makes me sad when he leaves, but I’ve never been “upset” with him. Edited July 23, 2023 by BaileyB Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted July 23, 2023 Author Share Posted July 23, 2023 10 minutes ago, basil67 said: If he was knocked out, then your restless sleeping would not have bothered him. As for him being "triggered" it's highly unlikely that he started the discussion in this manner. I feel like the words were in said as part of escalating frustration. What discussions happened before he got the attitude? Also, did he give you permission to sleep in another room? Personally, I wouldn't want someone who's in a 'situationship' with me helping themselves to other beds in my home without asking first. Sure, I'd likely say 'yes' but common courtesy is to check it's OK. Who's bed was it that you actually ended up sleeping in? He came in the room all bewildered and said that. No discussion was had before that because he just had walked in the room in the morning looking for me as soon as he woke up . So yeah.. it was the first thing he said. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kassieee Posted July 23, 2023 Author Share Posted July 23, 2023 59 minutes ago, BaileyB said: Did you tell him that when he asked you to stay over? I ask because my partner is a poor sleeper. I love to sleep next to him, but I’ve adjusted my expectations knowing that he doesn’t sleep well and as such, it’s really important for him to get some sleep - however that happens. No I didn't tell him that I tend to do that. Next time I should give a heads up 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 23, 2023 Share Posted July 23, 2023 He's probably only upset because you not being next to him in the morning means no morning sex. He wants to maximize his time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 23, 2023 Share Posted July 23, 2023 (edited) 27 minutes ago, justaskingok said: He came in the room all bewildered and said that. Well yes, pulling a disappearing act in the middle of the night after he passed out and woke up wondering what happened is a bit rude in his house especially since you didn't tell him it's a habit of yours or leave a note text or anything. Sounds like a misunderstanding due to poor communication. If you are going to be a guest in someone's home make it clear you intend to use their guest room after sex. Don't just help yourself to every room in their home. Did you wash the sheets and clean up the room after you used it? Edited July 23, 2023 by Wiseman2 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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