Why is this upsetting for some people?

[JTSW]

3 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

This looks like a lot of game-playing to control the guy, OP. 

It seems to be less about the bed and much more about you engaging in some sort of silly power struggle. 

Totally agree.

[BaileyB]

14 hours ago, justaskingok said:

I acknowledged his feelings though.

No, you didn’t. 
 

14 hours ago, justaskingok said:

Going to the next room because I couldn’t rest and needed my own space doesn't warrant an apology. I told him not take it personal. 

If sleeping alone sparks negative feelings in him he needs to figure that out for himself. I'm not obligated to stay in bed with him.

Not in any way did you acknowledge his feelings. You asked him how he felt and then you told him how it was going to go - you are going to do whatever you want and if he doesn’t like it, he needs to figure that out for himself. You are not obligated to do anything - not even apologize for your part in this situation. 

I would not expect him to stick around for very much longer OP. This conversation would have shown him a lot about what it’s like to be in a relationship with you and nobody really wants to be in a relationship with another who has the attitude - it’s my way or the highway…

[Els]

I think it's fine for you to choose not to sleep together, but the issue lies in the WAY you did it. As others have said, you need to communicate this ahead of time. It would be a rude shock for anyone to fall asleep next to a person and then wake up alone in the middle of the night, if there was no communication. Hopefully, this is something that you understand now...

15 hours ago, basil67 said:

The only people I know who have long term spare rooms are those are young couples who've bought a home which will fit a child or two....or empty nesters. 

How do you manage when there's no other bed for you to go to?

Hm, I live in a city with a relatively high cost of living and I don't actually know too many long-term couples who DON'T have a spare bedroom, even if they don't intend to have children. It's really important IMO to have a space where one person can go to have some alone time, especially during the Covid pandemic where both people might be at home 24/7.

Financially, it's not any different from being single and sharing a house with a roommate. In both scenarios 2 people are sharing the cost of a 2-bedroom house, it's just that the couple has a spare room and the singles each have 1 room. There are definitely couples who do share a 1-bedroom or even (god forbid) a studio, but that tends to be a temporary arrangement borne out of extreme financial need (e.g. students or unemployed). I don't understand how or why working professionals would opt for such an arrangement long-term.

[stillafool]

On 7/23/2023 at 12:07 AM, justaskingok said:

I don't understand feeling mad and causing a fight over someone sleeping in the next room just because you didn't want to sleep alone. 

I doubt very much his anger was due to him having to "sleep alone".  Who does he sleep with when you're not there?  If you had crawled back into bed with him in the morning and had sex he wouldn't have been upset.  I think you went to the other room to test his feelings.  If you can't sleep with someone else in the bed with you tell men that.  Maybe let them come to your place to have sex and then tell them they have to leave after sex or sleep in your guest bedroom.

[Lisa]

Thread closed at OPs request