Birthday Gift--I want feedback plz.

[basscatcher]

Ok I guess this is directed mostly towards those of you I have had interaction with and have come to know me a little.

 

Mr. L bday is Thursday Nov. 10. He is financially stable and can pretty much go out and buy anything he WANTS.

I do not have the luxury of money to be able to go buy him something nice for his bday so I came up with the idea to give him a little peice of me.. (not physically--U r dirty minded!!! but I'm sure that will happen also if we find time alone.)

 

What I ment is use the talents God gave me.

I put together a Poem thingy for him.

One night after I was out with him at 1am in the morning I had to grab paper and write what I was feeling because I felt so overwhelmed by him I had to express myself.

I thought about taking this poem finding a nice standing picture frame and framing it and giving it to him.

 

Please let me know what you think..

 

Is It You

 

Could it be true, that it may be you?

I’ve searched for a dream of a man that’s true,

Someone who’s real and can renew me too.

Could it be true, that it may be you?

You are kind & sweet, like the heart of a child,

That is melting my fears that have run wild.

You’ve given me a reason to dream again;

To believe there maybe someone real & true.

Could it be true, that it maybe you?

Another year has passed & we are now together;

I’m thankful to God that he hasn’t waited much longer; to send me a man as kind as you;

to open my heart that can’t be closed forever.

 

You have given me a reason to dream again of a love that could grow stronger than just a friend.

I thank the lord that our lives have crossed, to dream of a love that I thought was always lost.

There’s a peace in me that you have set free.

Where I feel I can always be me;

Thank you for all that you do;

You are a gift that God sent for me to treasure ;

Like the stars in the sky that will last forever.

Could it be true, that it is you?

The dream I have dreamed that will last forever.

 

It may seem somewhat premature to write such deep words but as much time as we spend together and how much we share I don't think its overboard..

Guys: Can you imagin recieving this from a female you spend all your free time and thensome with?

Gals: Can you understand the feeling I am conveying?

 

Feedback please. I'm running out of time.

[bunnzy]

I would suggest the following small revisions

 

Is It You

 

Could it be true, that it may be you?

I’ve searched for a dream of a man that’s true,

Someone who’s real; who can renew me too.

Could it be true, that it may be you?

You are kind & sweet, heart of a child,

melting my fears that have run wild.

given me a reason to dream again;

I believe there maybe someone real & true.

Could it be true, that it maybe you?

Another year has passed & we are now together;

I’m thankful to God that He hasn’t waited much longer; to send me a man as kind as you;

opened my heart that can’t be closed forever.

 

You have given me a reason to live again with a love that could grow stronger than just a friend.

I thank the Lord that our lives have met, to experience a love that I thought was lost.

There’s a peace in me; you have set free.

Where I feel I can always be me;

Thank you for all that you do;

You are a gift that God sent for me to treasure ;

Like the stars in the sky depth in eternity unsurpassed.

Could it be true, that it is you?

The dream I have dreamed that will last forever.

 

You dont have to go with that, i just think it flows a little better.

[slubberdegullion]

It's very touching, I think, and obviously you've put a great deal of thought into it.

 

A couple of minor points, if I may:

• The religious overtones may be a reflection of your personality and beliefs, and that's all to the good. But if his faith is less powerful than yours, or he's an atheist or agnostic, it may not resonate with him;
  
• Like you pointed out, it's pretty deep. Seeing as this is only the initial stages of your relationship, I see it as being a bit premature. Now, you've already mentioned this in your epilogue, but I wonder if it may come across as a bit too much;
  
• One quick edit: You are kind & sweet, like the heart of a child may be more appropriate as You are kind & sweet, with the heart of a child.

 

Just my $0.02...

[TUDOR]

I don't know, this is pretty deep and depending on where is head is in the long term skeem of things this could be scary.... assuming he isn't ready to commit or in the same place as you. I think it might be too soon for somethign of this level based on the time you guys have been together but that is just my 2 cents. Great poem though!

[basscatcher]

Good input.

 

He has no problem with religous overtones. He was raised in proc. school and his kids go to one also. We are the same faith.

 

Friday night when he had a few drinks in him when he was saying good night to me he was looking at me in the evening light and he slipped out "I love you" and was embarrassed by it and made the comment as he pulled away "Oh wow, that was early" "I'm sorry." he went from a 41 yr old man to a 16 yr old teenager in his actions. his face turned red as a beet. I told him not to fret. Its ok...

 

I slipped under alcohol influence but yet he wasnt that drunk.... seriously.. I think it was just the moment and we had such a wonderful evening out he was feeling and he spoke outloud.

 

I feel and believe we are on the same level..

[Hot Coco]

I really liked it Pad. I thought it was honest and from the heart. You're not saying you know for sure that he's THE ONE since the title is "Is it You?" But you're saying that you think he COULD be.

 

Honestly, if he already slipped out the "I love you" that tells me he's feeling what you're feeling too. I say give it to him. And maybe make him a special dinner just the two of you with a special cake. You could maybe decorate it yourself with something special.

[basscatcher]

He loved his poem.. He was so flattered. He said no one has ever done anything like that for him before. He said he loved it. He blushed as he read it. lol

He displayed it in his living room on his entertainment center. The colors I chose matched his decour. I took Desktop Publishing in College and A'ced it.. It looks so nice. I used Celtic design and natural greem and yellows for a background with a nice easy to read script.

 

We went out with his kids until 7pm then it was him and I alone for the rest of the evening... I didn't get home till 2:30 this morning and still managed to get up for work and TODAY has been hell day with work. Busy Busy Busy. I am squeezing in a few moments to give a updat.

 

Tonight I have tickets to the Bon Jovi concert near the front. I have a GF from out of town that is one of the main Bon Jovi Club Members and she already had tickets as a club member then she wont a pair off the radio this morning and asked me if I wanted them. Of course I said yes. So Mr. L and I will be dragging our poor tired -somewhat hung over feeling-a$$ to the concert tonight.

 

Wow does love always burn the candle at both ends?? Gosh, I love life right now.. It couldn't get much better...

[alphamale]

its a superb poem but I would not give it to him right now. maybe 2 or 3 months down the road.

 

an expensive bottle of his favourite liquor would work best.

 

a poem or flwrs from a woman would not do much for me, personally...

 

Bon Jovi

why has this guy been so popular for 20 yrs? WTF!

[whichwayisup]

CUZ he's a NICE GUY and a BADBOY wrapped up in one. He's a good singer, good music (yeah yeah, I love 80's bands! Sue me!) and hot as hell!

 

Ofcourse a poem and flowers would not do it for you Alpha, you're not that type. Maybe a blowjob poem or something would get ya going, through in afew Go PISTONS Go in there too, lol!

 

Too late, she gave him the poem and he loved it! I'm happy for ya P! Have fun at the concert!

[FataMorgana]

 

why has this guy been so popular for 20 yrs? WTF!

 

looks. looks. looks.... similar with you "match" good looking profile. If Bon Jovi doesn't have looks don't know who has...

 

and his music is OK as well, pada I am so envious right now you going to see him tonight.

 

Glad your poem worked out well and life is good:D

[basscatcher]

Thank you,

 

He did love his poem. He is a very humble man. He is not arrogant or pompus. He is very down to earth.

He keeps bringing up the poem he called me this afternoon while I am at work and he wanted to thank me again. He really likes it.

He can have any material possesion he basically wants within reason. He is very established in his business and he also had an inheritance from his parents when they pasted away so he is sitting good.

He even told me if he wanted anything he would just go out and buy it.

I dont have that kind of access to money. I never have. I chose to give him something from me. From apart of me and he said no one has ever given him anything like that before and it means a lot to him.

Not evreyone is materialistic and not every man is afraid of his feelings or showing them.. He is fully accepting of me and the way I am, who I am, how deeply I feel.

 

We went out for a steak supper and plenty of drinks last night. I didn't get home till 2:30 am.. The more he drank to more open he became and the more honest he became.. He is not like your average chicken-shyt man who is on reserve and holds back what he feels. He doesn't let his head totally rule his heart.. He is compassionate and caring.

He could probably teach some of you guys a few things..

He said he reads me like a book even when I keep my mouth shut. He can see how I feel by looking into my eyes. He is right about me and he isn't running. He told me he isn't going anywhere.

He maybe meeting my family at Thanksgiving--depending on the weather will depend on whether or not we go up North.. Thats almost a 6 hour drive.

 

Alpha your pridictions on him are turning out to not be right.. He is the perfect balance of a man. He is very balanced with his emotions/sensitivity and his dominate/masculine sides.

[basscatcher]

I'm not a big Bon Jovi fan but I do like a few of his songs.

My gf is a big time fanatic. She even has her license plates specialized reguarding him.

I personally don't think Bon Jovi is good looking but he has a great bod and good sex appeal minus the face and hair.. He also has that hometown country boy pizzaz which makes him appealing.

 

He doesn't always come off as a high roller/money bag/pimp daddy of sorts.

I see him as more of the Bruce Springstein type. Down to earth Country values. Even though he is a star...

I would say that is what has kept him popular.. He hasn't changed much except in hair styles.

[slubberdegullion]

Ever wonder why Bon Jovi has such long hair?

 

It's because his ears stick out like two little half-moons off of the side of his head! He was in the movie U-571 (in which he did a creditable acting job, much to my surprise and delight) where he played the submarine radio operator. That's where I noticed his ears. No wonder he wants to stay underwater; the wind might pick him up and send him off to someplace that's not Kansas...!

[Outcast]

but I would not give it to him right now

 

Try to keep up, willya.

 

Oh, and Pada, it's they PASSED away. Hopefully you won't say 'pasted away' to anyone. It sounds kinda insulting. Glad the dude liked the poem.

[basscatcher]

Woooooooooo.. The concert was good. Bon Jovi doesn't change other then his hair. He can't dance.... He is shorter then I thought. He is built like my brother and walks like him too. Weird...

 

He sang a lot of his old popular tunes.. I liked the stage setup--it was neat. BUT Prince definetly has the best stage performance I have seen yet out of the few concerts I've gone too.

Mr. L enjoyed himself and we had pretty good seats. I got sick on the food at the Target Center. I think the cheeze was bad. I got home went to brush my teeth and I didn't feel so well. It all came up. Good thing we didn't stop by the club afterwards... I would have upchucked my food on the dance floor. :lmao:

 

Mr. L had to work this morning and pick up his kids at noon so we both retired after the concert. Tonight we go to his brothers house and grille (steaks). I will have to retire early tonight because I have to be in church by 9am tomorrow because I am my gf's sponser as she joins the church. She has her intro rites into the church tomorrow in front of the congregation. So no partying this weekend but next weekend we are planning on going out.

 

All is well.

[slubberdegullion]

She has her intro rites into the church tomorrow in front of the congregation.

Is that the part when the pastor holds her under the water until she sees the light?

[basscatcher]

Is that the part when the pastor holds her under the water until she sees the light?

Hun thats at Easter!!