do you keep your future plans to yourself or share them?

[Chloeflowers]

Its exciting to share plans with people/close friends but with that comes unwanted opinions. I had this dumb phase that i wanted to move to los angeles when i was younger, people told me that i shouldnt move there because its for the rich people, expensive and filled with gang bangers. Which i know, i’m not stupid, but they didnt know what profession i was going into or my net worth, its not like i’m going to be living in skid row. I know plenty of people that move to other parts of cali for a job.

also, people have dislikes about climate/scenery etc etc. just anywhere. i dont like rural areas or extremely cold places. I have a friend that moved to minnesota, they have brutal winters but i didnt yell at her for moving there

Why get so defensive? Envy cuz they cant afford to move

[Wiseman2]

Tell them after the fact. Simply announce "I moved to...", or "I got a new job at...". That's actually news and not really seeking support, approval or unwanted opinions.

[JTSW]

Who care's what other's think.

The only opinion that matters is yours when it comes to your decisions.

 

[BrinnM]

I share them with people I trust.

And even those people can have strong opinions at times, opinions that I don’t share. They have a right to their beliefs and opinions, and so do I. Doesn’t bother me. 

Sometimes, if I have a plan in mind, and I decide to share it with trusted friends and family, I get negative feedback - occasionally I consider it, too, if I feel like they have a point. And I might change my mind. No, I don’t believe they’re jealous or envious. I typically believe they’re being truthful and honest, and that they have my best interest in mind. 

[Alpacalia]

My close friends are pretty involved in my life.

I moved and they supported me but also didn't want me to leave. I don't sit and think about if I need to tell them, we share our lives with each other naturally but it's not like I need to call them and tell them every aspect of my life like if I need to go to the store to buy underwear or something. 

Edited July 26, 2023 by Alpacalia

[Chloeflowers]

One time i told a close friend from school how i wanted to go to glamour shots for senior pictures, b/c we were talking about where we were going for senior pics, she went off at me, saying how terrible it was and back then glamour shots were popular. Every girl in school had gotten a glamour shot, I told her i see for myself how “terrible” their services are, let me experience at least she still continued to argue with me. Its not like she was going to pay the bill. From then on, I dont bother telling ppl my plans. Just when its a done deal

[basil67]

9 hours ago, Chloeflowers said:

I have a friend that moved to minnesota, they have brutal winters but i didnt yell at her for moving there

Why get so defensive? Envy cuz they cant afford to move

Kindly, I believe you are misreading their reactions and are overreacting to a high degree.  In my 50 odd years of life, I've never been yelled at by someone who disagrees with a choice or idea I've had.  I've never seen it done to anyone else either.  Sure, they might give an opinion along the lines of "have you thought about this (negative) thing?"  Or the occasional rude person may go on a rant about how much they dislike the thing, but they don't yell at us.  

As for the school friend's reaction, this is the second time I've seen you invoke silly schoolgirl behaviour and taken it into your adulthood and let it affect the decisions you make as an adult.  You know, it's possible your friend at the time didn't have the money for a photo....or that her parents wouldn't allow it...so she covered up her disappointment by pretending it was her choice to not have a photo done.  Or she simply wanted to rebel against what the flock was doing.  All in all, I doubt her reaction was about you.  Best to leave the past in the past and don't read too much into it.  

 

Edited July 26, 2023 by basil67

[BrinnM]

Yes, I remember these glam shots, when they were popular, and I thought they were super silly. I definitely had friends who got those, and so did my grandmother. I did not, and I made fun of my grams a little bit, but in a nice way. She was and is still beautiful ….. 

[Chloeflowers]

10 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Tell them after the fact. Simply announce "I moved to...", or "I got a new job at...". That's actually news and not really seeking support, approval or unwanted opinions.

Yeah, that's exactly what I'm going to do, when its a done deal. Most people I know have just made their announcements-not tell plans 

[JTSW]

17 hours ago, Chloeflowers said:

Every girl in school had gotten a glamour shot,

just out of curiosity, how did the glamour shots turn out?

 I think she was just jealous.

[Alpacalia]

On 7/26/2023 at 5:51 AM, Chloeflowers said:

Why get so defensive? Envy cuz they cant afford to move

People that often exhibit signs of paranoia when it comes to interpersonal connections and social groups are usually insecure.

I became best friends with a woman many moons ago that I felt didn't like me initially but I certainly didn't think that she was envious of me.

It's usually two possible outcomes when someone says that someone else doesn't like them.

Interestingly enough, in those other cases, these individuals are typically unaware when someone genuinely dislikes them.

Edited July 27, 2023 by Alpacalia

[Chloeflowers]

Or maybe people like to ruin your plans/goals to hold you back. Awhile back I told a guy in the early stages of dating that I wanted to move out of state, he then gave me some stupid speech on about moving isnt going to solve my problems and that it will follow me everywhere I go. Of course he wanted me  me to stay to hold me back because he would have wanted me to be stuck with him. I view it as an opportunity not escaping problems. What a controlling ahole. Even guys in the dating pool arent worth sharing plans. Lesson learned. 

[JTSW]

9 minutes ago, Chloeflowers said:

Awhile back I told a guy in the early stages of dating that I wanted to move out of state, he then gave me some stupid speech on about moving isnt going to solve my problems and that it will follow me everywhere I go.

He's actually right.

Doesn't sound to me like he was trying to hold you back, just giving some valuable advice.

You overreacted on this one.

Why do you always see other people as having a hidden agenda when it comes to you?

I really couldn't live life the way you do.

Edited July 28, 2023 by JTSW

[Chloeflowers]

3 minutes ago, JTSW said:

He's actually right.

Doesn't sound to me like he was trying to hold you back, just giving some valuable advice.

You overreacted on this one.

Why do you always see other people as having a hidden agenda when it comes to you?

I really couldn't live life the way you do.

No, there was a business opportunity out of state . He assumed it was for “problems” since he had problems, not everyone has problems

Edited July 28, 2023 by Chloeflowers

[Chloeflowers]

On 7/27/2023 at 5:57 AM, JTSW said:

just out of curiosity, how did the glamour shots turn out?

 I think she was just jealous.

My photoshoot turned out great! 

[JTSW]

7 minutes ago, Chloeflowers said:

No, there was a business opportunity out of state . He assumed it was for “problems” since he had problems, not everyone has problems

I meant just what he said was good advice in general.

 

[JTSW]

6 minutes ago, Chloeflowers said:

My photoshoot turned out great! 

Then she was just jealous lol

[Alpacalia]

2 hours ago, Chloeflowers said:

Or maybe people like to ruin your plans/goals to hold you back.

Huh? How did the man in your example voicing an opinion ruin your plans? 

[glows]

Lol gangbangers

You pick the people you share certain things with. Don’t broadcast to the wrong crowd. 

[Alpacalia]

53 minutes ago, glows said:

Lol gangbangers. 

I did my laundry at a laundrymat in Cali (northern Cali). My dryer had a weird smell. They did come out very hot though.

Yes, Cali has some parts where you don't wanna be after dark. One tried to sell me some weed, but I said no thanks. Weed is very common out here. 

I like Cali though.👌 ☺️

 

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, Chloeflowers said:

 . He assumed it was for “problems” since he had problems, not everyone has problems

Yes, this makes no sense. People move for all sorts of reasons. Maybe some are running away, starting over, whatever, but many people move for economics, jobs, family, whatever. Just don't bother arguing with negative people. It's an exercise in futility.