rosean Posted July 27, 2023 Share Posted July 27, 2023 I recently reconnected with someone I met a while ago through a friend and we hit it off, although I didn't think it would go anywhere because he was leaving to travel for over a month, and I was planning on also travelling for a few weeks following his return. We had also spoken before over text and it fizzled, so I had more reason to feel like he maybe wasn't serious. Because of this I also didn't bother explaining to him my situation (that I had moved back to my parents recently, I was saving, my travel plans in details and looking for a new place when I was back). He asked me if I still lived where I once did and in the moment just said yes without thinking twice about seeing him again... Before you know it he is messaging and calling and a few dates in he asked me why I hadn't invited him over. I was put on the spot and made up an excuse when I really could've just cleared it up right then and there!!! It's been a month since we first reconnected ....and now we speak daily. He's been gone for three weeks and I had to tell him I was ending my lease because of my travel plans. I feel very guilty keeping up with the lie until my 'move out date'. I'm not ashamed being with my parents temporarily as it was always the plan. He's very family oriented and I know he wouldn't care if I lived at home. I do like him a lot and feel I want to share my world with him but don't know if I'm overthinking this whole thing. Do I keep up the lie or come clean? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 27, 2023 Share Posted July 27, 2023 Like you said it's something small so tell him you were caught off guard when he asked so you answered yes but the truth is you are at your parents temporarely. Feeding and maintaining a lie is worse than the lie itself. Don't do that. The more you wait the less forgavable it becomes. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 27, 2023 Share Posted July 27, 2023 I think you need to come clean. Explain the truth to him. He may not see it as a big deal, or he might be put off that you lied a couple times about it. You won't have any control over the outcome, but he can at least make an informed decision about whether or not he wants to continue seeing you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted July 27, 2023 Share Posted July 27, 2023 Keeping up a lie is never a good idea, never ever. If you do continue seeing this guy, the truth will come out and then it will make you look really bad. You might as well come clean now. Your choices are basically that, or stop seeing him. Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted July 28, 2023 Share Posted July 28, 2023 On 7/27/2023 at 3:47 AM, rosean said: Do I keep up the lie or come clean? Definitely don't keep up the lie. It will only get worse over time and eventually backfire. Come clean and be completely honest. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted July 29, 2023 Share Posted July 29, 2023 He does know you ended your lease. Most people would be curious and he is showing he is or suspects that something is up or you’re not telling him the full story. The whole point of being in a relationship is about sharing your life, isn’t it? If someone’s story doesn’t add up or they appear evasive early on it usually turns people off. I’d mention it but don’t make a big deal of it. If he has other questions answer in a direct manner. Carry on if you both continue to have interest in one another. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 29, 2023 Share Posted July 29, 2023 (edited) On 7/26/2023 at 10:47 PM, rosean said: a few dates in he asked me why I hadn't invited him over He already knows something is up. Don't kid yourself. If the truth is better than what he may already be thinking, it's better to level. You know what they say about tangled webs. He may start to lose interest if he thinks you live with a BF or are hiding something. Edited July 29, 2023 by Wiseman2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 29, 2023 Share Posted July 29, 2023 Really up until this point it's none of his business. If you want to tell him then just tell him the reason why he can't come over is because you had to move back home. Don't have to tell him any of the details, he not your BF you are just talking/ had a few dates. Link to post Share on other sites
Alvi Posted July 30, 2023 Share Posted July 30, 2023 On 7/26/2023 at 8:47 PM, rosean said: Before you know it he is messaging and calling and a few dates in he asked me why I hadn't invited him over. I was put on the spot and made up an excuse when I really could've just cleared it up right then and there!!! I agree with smackie9. I think that you are overthinking this. You don't really owe him much explanation. Not that you should be dishonest with this guy or anybody for that matter, but you don't need to share a lot of details with him. Tell him that you moved back home temporarily and leave it at that. You don't need to elaborate on things at this point. When, how and why doesn't matter much. The two of you are not exclusive so it is entirely up to you how much info to give this guy. Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted July 30, 2023 Share Posted July 30, 2023 yeah just tell him you had to move back home and carry on. Please don't waste any further angst over this. Link to post Share on other sites
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