Author babybrowns Posted August 27, 2023 Author Share Posted August 27, 2023 (edited) Hello all Thank you for your further replies and inputs. Just to clarify a few things that seem to be propping up here: - it was not just his hints of not liking to do things alone that made me think he was just after companionship: it was the combination of this and the apparent lack of interest in me. In other words, he was happy to continue seeing me and concretely speak of a vacation despite not being into me. - Yes a kiss after one or two dates might be soon but the issue is that there was zero other physical affection from him, or even flirting, for the entire duration of our two dates. Nothing other than friend vibes. Which again feeds into the earlier point. - as some people are asking, yes the first time we met at the party I did feel a connection, but then on our two actual dates, I didn’t feel anything but differences between us. During our first meeting at the party, it was more the ‘mysterious and handsome stranger’ vibes that drew me in. Alcohol also helped make him more talkative than he is normally. On our two actual dates, I saw how different we are. Eg he likes to keep himself completely shut off from the world, doesn’t watch TV or even the news for this reason (confessed that he doesn’t watch the news because he doesn’t want to know what’s going in the world). He hates most people as well as animals, even dogs. Hardly smiles or laughs, sees the world through a negative lens. Looks down on people who don’t have good jobs/wages and treats them dismissively. These are just examples. We have many different outlooks on life in many other ways too besides this. None of this was made evident that first night we met at the party, again perhaps due to his excessive consumption of alcohol that night / excitement at having met a girl and trying to make himself seem appealing to her. But seeing what he was actually like when sober, was more than enough to put me off. It wasn’t enough to put him off though, again which feeds into the ‘just wants a companion’ theory but which matters little here anyway- I do not wish to continue. Once again thank you everyone for your replies. It is a shame that this turned out to be different from what I thought. But atleast I got the chance to explore it and arrive at that conclusion. I wish him luck! Edited August 27, 2023 by babybrowns Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 27, 2023 Share Posted August 27, 2023 42 minutes ago, babybrowns said: at the party, it was more the ‘mysterious and handsome stranger’ vibes that drew me in. It's good you pursued him, went on a couple of dates and got to see some other aspects of him. Unfortunately this seems to be a case of "all that glitters isn't gold". That's ok, now you can move forward in peace knowing you gave it a shot. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted August 28, 2023 Share Posted August 28, 2023 6 hours ago, babybrowns said: He hates most people as well as animals, even dogs. What the heck? Yeah, forget it. No amount of chemistry is going to help someone who hates most people and animals. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 28, 2023 Share Posted August 28, 2023 6 hours ago, babybrowns said: it was the combination of this and the apparent lack of interest in me. I don't really get it. If he had expressed interest in you, would you have continued seeing him despite the many incompatibilities you discovered? I am wondering why his seeming lack of romantic interest tops the list here rather than the other red flags. Anyway, take this as a lesson moving forward: don't get too enamoured by vague first impressions when you don't know the person. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted August 28, 2023 Share Posted August 28, 2023 6 hours ago, babybrowns said: He hates most people as well as animals, even dogs. Hardly smiles or laughs, sees the world through a negative lens. Looks down on people who don’t have good jobs/wages and treats them dismissively. Huh? Yet you are not seeing him again because he's "not that into you"? The guy sounds like a sociopath! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 28, 2023 Share Posted August 28, 2023 7 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: Anyway, take this as a lesson moving forward: don't get too enamoured by vague first impressions when you don't know the person. This was exactly what I was going to say… Link to post Share on other sites
Author babybrowns Posted August 28, 2023 Author Share Posted August 28, 2023 (edited) That’s not it at all- I did not say that that’s the main reason I wasn’t seeing him again. Heck he even asked me out on a third date and I declined it, mainly because of our differences rather than his apparent lack of interest- it’s what I said on this thread when I first updated it a couple of days ago with my decision to not proceed. I’m just saying that I also feel he was after a companion rather than a romantic partner anyway, so from no angle was this an appealing prospect for me to pursue. Edited August 28, 2023 by babybrowns Link to post Share on other sites
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