Kim7890 Posted August 2, 2023 Share Posted August 2, 2023 He hasn’t contacted me and acts like he doesn’t care He was definitely more invested it was LD yet we made a lot of time for each other and I just got back from seeing him. We were only going to be LD for 4 more months. Right when we started talking he was sending everybody pictures of me, showing his pastor, coworkers, friends everybody. He got sad cause I wasn’t doing the same ??? So he was already gassing me up. He told me he loved me first? I said it back cause I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. During our first fight he told everybody about it his parents his friends etc??? Like what ? His excuse was that he was hurt ? It was trust on my part so I told him several time LD let’s just be friends rn and then when we move closer we can get together? I told him we can still talk the same we just wouldn’t have any thing to worry about sense we’re so far away rn. He kept getting mad and suggesting that he wasn’t doing that and he wanted to be with me right now period. During are argument that broke us up. This is kinda how it went Me- I feel disrespected and I need time to think about all of this Him- how do you feel disrespected, stop babe I’m begging you don’t let this ruin us Me- no I’m over this Him - stop listen please Him- really after all the time we spent together, after you coming out here, I’ve never done all this for a woman. Him after I spent almost 2 thousand on you almost two weeks ago Me - no Im done just give me some space Him- stop I love you Him- I’m always the bad guy Him- come one babe stop we have something good Him- I’m sorry, I apologize please listen Me - I dont care about that right now Him- fine I’m not about to keep arguing with you and I’m not going to give you space, if you want to be done then fine we can be done. Me- fine I’m done, I hang up This was 4 days ago and no contact since then. Yet still kept me on socials which I deleted him off of everything Keep in mind this whole fight transpired over a girl who is his friend. I basically felt disrespected because he kept telling her about our arguments. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 2, 2023 Share Posted August 2, 2023 is this the same guy? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kim7890 Posted August 2, 2023 Author Share Posted August 2, 2023 31 minutes ago, basil67 said: is this the same guy? Nope completely different Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 2, 2023 Share Posted August 2, 2023 (edited) OK. Thanks for the clarification. He wasn't OK with taking a break and gave you an ultimatum. And you chose to end it. Now he's an ex and no longer has a reason to speak with you. What part of this do you find confusing? Also, does he know you've been poking around planning meetings with the other guy? Cause I think your boyfriend should have felt equally disrespected by you if he knew what you've just disclosed here. After all, you did put that post in the 'cheating, flirting and jealousy' section. Edited August 2, 2023 by basil67 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 2, 2023 Share Posted August 2, 2023 Why are you asking if he will come back? You told him it's done: 3 hours ago, Kim7890 said: Me- fine I’m done, I hang up You dumped him, so you got what you wanted. Unless you do this to play games and keep him on the hook? Because i can't see why would otherwise care that he's kept you on his socials, either. How old are you? Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted August 2, 2023 Share Posted August 2, 2023 This is a little confusing. You were firm with him, ended it when he refused to give you space. You told him you were done (rather coldly in fact) and deleted him off your socials. What do you want exactly? Were you expecting him to come chasing after you and begging? It seems like that it what you wanted but not what you got. Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted August 2, 2023 Share Posted August 2, 2023 Why would he come back? I hope not. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BrinnM Posted August 3, 2023 Share Posted August 3, 2023 What’s with all the question marks in your OP? Anyway - I get that you feel disrespected if he shares your intimate details & arguments with another female, even if she is his friend - but you put your foot down and “kind of” broke up. Which I completely understand & respect. He accepted your decision, or so it seems ….. if he has anything to say, he will, but what exactly are you expecting him to do? He already begged you to not throw the relationship in the trash. You did it anyway, and (probably) rightfully so. I know you want to make him act remorseful, and show you that he really loves you with some outrageously grand gestures, but it seems that ship has sailed and he’s done. Because he thinks that you’re done. Simple as that. If he’s got some self-respect, he will not backpedal. You’re the only one who can backpedal now & if you want to do this to yourself, go right ahead. You’ll be in a very weak position, if you decide to do so, though, so be prepared that this relationship won’t get stronger. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ageless Wisdom23 Posted August 3, 2023 Share Posted August 3, 2023 Move on. The chemistry is not there nor the trust. I see problems down the line with even more. You have eve4n now taken him off social media. Focus on you.😑 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted August 3, 2023 Share Posted August 3, 2023 As I mentioned in your other post, about another guy, what is your goal with these 2 guys you seem to have going at the same time? It's so confusing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kim7890 Posted August 4, 2023 Author Share Posted August 4, 2023 Update we talked and I found out he had sex with a woman not even a week after we ended things. He admitted to it and said he’s still talking to her but only did cause he was hurt and to feel a void. He told me he wants me and doesn’t want her. Then when I was crying he asked me “does it hurt, does it hurt” , “how bad am I hurting you “. Almost like he is saying all this to hurt me… anyways he’s blocked on everything for good 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 4, 2023 Share Posted August 4, 2023 33 minutes ago, Kim7890 said: I found out he had sex with a woman not even a week after we ended things . anyways he’s blocked on everything for good Good call. Sometimes guys like this stage breakups specifically to play the field under the guise of "we were on break". Try to avoid bozos like this in the future by reflecting on all the red flags. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted August 4, 2023 Share Posted August 4, 2023 1 hour ago, Kim7890 said: Update we talked and I found out he had sex with a woman not even a week after we ended things. He admitted to it and said he’s still talking to her but only did cause he was hurt and to feel a void. He told me he wants me and doesn’t want her. Then when I was crying he asked me “does it hurt, does it hurt” , “how bad am I hurting you “. Almost like he is saying all this to hurt me… anyways he’s blocked on everything for good I don't believe he has had sex with anyone else. He just wanted to hurt you. He just wanted to be cruel. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kim7890 Posted August 4, 2023 Author Share Posted August 4, 2023 18 minutes ago, JTSW said: I don't believe he has had sex with anyone else. He just wanted to hurt you. He just wanted to be cruel. Why though ? I’m the one that reached out…. why would he ask if this is hurting me ? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 4, 2023 Share Posted August 4, 2023 5 minutes ago, Kim7890 said: Why though ? I’m the one that reached out…. why would he ask if this is hurting me ? Clearly, it was in retaliation for your ultimatum of "take a break or end it". You showed him how little you value him, so he returned the favour 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 4, 2023 Share Posted August 4, 2023 2 hours ago, Kim7890 said: anyways he’s blocked on everything for good That sounds like a very wise decision. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted August 5, 2023 Share Posted August 5, 2023 What was the initial fight about over his female friend before all this transpired? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 5, 2023 Share Posted August 5, 2023 On 8/2/2023 at 12:34 AM, Kim7890 said: I told him several time LD let’s just be friends rn and then when we move closer we can get together? It's natural that he would move forward and date others. You've been rejecting him a lot, arguing and even fake breakups. Unfortunately, as you can see, you're incompatible and fake breakups backfire. All you can do is date locally and focus on sincerity. Just be confident and be yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted August 5, 2023 Share Posted August 5, 2023 Why would you want this person back? No discretion at all talking about your arguments with others or third parties. It was too volatile as well with the lovebombing on his part and then you being unimpressed with his lack of maturity. It appears you were starting to step back from this and he freaked out. In the same way he rushed into saying he loved you(doesn’t sound like it was mutual and you said it back just to be polite) he also rushed and spent $1000s apparently and then resented that. I’m not surprised he has a “void” he needs to fill! That’s an orange flag when someone is blindly sleeping with others to make up for loneliness. In future don’t bother backtracking on your decisions when you know it doesn’t feel right. You felt disrespected and wanted it to end. His words and tone seems very strange at the end asking if you were hurt. Delete this person from your contacts and socials. There is no point keeping in touch since you’ve now felt disrespected more than once. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kim7890 Posted August 5, 2023 Author Share Posted August 5, 2023 21 minutes ago, glows said: Why would you want this person back? No discretion at all talking about your arguments with others or third parties. It was too volatile as well with the lovebombing on his part and then you being unimpressed with his lack of maturity. It appears you were starting to step back from this and he freaked out. In the same way he rushed into saying he loved you(doesn’t sound like it was mutual and you said it back just to be polite) he also rushed and spent $1000s apparently and then resented that. I’m not surprised he has a “void” he needs to fill! That’s an orange flag when someone is blindly sleeping with others to make up for loneliness. In future don’t bother backtracking on your decisions when you know it doesn’t feel right. You felt disrespected and wanted it to end. His words and tone seems very strange at the end asking if you were hurt. Delete this person from your contacts and socials. There is no point keeping in touch since you’ve now felt disrespected more than once. Oh yes he’s deleted and blocked from everything. Why would he ask me if he’s hurtling me and how bad am I hurting? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 5, 2023 Share Posted August 5, 2023 6 minutes ago, Kim7890 said: Will he come back ? Do you want him to after all this happened? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 5, 2023 Share Posted August 5, 2023 10 minutes ago, Kim7890 said: Why would he ask me if he’s hurtling me and how bad am I hurting? This was answered above: 15 hours ago, basil67 said: t was in retaliation for your ultimatum of "take a break or end it". You showed him how little you value him, so he returned the favour Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kim7890 Posted August 5, 2023 Author Share Posted August 5, 2023 5 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Do you want him to after all this happened? Nope not after all of that Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted August 5, 2023 Share Posted August 5, 2023 (edited) 16 minutes ago, Kim7890 said: Oh yes he’s deleted and blocked from everything. Why would he ask me if he’s hurtling me and how bad am I hurting? Sometimes people blurt out things without thinking. He may have felt vindictive and bitter but those are things in your life you can do without. Try not to dwell on these details. The bigger issue is you didn’t feel the same way and felt disrespected due to lack of discretion. Edited August 5, 2023 by glows 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kim7890 Posted August 5, 2023 Author Share Posted August 5, 2023 There was also so many Erie things that happened when I first went down there to visit… He told his friends that if I wasn’t real that he was going to go to a bridge and jump off, I asked him why he said that and he said it’s “dark humor” Then he was driving on the wrong side of the road at dark time and cars where coming towards us and he said “oh crap my bad I’m so dumb” which I thought was scary Then we we’re headed to our destination and he some how parked on the wrong spot and we were walking nowhere while walking back a black car full of people started laughing aggressively. Then another car went by in the opposite direction about two minutes later and started laughing loud. Then a homeless man came behind us about a minute later I start laughing loud??? I found it Erie and started picking up signs… There was a lot more but I won’t get into that but it was strange Link to post Share on other sites
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