Girl stole my guy

[JulyAug]

Sooo, I liked a guy (hes white) who was on the same course as me at university and he studies in the computer room with me and my closest friends. Our group is all girls except one guy and we all are east asian. He was initially very quiet, barely spoke to us and I tried to befriend him as I liked him but he wouldn't get past a few sentences. He used to talk to my male friend though but not us women. However, one of my close friends told me that a girl she knew was saying that he was showing interest in that girl and she wanted to approach him. 

 

I got mad and told my friend to tell her that hes seeing someone and not to approach him as hes weird, possibly gay, and just an odd person who recently started dating someone. He had told me this once before when I tried to flirt with him but when I heard another student trying to hit on him, I didnt want her at all, near him.

 

My friend told her and the girl said she wont approach.

 

However, fast forward a few months, she DID approach him and we found out as my friends saw them together multiple times and i saw it myself when he left the table to go and sit with her as they were quarrelling before and wanted to talk things out.

 

Prior to this, he had complimented me in front of her saying how good I look when I came with my friend to have lunch in the student cafeteria. This girl was standing next to him and they were having issues that time. 

 

After that, he never made any comments on me but I thought he liked me so I began inviting him for drinks with me and my friends and lunch. He came for drinks but left early as this girl sent him a few texts and he got stressed and left. He declined coming for lunch as he said he was meeting a friend.

 

I kept trying to talk to him one on one and then decided to ask my friend to tell the girl again that hes seeing someone and she needs to stop talking to him. My friend did and the girl confronted him but they didn't stop talking.

 

My friend tried again and this time, the girl got mad and told her that she will tell him everything and eventually she did.

 

In the study room, he used to hang new monthly calendars where he would write when hes working, who hes meeting, names of friends hes meeting (all were women), meetings with lecturers . We had seen this calendar multiple times but after she told him, he didn't put up a new one and finally removed the calendar completely.

 

He didn't say anything to me or my friends but took down the calendar and my friend tried to talk to him, asking him how he was doing. The other girl was just next to her but she ignored her and went to him but he just replied hes ok and didn't ask my friend anything. My friend asked him if he wanted to sit with her and he declined saying he has work (he did have work though) and she didn't say anything and walked away.

 

This other girl literally ruined my chances of getting with him by forcing herself in between. Is there any other way I can get rid of her? I hate her so much, she has always been an obstacle between us. Once, I asked my friend to leave so that I can sit and talk with him while he was having lunch. He quickly got up after 5 minutes and she butted in saying hello to him and then he started talking to her and she came between us. He wouldn't ask her to leave and she wouldn't go either. It was so annoying.

 

 

 

What else can i do?

[Wiseman2]

Bullying other students and spreading rumors about boys isn't going to make you popular or get you dates. Talk to trusted adults and advisors about getting counseling to help your self esteem.

[JulyAug]

5 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Bullying other students and spreading rumors about boys isn't going to make you popular or get you dates. Talk to trusted adults and advisors about getting counseling to help your self esteem.

How did I bully? I just want her gone?

[Kassieee]

3 hours ago, JulyAug said:

How did I bully? I just want her gone?

Life doesn't work that way.

Find a new guy, there's so many out there.

[glows]

It was painful reading this - it looks like you are the one coming between a lovely couple and you have too much anger and jealousy.

Since you like him so much why can’t you respect that he wishes to date someone else or talk to another woman? 

The way you’re reacting currently shows how little you care or how little you respect this man. 

You may also find yourself friendless after your friends realize they’re doing a lot of mean and senseless favours for you. I understand you like this guy but practice some respect for others. Maybe you will find yourself attracting that same respect back where people genuinely want to know you and talk with you.

[JulyAug]

24 minutes ago, glows said:

It was painful reading this - it looks like you are the one coming between a lovely couple and you have too much anger and jealousy.

Since you like him so much why can’t you respect that he wishes to date someone else or talk to another woman? 

The way you’re reacting currently shows how little you care or how little you respect this man. 

You may also find yourself friendless after your friends realize they’re doing a lot of mean and senseless favours for you. I understand you like this guy but practice some respect for others. Maybe you will find yourself attracting that same respect back where people genuinely want to know you and talk with you.

They all support me and keep watching the girl because of what she's done

[stillafool]

The other girl didn't make you lose you chance with him, he didn't want you, he wanted her.  Time and time again you tried to keep him from pursuing her with your lies; but they backfired on you and he still went to her because she is the one he wants, not you.  It's time for you to back off and get interested in another guy.  Stop talking about how you want this girl gone or someone may take it the wrong way and contact the authorities.

[JulyAug]

10 minutes ago, stillafool said:

The other girl didn't make you lose you chance with him, he didn't want you, he wanted her.  Time and time again you tried to keep him from pursuing her with your lies; but they backfired on you and he still went to her because she is the one he wants, not you.  It's time for you to back off and get interested in another guy.  Stop talking about how you want this girl gone or someone may take it the wrong way and contact the authorities.b

Then why was he telling me how good I look

[stillafool]

28 minutes ago, JulyAug said:

Then why was he telling me how good I look

It was just a compliment.  Maybe you were dressed well that day.  Point is, he isn't pursuing you, he's pursuing her.

[Els]

A person isn't an object. You can't "steal" a person against their will, obviously he went willingly.

Stop obsessing over him and move on.

[JulyAug]

8 minutes ago, stillafool said:

It was just a compliment.  Maybe you were dressed well that day.  Point is, he isn't pursuing you, he's pursuing her.

She was standing next to him

[Ageless Wisdom23]

The way I looked at this Was-------He was up for grabs with anyone.  He was never yours to begin with.  And it appears he really does like Her, But they seem to have problems at times.  That is telling me they could become a couple down the line.  The chemistry must be right.  Please, End the jealousy.  It is a Dog Eat Dog world out there.😉

Edited August 6, 2023 by Ageless Wisdom23

[LynneVicious]

9 minutes ago, JulyAug said:

She was standing next to him

So?

[Alpacalia]

Well, I think you should probably think that the guy was not right for you. Before you start blaming this other female, did you not think about the guy? He was showing interest in other girls, leaving the table to talk with other girls. Not you. It sounds like the girl is making it difficult for you to interact with your crush. Unfortunately, there really isn't much you can do that doesn't come off as a tad aggressive or desperate. Just enjoy your life and forgive this other female as she is not at all fault.

[JulyAug]

16 minutes ago, Ageless Wisdom23 said:

The way I looked at this Was-------He was up for grabs with anyone.  He was never yours to begin with.  And it appears he really does like Her, But they seem to have problems at times.  That is telling me they could become a couple down the line.  The chemistry must be right.  Please, End the jealousy.  It is a Dog Eat Dog world out there.😉

How can you say the chemistry is right?

[JulyAug]

16 minutes ago, LynneVicious said:

So?

He said that in front of her so it's to make her feel bad

[stillafool]

3 hours ago, JulyAug said:

She was standing next to him

So what?  I've complimented men right in front of my husband.  He still loves me.

[stillafool]

2 hours ago, JulyAug said:

He said that in front of her so it's to make her feel bad

That is very doubtful.

[Alvi]

He is not that interested in you, period. This has nothing to do with this other girl.

But look at the bright side. He is not the last man left on this planet. You are going to university and are probably surrounded by other guys. So, there are more than likely million of other's opportunities for you to date out there.

[stillafool]

2 hours ago, JulyAug said:

How can you say the chemistry is right?

Because he's chasing her and she isn't resisting.  Your plan to keep her away from him failed.  The chemistry between them won't let them stay apart.

[JulyAug]

1 hour ago, stillafool said:

Because he's chasing her and she isn't resisting.  Your plan to keep her away from him failed.  The chemistry between them won't let them stay apart.

What chemistry? There's none amd yes she was there next to him

[Lisa]

OP's question has been thoroughly and unanimously answered

[JulyAug]

If he has a girlfriend then why isn't he telling the girl he wanted to sleep with that he's taken? She asked him to see a romance novel show and though he made an excuse to not go , citing expenses, he didnt tell her off nor did he say that he saw with his gf when he has seen it with his gf.

Instead thanked her for inviting him and said its expensive and etc but left out that he had a gf and he saw it with her and didn't even tell her off.

 

He hasn't removed her from.his contacts too.

 

He knows she likes him and wants a romantic relationship but he isn't telling her off?

[stillafool]

Maybe he doesn't want to hurt the girls feelings.  Most guys don't like to hurt girls feelings so they omit info or lie.  One thing is for certain gf or no gf, he's not interested because the girl is offering herself on a platter and he's not biting.

[Ageless Wisdom23]

This guy wants his cake and eat it Two.  Who can trust  someone like this?🤨