Rejection.

[basil67]

10 minutes ago, justaskingok said:

He already asked me, when we met up.. why I cant be upfront with him.that's brutal. So I have to stop from now.

I’m glad he found a way to contact you. 

But what do you mean when you say that you can’t be upfront with him? And what do you have to stop?

[Ageless Wisdom23]

I would, Yes.  I would assume they are taken or maybe just wish to keep it on the dance floor.😐

[JTSW]

OP, I really like you but you confuse the hell out of me lol.

I definitely know that you very recently mentioned that you were dating someone,

But in your mind there are a myriad of guys that like you and there is always someone that come's on to you at parties/functions.

But now that there is a guy who actually seems genuinely interested, you feel need to push him away because he asked why you can't be upfront with him.

Wtf?

Why CAN'T you just be upfront and honest with people?

What you're doing is beyond confusing and you will never have any kind of meaningful relationship this way.

Playing to hard to get is very unattractive and off putting for both men and women.

Your whole way of thinking is wrong.

 

[Wiseman2]

6 hours ago, justaskingok said:

. He texted me, i called him and we made plans right away

 How was the date? You must have been really eager to see him. Will there be a second date?

[Kassieee]

2 hours ago, JTSW said:

OP, I really like you but you confuse the hell out of me lol.

I definitely know that you very recently mentioned that you were dating someone,

But in your mind there are a myriad of guys that like you and there is always someone that come's on to you at parties/functions.

But now that there is a guy who actually seems genuinely interested, you feel need to push him away because he asked why you can't be upfront with him.

Wtf?

Why CAN'T you just be upfront and honest with people?

What you're doing is beyond confusing and you will never have any kind of meaningful relationship this way.

Playing to hard to get is very unattractive and off putting for both men and women.

Your whole way of thinking is wrong.

 

I am dating people, I can't put all my eggs in one basket though. I'm not in a relationship. 

I didn't push him away when he asked me why I cant be up front with him- he asked me that yesterday when we met up-  Not the first night I met him.

I thought some guys like when you are hard to get or play it cool???? I'm mostly direct, if I want something, or interested in someone I'll even make the moves, no games-  I was told on here I come as desperate. 

6 hours ago, basil67 said:

I’m glad he found a way to contact you. 

But what do you mean when you say that you can’t be upfront with him? And what do you have to stop?

He asked me why I cant be upfront with him. I'm saying I need to stop being like that. 

There are somethings I'm hesitant to tell him, if it gets too personal. I made a thread a long while asking if it's a must to tell someone right off the bat absolutely everything about you. Well this is an example where it gets hard for me. And he's catching on to it already. 

[Kassieee]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

 How was the date? You must have been really eager to see him. Will there be a second date?

We were both eagered. we went to an arcade place like Dave and busters. But we just had enough time to eat because we got there too late. So we made plans to go back there again to play some games. 

[NuevoYorko]

Even the way you post on here is usually lame game playing.  You'll throw out some cryptic "bait" and see what kind of responses you get.  Then you just bail on the topic and do it again the next day.   

This is not the way to be an authentic person.  

[Alpacalia]

2 hours ago, justaskingok said:

I am dating people, I can't put all my eggs in one basket though. I'm not in a relationship. 

Well then it wouldn't make sense that you wouldn't give him you're telephone number so you're whole rationale is a bit questionable.

[Ray_xx]

On 8/6/2023 at 3:55 PM, ShyViolet said:

I'm so confused just reading this.  I can only imagine how confused the guy must have been.  Were you interested in the guy or not?  If you wanted to keep in touch, then just give the guy your number.  Stop playing games.

This is the problem with society - they are all game players!! such a childish question ''playing hard to get''

[Alpacalia]

1 hour ago, NuevoYorko said:

Even the way you post on here is usually lame game playing.  You'll throw out some cryptic "bait" and see what kind of responses you get.  Then you just bail on the topic and do it again the next day.   

This is not the way to be an authentic person.  

Agree.

It seems like you're more focused on trying to get a reaction rather than engaging in productive dialogue. Now you're going to come in with the weepy eyes. You have come across as manipulative, and it's not a good look. If you're multi-dating, which there's nothing wrong if that's what you choose to do, there is no reason that you would NOT give him your telephone number after he asked since you do not want to "put all your eggs in one basket" if you're also dating other people.

If you're not sure you want to give someone your telephone number, then politely decline and move on. Stomping your feet wondering if they're going to perceive it as rejection or hard to get after the fact signals that you have ill intentions.

None of your posts indicate that you're trying to determine your interest in him, which is what you should be doing, but instead you're looking to ascertain whether or not you declining him is interpreted as a rejection or hard to get. If you're looking to leave him on the fence and make him guess if you're into him or not, that is manipulation.

Clearly you were interested since you went out with him later on. I think you need to get your head out of the clouds and pretending that you're not interested in someone you obviously are interested in is counter-productive and really sends the wrong message.

[Kassieee]

1 hour ago, NuevoYorko said:

Even the way you post on here is usually lame game playing.  You'll throw out some cryptic "bait" and see what kind of responses you get.  Then you just bail on the topic and do it again the next day.   

This is not the way to be an authentic person.  

That's not my intentions. I think I just suck at articulating myself. If you can point out what you think is bait and I'll try better to explain. Appreciate your insight still!!

[JTSW]

6 hours ago, justaskingok said:

I thought some guys like when you are hard to get or play it cool????

These days not many people like it.

I have many male friends that I've learned allot from over the years like they don't like a woman who messes them around.

Allot of men actually like women to be direct and straight up.

Why do you want to stop with this guy if he genuinely likes you?

[Kassieee]

5 hours ago, JTSW said:

These days not many people like it.

I have many male friends that I've learned allot from over the years like they don't like a woman who messes them around.

Allot of men actually like women to be direct and straight up.

Why do you want to stop with this guy if he genuinely likes you?

That night I first met him I was just being wacky with my thought process. 

I don't want to stop with him we already met up, we might be hanging out tonight again with my friends to play pool, maybe. But we for sure have plans to go back to the arcade place just the two of us.

[Wiseman2]

3 minutes ago, justaskingok said:

 we might be hanging out tonight again with my friends to play pool, maybe. 

Maybe your instincts are correct that he's just looking for hookups with all the last minute maybe dates.

[Kassieee]

41 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Maybe your instincts are correct that he's just looking for hookups with all the last minute maybe dates.

My instincts are not telling me that, what gave you that impression i was thinking that? 

What all maybe dates do you speak of? Our first meet up, he came. Today isn't suppose to be a date, I told him what I was up to, that I was might be going to play pool with my friends and that he could come if i end up going that id let him know. It's only maybe because I'm exhausted and desperately need to catch up on some sleep.

By hookups do you mean hes just looking to hookup for sexual things? 

[JTSW]

7 hours ago, justaskingok said:

I don't want to stop with him we already met up, we might be hanging out tonight again with my friends to play pool, maybe. But we for sure have plans to go back to the arcade place just the two of us.

That sounds cool.

Just relax and enjoy yourself.

Go with the flow