GF ghosting [combined threads]

[ChatroomHero]

7 hours ago, JTSW said:

Trust be, women wont do a complete 180 just because you left the cap off something.

You are thinking unrealistically and attributing it to materialistic things.

I notice you are also laying the blame with the women rather than considering that there is something that you do that instantly puts them off.

Hence why you should consult with a councillor to figure this out, or you will never know what it is and how to avoid it.

I wouldn't say instantly on the last one. This one was about 6 months, we were very close. She absolutely did a 180. Never had a fight or disagreement until then. We enjoyed the same things, saw each other often and had fun all the way up until the last day I saw her. I was kind, decent and helpful to her. I was laid back and didn't push her to see me more. She was very attentive and caring up until the last night and then immediately refused to talk or meet after that and would not give any reason. I can say with the last one, there is not one thing I would or should do differently. It's one thing if it's after a couple of dates and nothing invested, but this one we did a lot of things together and also with her friends and family. We were talking about planning a trip with just the two of us in the next couple of weeks. So the last one I blame, the previous ones I don't blame.

I just know things like that happen and I don't know that I am necessarily doing anything wrong to elicit that reaction. One girl I was dating casually, started off agreeing to be casual, she wasn't ready for a relationship. She had reached out to me and asked me out initially. We saw each other for a while, no strings and one day she said she wanted to get more serious than just casual and asked if I would consider it. I said I would be open to it and we should discuss it. At that point she didn't text me back. About a week later I messaged her that she hadn't responded to my texts (she responded pretty immediately previously) and I would stop texting her but if she ever wanted to reach out, I would be open to it. She texted me back a day later, in all caps, verbatim, "DON'T EVER STOP TEXTING ME". I messaged her 2-3 times after that asking to get together, never got a response. She told me what she wanted, I agreed to talk about it, she ghosted. I called her on her ghosting and she told me to keep texting her. So I did, then she ghosted again. I'd call that a 180 and there's nothing a counselor could tell me about that. We had a great time together up until then, she even had overnight stuff for when she would stay and go to work, so we weren't exactly strangers.

I am not shirking the blame, I just know with 0 feedback and one day fine and sleeping together to literally the next day ghosting, I have nothing to go on. I don't know.

 

[ChatroomHero]

On 8/17/2023 at 4:31 PM, Ageless Wisdom23 said:

I feel it is rude of her to just Ghost you like this.  Maybe she is trying to find a reason to tell you it is time you both slow down in this relationship.  She may not be ready.  On the other Hand, If she got up with her Ex to help move things for Her, They may have had a talk about things that she is not ready to tell you.  Wait to see if she replies to you.  I'd be ready for whatever.....😦

I got the reply, basically, you are great...for someone else. I don't think it was her ex directly, other than he had the potential to make things more difficult if he knew it was serious. The only thing I have to go by ultimately is she wouldn't call me or see me and slow faded via text and appeared completely unemotional. That hurts the most, we did a lot of things together and were close and then 'poof', I am like a stranger to her. Someone I dated for 1/2 a year exclusively and said I loved, I would never just ghost and act like they were less emotionally tied to them than they were to the cashier at the supermarket. The thing is, I know she knows she could have just called or met me and told me and it would have been relaxed and not difficult. The fact that she intentionally made it clear how little I meant to her, destroys me considering months of saying and showing me the opposite.

I ended up replying to her I didn't get it but not my call and I would delete her number and move on. It just sucks, I'm so lost and I don't know how I can interpret it and move on but I don't really have a choice.