Is this obnoxious of me?

[Kassieee]

If I'm gifted something by a guy...I tend to ask a lot of questions.

For example, if I get gifted a necklace with color in it- I want know why he chose that colour- I want to know his whole thought process. 

Is anyone else like this? 

Do men find this annoying?

Edited August 11, 2023 by justaskingok

[NuevoYorko]

"Men" are not a block.  Some men would find it annoying.   I would definitely prefer a heartfelt thanks rather than to be grilled about the gift.  

[Gaeta]

16 minutes ago, justaskingok said:

For example, if I get gifted a necklace with color in it- I want know why he chose that colour- I want to know his whole thought process. 

What's the reason behind that? Do you doubt him?

[Kassieee]

9 minutes ago, NuevoYorko said:

"Men" are not a block.  Some men would find it annoying.   I would definitely prefer a heartfelt thanks rather than to be grilled about the gift.  

 

Oh. I'm so grateful and thankful....I just find it intriguing and cute what men think you would like. 

Edited August 11, 2023 by justaskingok

[NuevoYorko]

7 minutes ago, justaskingok said:

 

Oh. I'm so grateful and thankful....I just find it intriguing and cute what men think you would like. 

It would really come off as questioning the gift.  Bad manners.

[Kassieee]

Just now, NuevoYorko said:

It would really come off as questioning the gift.  Bad manners.

Even if my vibe is all smiles, thrilled and happy? 

[Kassieee]

12 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

What's the reason behind that? Do you doubt him?

There's no doubt. More so just intrigued. Especially if it's a spontaneous gift.

[Gaeta]

14 minutes ago, justaskingok said:

There's no doubt. More so just intrigued. Especially if it's a spontaneous gift.

If you do a spontaneous gift, and the person did that to you, would you find it annoying?

Because if l do a spontaneous gift and it's blue, it might just be that it was the only color available lol. There was no thought process behind it. 

[Kassieee]

2 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

If you do a spontaneous gift, and the person did that to you, would you find it annoying?

Because if l do a spontaneous gift and it's blue, it might just be that it was the only color available lol. There was no thought process behind it. 

I wouldn't mind being asked because when I gift someone something I put thought into it. If it's a spontaneous gift I randomly picked up because I thought you'd like it, there's obviously a reason why I thought that particular piece called out to me, for you.

 

 

[Versacehottie]

43 minutes ago, justaskingok said:

Even if my vibe is all smiles, thrilled and happy? 

Idk, first like Nuevo said people/guys are different. They don't all operate the same way. And the context could be different among different sets of people. Here's the thing, I know you are "curious" type of person but sometimes you ask questions so vaguely, you won't really be able to get a valid and applicable answer out of the forum. If there's a real situation, to which you can give more details, you will probably get a more accurate read IMO.  

Ok that said, like several people said it could come off annoying and rude, even if you have a neutral expression. I think the other side of the coin is that if you ask a ton of questions for a spontaneous gift even with a smile, you almost make it like you are undeserving of the gift, like you've never received one at all. It also can come off like you are trying too hard or trying to force things to advance the relationship. Like you are neurotic and a black hole of neediness--haha I'm just saying but yeah asking "how did you pick this color, etc" is like begging for more of the emotions that propelled the guy to buy the present and he probably is thinking "just give it a rest, why are you fishing for more compliments? Just accept the gift like a girl who deserves and is used to being treated specially."  Also I think there is an element of just letting a person be himself and give a gift in the way he wants, let it unfold and him express (or not) why/what/how in his own manner. Idk, I think you need to "let" people be themselves..especially in a situation like this where it's a good thing that a person is doing this. Obviously I'm not saying to cut off communication or praise or sincere thanks, but let it unfold on his schedule a bit more and let him take the lead if you want deeper reasoning. Trying too hard rarely goes over well.

[mark clemson]

It's fine IMO to have a friendly conversation about a gift, so long as it doesn't start to feel like an "interrogation".

That said, indeed men are not all the same, and so some might find it off-putting.

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, justaskingok said:

 I get gifted a necklace with color in it- I want know why he chose that colour.

Did you like the necklace? It's fine to say "what made you pick this color?". What was his reply?

Edited August 11, 2023 by Wiseman2

[flitzanu]

if gifts are being met with questions and interrogation, it is highly likely that you'll stop getting gifts because it isn't worth the hassle and drama of having to explain oneself.

so, yeah. it can come off as incredibly annoying and entitled, regardless of smiling about it.

[MsJayne]

What made you ask? Is it a colour you don't like, or does it have a stone in it that has no meaning for you? 

[glows]

I think if you have to ask you probably don’t know one another very well for that kind of gift. When I had jewellery gifted to me I knew why the person picked out something and it was due to a conversation we had in the past or a comment I might have made. He/she actually listened and this happened across all previous relationships so I don’t know know what to tell you there. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with asking from a curious perspective. I’d more wonder why the person gifted a potentially overly expensive gift if we don’t know each other very well. I read this as type of gold or specific gems.

[Versacehottie]

another way to look at things as well is imagine same scenario:: guy gives you a gift. You say you like it so much/so thoughtful/so pretty....but then he keeps pressing you to say more and more...Wouldn't you feel like it was a bottomless pit of neediness at a certain point? Like all gifts have meaning, but maybe he would be attaching more meaning or hopeful about MORE meaning being attached in that scenario....Ok now apply that to you with no limits on asking--even with a huge smile on your face--why/how he came about that gift for you...it's the same thing just reversed. 

Idk I would accept it with confidence (in general) and then hopefully you can tailor that to your specific guy. I also think it's important in any conversation to know who you are interacting with...presumably if you are dating this guy, you'd know enough about him to venture a guess on which style of gratitude would be most suited to him/and your relationship that you have with each other.

[Alpacalia]

Reminds me of asking someone after sex if they enjoyed it. Just. Don't. Go. There.

A simple "thank you" and a genuine smile can go a long way in showing the gift-giver how much you appreciate their kindness. Unless it's like glow mentioned where it's someone that you don't really know or it's in a business setting then that changes things of course.

[Kassieee]

3 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Did you like the necklace? It's fine to say "what made you pick this color?". What was his reply?

I'm just like this in general.

One time a boyfriend for our first Xmas together he bought me a bamboo plant, mind you I was a teenager at this time- I was NOT into plants at all, so i found it interesting that he thought of a plant as a gift for me. So I asked and he told me apparently these particular bamboo plants had meaning....it represented respect love and other things. It was so sweet and thoughtful.

[Alpacalia]

6 minutes ago, justaskingok said:

One time a boyfriend for our first Xmas together he bought me a bamboo plant, mind you I was a teenager at this time- I was NOT into plants at all, so i found it interesting that he thought of a plant as a gift for me. So I asked and he told me apparently these particular bamboo plants had meaning....it represented respect love and other things. It was so sweet and thoughtful.

Clearly you know the difference that that wouldn't be considered obnoxious.

[Kassieee]

2 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

Clearly you know the difference that that wouldn't be considered obnoxious.

That's not taking the gift and saying a simple thank you though.

[Alpacalia]

5 minutes ago, justaskingok said:

That's not taking the gift and saying a simple thank you though.

Well, that was a very sweet gift given to you. I understand why you thought so.

[NuevoYorko]

5 hours ago, Gaeta said:

If you do a spontaneous gift, and the person did that to you, would you find it annoying?

Because if l do a spontaneous gift and it's blue, it might just be that it was the only color available lol. There was no thought process behind it. 

Yes, and if he says that, it's obviously going to "flunk" whatever test was happening.   Many guys buy gifts because ... a salesperson said "all girls like this."  Or something else impersonal.  In general, I think men are flummoxed with gift buying.

[Alpacalia]

One guy my friend dated purchased her a spare car battery, flares and some type of emergency kit for her car. She was a bit taken aback, but then realized it was his way of saying he wanted her to always remember him when her car broke down!

Talk about a sweet ride or die relationship.

[Kassieee]

5 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

One guy my friend dated purchased her a spare car battery, flares and some type of emergency kit for her car. She was a bit taken aback, but then realized it was his way of saying he wanted her to always remember him when her car broke down!

Talk about a sweet ride or die relationship.

That's a good one. That is smart. I would rather hear him say it for himself instead of assuming why though 

I would've assumed it was because he wanted me to be set just incase of an emergency, not because he wants me to remember him when my car broke down. That's why you must ask.

[basil67]

I can't speak for men, but I'd find it annoying.  Especially if I had been unable to think of a good gift and finally settled on something just to get the job done.

 

Edited August 11, 2023 by basil67