Can Someone Explain What Happened? She Vanished.

[stillafool]

10 hours ago, Heartbreat said:

I'm young too.

Then you must also think 30 year old women are young too, so why not get a woman your age who is ready for marriage and babies? 

[Wiseman2]

11 hours ago, Heartbreat said:

. She could always create another OkCupid profile sometime down the line. 

Why not get a good profile and pics on quality dating apps and start talking to and meeting women interested in you? It's better than trying to hunt this college girl down.

[Heartbreat]

Stop suggesting that I date women in their 30s. Not happening

 

This young woman and I had something going. We'll never know what happened to change that. Hopefully, she didn't do something that she'll regret by getting involved with one of the low-quality males in her area, but I think it was more about her not feeling comfortable on that site. 

[JTSW]

11 minutes ago, Heartbreat said:

Stop suggesting that I date women in their 30s. Not happening

Why?

Because you like them really young?

Bit pervy don't you think?

12 minutes ago, Heartbreat said:

This young woman and I had something going. We'll never know what happened to change that. Hopefully, she didn't do something that she'll regret by getting involved with one of the low-quality males in her area, but I think it was more about her not feeling comfortable on that site. 

It's none of your business what she does or who she dates.

She's not your property and wants nothing to do with you.

You have no idea why she deleted her profile and it's not your business.

[ExpatInItaly]

43 minutes ago, Heartbreat said:

This young woman and I had something going.

Not really. You chatted a bit. That was it. 

43 minutes ago, Heartbreat said:

Stop suggesting that I date women in their 30s. Not happening

Then don't pout when you realize very young women are not interersted in you. 

[Will am I]

@Heartbeat

Your dating problem is probably this:

1. you're 33.

2. you have your mind set on significantly younger women (aged between high school graduation and B.Sc.)

3. your mind is on marriage and procreation

 

On 8/14/2023 at 3:46 PM, Heartbreat said:

I saw her as a good fit for a wife. She could bear our children

I don't know your background. It occurs to me that maybe you are from another culture. But in western Europe and north America most women around 20 would get totally creeped with the idea of getting married and pregnant anytime soon. I'd say in particular those who attend higher education. Study and party time until 23 or 25, next few years establish a career and only from that phase there would be room for a permanent relationship. In cities with expensive housing market the ages stretch even further because establishing their own life takes longer.

 

Then a word on the age gap you are pursuing. There is an unspoken social norm that seems to summarize as "half + 7". This would make it socially acceptable for you to be with a partner between 23 and 52. I do recognize that some people are more "age fluid". I have been romantically involved with large age gaps. My girlfriend before marriage was significantly older than me (our ages were similar to what you are aiming for but the other way around). And there has been an affair with a woman in her twenties when I was way older.

There are common denominators. Young people need their reason to be attracted to the prospect of a much older partner, because generally they are not. I believe that these reasons often have to do with some sort of childhood or youth trauma. The older partner represents a safe place; it's not an equal and balanced relationship and ultimately when the younger partner overcomes his or her struggles the relationship does not fit well anymore. Another common denominator: the commitment is not at the level needed to establish a marriage. I wouldn't go as far as to downplay the relationshp as "playing around" because that would misrepresent the very real feelings I had for my ex. But I was definitely not in "marriage mode" (like give up on the partying, commit to spend all your time and attention on your partner, work an extra job, spend the money on furniture at ikea... those things were not high on my list at the time).

Edited August 16, 2023 by Will am I

[JTSW]

Women at that young age are not interested in getting married and having babies right away.

They are more interested in going out partying and travelling with their friends.

OP, you have a very warped idea about very young women.

[Heartbreat]

I had her in my clutches, but that's fine. Money solves a lot of problems. I just have to either win this contest or find another way to win a few million within the next couple of years, and I'll be able to use my influence to reclaim her. 

[Heartbreat]

15 minutes ago, Will am I said:

@Heartbeat

Your dating problem is probably this:

1. you're 33.

2. you have your mind set on significantly younger women (aged between high school graduation and B.Sc.)

3. your mind is on marriage and procreation

 

I don't know your background. It occurs to me that maybe you are from another culture. But in western Europe and north America most women around 20 would get totally creeped with the idea of getting married and pregnant anytime soon.

 

I wasn't being serious with the bit about procreation. I'm from the United States, but there were too many cliches in your post, so I truncated it. I tried to protect this young woman from the inanity of the Generation Z "men" out there, but she's going to have to learn for herself now. It sucks that so many of them insist on learning the hard way. 

[Will am I]

9 minutes ago, Heartbreat said:

protect this young woman from the inanity of the Generation Z "men" out there

Do you see yourself as a saviour and the woman as a person in need of saving?

[JTSW]

10 minutes ago, Heartbreat said:

It sucks that so many of them insist on learning the hard way. 

No, they just simply don't want anything to do with you.

[Will am I]

13 minutes ago, Heartbreat said:

or find another way to win a few million within the next couple of years, and I'll be able to use my influence to reclaim her

These words ... 

They seem to express a certain way of thinking about women. Like they're a prize to be picked up by whoever is hot enough or rich enough. This line of thought contradicts the idea that a woman is actually a person with her own decision making skills. 

She doesn't need protection against the men in her own age group. If she likes them, she may choose to date them.