Eldude Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 (edited) I met this girl at a get together with a mutual friend. | didn't really talk to her except for making her giggle when i said something dumb. i tried to ask my friend about her after as to give him a hint that i found her cute so he would invite us both to other activities, but he saw it as me trying to ask him for her number. So he asks her if its ok to give me her number and she said no because she didn't remember me and felt weird just giving it out like that. She also told him i should've manned up and [ ] just ask her directly next time i see her. Well she said it in a much nicer way lol. Now its gonna be a little akward next time i see her and try to talk to her im already a shy dude and this just amplified that. What can i say to her next time i see her? Edited August 17, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 4 minutes ago, Eldude said: . What can i say to her next time i see her? Please keep third parties out of it for the reasons you mentioned. If you like someone, be approachable, smile, say hi make small talk and eventually ask them out for coffee or something. Don't ask friends or ask for numbers. It can come off as creepy. Just be friendly and easy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Eldude Posted August 17, 2023 Author Share Posted August 17, 2023 I wasnt trying to get her number from him. I was just trying to have my friend have us hang out together more so i could talk to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 If you see her again, don't dwell on the awkwardness or mention the past. A few times contact has tried to be established with me after seeing my profile on my friends'/family socials. They asked my friends/family to ask me first if it's ok for them to connect with me online instead of them directly contacting me. Getting someone's telephone number from a mutual friend is a bit too invasive. If you want to talk to this girl again, approach her in a friendly and courteous manner. Just start by saying hello and reintroduce yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 22 minutes ago, Eldude said: I was just trying to have my friend have us hang out together more so i could talk to her. Keep friends out of it. It's really that simple. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 IMO, you just need to OWN it ..what's done is done now and the most confident thing you can do is be self-deprecating about it the next time you see her. I cannot explain well here (especially bc this stuff comes more naturally to me and it is best in the moment rather than overly planned out) but yeah sort of make fun of yourself or the situation...a touch...just to get over that initial awkwardness when you first see her. Being able to laugh at yourself or the situation, will allow her to see that you don't take yourself that seriously and have confidence to effectively try again like it's no big deal and that you don't see it as a rejection...Taking the counterintuitive way ends up producing the result you want (most likely, unless she's a stuck up b*tch and then who wants to date her anyway!)....Part of the joking can be to start gently and in a funny, friendly way throw your mutual guy friend under the bus....which also gives you a chance to (without explaining it seriously!) tell her how it came about that she was asked to pass along her number...I would definitely make a similar joke about what sort of info you cannot trust that guy with bc he's runs with it and takes it too far....see? Anyway, definitely if this is all too hard, you can say hi, but I say rip off the bandaid and address it head on. BTW, I know a few couples who got together in a similar way, ie some misunderstanding, meddling from mutual friends, and quick rocky beginning (ie a sentence or two) and then went well from there. Each of the guys handled it pretty much like I'm telling you to. If a guy acts too scared like she's fragile on a pedestal, IMO generally the girl won't be interested..If you act like it was a comedy of errors in which you humbly look silly but own it and still think she's cute, it goes a long way. Conveys tons of confidence! good luck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 Don't worry about it, it's pretty normal to ask questions about someone you find attractive. If she doesn't remember you she'll probably have forgotten all about it by the next time you encounter her, so just make yourself known to her next time and ask for her number yourself, leave your big-mouth buddy out of it. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 Carry on and reintroduce yourself. She forgot about you. Don’t worry about this. Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 It doesn't matter now. No point in bringing it up again, unless she mentions it. In which case, just tell her that you just wanted to get to know her better. That's all. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 You need to stop "hinting" and man up...not just with her but with your friend too or anyone else. You want answers be direct. Confidence wins the girl. You just go right up to her and say that your friend was being total dork, but be funny about it. tell her you just mentioned that you thought she was cute. Then proceed to ask her questions like does she have a BF, slide in a compliment, etc. Have her laughing/engaged. Then when it's time to move on ask her for her number. Got to be smooth or you get nowhere. Link to post Share on other sites
Kassieee Posted August 17, 2023 Share Posted August 17, 2023 You're a shy person, it's not easy to get out of your shell and put yourself out there. It's ok to have your friends help you out and break the ice- friends do it all the time for eachother. Maybe your friend can reintroduced you two, but you have to go from there. Link to post Share on other sites
Bue-aidez Posted August 18, 2023 Share Posted August 18, 2023 23 hours ago, Eldude said: I met this girl at a get together with a mutual friend. | didn't really talk to her except for making her giggle when i said something dumb. i tried to ask my friend about her after as to give him a hint that i found her cute so he would invite us both to other activities, but he saw it as me trying to ask him for her number. So he asks her if its ok to give me her number and she said no because she didn't remember me and felt weird just giving it out like that. She also told him i should've manned up and [ ] just ask her directly next time i see her. Well she said it in a much nicer way lol. Now its gonna be a little akward next time i see her and try to talk to her im already a shy dude and this just amplified that. What can i say to her next time i see her? Talking about it makes it less awkward, just mention what happened to her, laugh about it, it'll become less serious too 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted August 18, 2023 Share Posted August 18, 2023 Yeah don't worry about. Not everyone is so uptight and meets at strict avenues like monk conventions. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted August 18, 2023 Share Posted August 18, 2023 On 8/17/2023 at 3:26 AM, Eldude said: What can i say to her next time i see her? Ignore her. She sounds too arrogant and on her high horse, not the kind of girl you'd want to be with. If you're shy or a (very) reserved kind of guy, it's better if you find a girl attracted to that kind of personality or intrigued by that at least. You dodged a bullet. There's a chance she will bring up the fact that you didn't ask for her number the first time you met her. In which case, you could simply answer with "That was X's idea, had I wanted your number, I would have asked it to you" (where X is the name of your "friend"). That's not a lie, but the truth, as you didn't want her number, you wouldn't have minded another chance to meet her. But I guess now you know better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
princessaurora Posted August 18, 2023 Share Posted August 18, 2023 I had a similar situation years ago where I met a guy briefly at a party off campus. I was with another guy so I couldn't talk to him for long. A few days later a girl from my dorm attended a group dinner he was also at and as soon as she came back she runs down the hall to tell me he couldn't stop talking about me. Shortly after that, he calls me and I told him "so I heard you talked about me at dinner the other night" and he said "yeah, I did because your're cool and hot! " I was impressed he didn't try to downplay or water down the information like so many other dudes would have and he didn't try to deflect it onto the girl who ratted him out, but just owned it himself without batting an eyelash. His extreme confidence made me even more attracted to him than I already was and I was already mega attracted. BTW, that guy has been my husband for over 20 years now. 🥰 Now, your case is a little different because your friend tacked on false information that if confronted, you need to correct. The girl already sounds a bit cocky as it is, so you need to be prepared for her feisty attitude and ready to throw it back at her. So if she confronts you, tell her " yeah, I think you're cute so I asked him to arrange another group hang so I coud see you again, but I didn't ask for your number. He added that bit himself. " And if you really want to knock her off her high horse you could add " If I decide I want your number, I'll ask for it myself. " Boy I'd love to see the look on her face if you said that to her! 🫢 But definitely at minimum tell her what your intentions were and make sure she knows your friend added his own spin before he went to her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted August 18, 2023 Share Posted August 18, 2023 (edited) 1 hour ago, princessaurora said: I had a similar situation years ago where I met a guy briefly at a party off campus. I was with another guy so I couldn't talk to him for long. A few days later a girl from my dorm attended a group dinner he was also at and as soon as she came back she runs down the hall to tell me he couldn't stop talking about me. Shortly after that, he calls me and I told him "so I heard you talked about me at dinner the other night" and he said "yeah, I did because your're cool and hot! " I was impressed he didn't try to downplay or water down the information like so many other dudes would have and he didn't try to deflect it onto the girl who ratted him out, but just owned it himself without batting an eyelash. His extreme confidence made me even more attracted to him than I already was and I was already mega attracted. BTW, that guy has been my husband for over 20 years now. 🥰 Now, your case is a little different because your friend tacked on false information that if confronted, you need to correct. The girl already sounds a bit cocky as it is, so you need to be prepared for her feisty attitude and ready to throw it back at her. So if she confronts you, tell her " yeah, I think you're cute so I asked him to arrange another group hang so I coud see you again, but I didn't ask for your number. He added that bit himself. " And if you really want to knock her off her high horse you could add " If I decide I want your number, I'll ask for it myself. " Boy I'd love to see the look on her face if you said that to her! 🫢 But definitely at minimum tell her what your intentions were and make sure she knows your friend added his own spin before he went to her. Yeah, this is exactly what I was saying and case in point, with her personal success story..it absolutely worked and princess just gave you a script that is neutral enough that it doesn't even require a level of confidence that is maybe outside your comfort zone! It has inherent confidence and is yet just the facts...that's sort of how you need to frame it in your head. good luck Edited August 18, 2023 by Versacehottie 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted August 18, 2023 Share Posted August 18, 2023 Dude, if you run into her again, this will be the last thing on her mind--provided you guys have some chemistry. Most likely she didn't remember who you were, and that's OK. Some people have fantastic party memories, others not. Really, do not sweat this one second. You see her again, you step out and greet her and say you enjoyed talking to her at the particular party. Link to post Share on other sites
Ageless Wisdom23 Posted August 19, 2023 Share Posted August 19, 2023 (edited) Be polite but not interested. Maybe if she sees you talking to other Girls, She will get an urge to want you to ask her for her number. Playing hard to get sometimes works. Either That, Or she is just a "High Maintenance."😑 Edited August 19, 2023 by Ageless Wisdom23 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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