Dating a Social Media Influencer.

[Jordvn]

Met this girl while online dating, we've been getting to know each other on Instagram, flirting, and facetiming and are planning to meet up next month. I changed my profile to public, because I made a post promoting her product. She then reposted it on her IG story. Then I noticed she deleted all her likes and comments on my pictures. I know it's just social media but I'm thinking she doesn't want other people to know about her flirting me or she has someone else and doesn't want that person seeing her likes/ comments on my pictures. BTW, she's an IG influencer with over 14K followers. She's like legit social media famous & doesn't post anything personal. TBH, I'm surprised someone like her would even give me the time of day. Should I feel bad about her deleting the likes/comments because its been bothering me and I'm overthinking things.

[Versacehottie]

I'd say if her deleting your likes and comments is the only thing different about her normal social media behavior then you are probably correct...she is trying to hide you (maybe from someone special in her life, people in general or it's simply too soon and she would want to be established with you before you guys "launch"). 

8 minutes ago, Jordvn said:

TBH, I'm surprised someone like her would even give me the time of day.

If you are legitimately flirting with each other, then just proceed confidently DESPITE noticing this. Give it a little more time but keep your eyes on things.

[BaileyB]

22 minutes ago, Jordvn said:

Met this girl while online dating, we've been getting to know each other on Instagram, flirting, and facetiming and are planning to meet up next month.

I hate to state the obvious but you are not “dating” the woman of you have never met in person.

Personally, I would not invest too much of my time and energy in the possibility of a relationship with a woman that you have not yet met who is primarily occupied with her social media presence.  I can’t imagine anything else that would be described as more of a “long shot” than this… 

Edited August 17, 2023 by BaileyB

[glows]

Next month?? Why on earth is the meeting so far away? Is she on another planet? 

Yes I do think you’re overthinking but that is okay. We all do it. If she happens to be in your orbit any time this year and you both are actually dating then mention it or say you’re curious and so on. Be your authentic self but don’t overreact to someone you hardly know.

[Jordvn]

11 minutes ago, BaileyB said:

I hate to state the obvious but you are not “dating” the woman of you have never met in person.

Personally, I would not invest too much of my time and energy in the possibility of a relationship with a woman that you have not yet met who is primarily occupied with her social media presence.  I can’t imagine anything else that would be described as more of a “long shot” than this… 

You know what I mean, dating in the future at least. Yes she's online famous, but at the end of the day, she's just a regular human being. My best friend who's an average guy like me, met a famous make-up artist online, they dated & are now married with kids. 

[Jordvn]

2 minutes ago, glows said:

Next month?? Why on earth is the meeting so far away? Is she on another planet? 

Yes I do think you’re overthinking but that is okay. We all do it. If she happens to be in your orbit any time this year and you both are actually dating then mention it or say you’re curious and so on. Be your authentic self but don’t overreact to someone you hardly know.

It's long distance, she's about 500 miles from where I live. She sends me things through the mail though, but the distance is a drag. I am overreacting to the situation 

[Kassieee]

2 minutes ago, Jordvn said:

It's long distance, she's about 500 miles from where I live. She sends me things through the mail though, but the distance is a drag. I am overreacting to the situation 

What does she send you?

Why not ask her why shes deleting all her posts?

[Jordvn]

31 minutes ago, Versacehottie said:

I'd say if her deleting your likes and comments is the only thing different about her normal social media behavior then you are probably correct...she is trying to hide you (maybe from someone special in her life, people in general or it's simply too soon and she would want to be established with you before you guys "launch"). 

If you are legitimately flirting with each other, then just proceed confidently DESPITE noticing this. Give it a little more time but keep your eyes on things.

 

I get that, girls I've dated in the past keep me a secret until we "launched." I guess it bums me out more because of who she is. 

We are legit flirting with each other, we matched on Bumble to begin with. 

[Kassieee]

Could be she wants to look more professional. And not make it seem like you're just promoting her because you like eachother. Doesn't seem genuine on business stand point. 

[Jordvn]

Just now, SlimShadysWife said:

What does she send you?

Why not ask her why shes deleting all her posts?

She has a clothing line for men and women, she sent me some product. I offered to take a pic and help promote it on my page, she said that was very kind of me to do that. She reposted my pic on her page.

She deleted the comments and likes she left on my page from the past. 

[Wiseman2]

2 minutes ago, Jordvn said:

, we matched on Bumble to begin with. 

The good news is you're not exclusive so keep this on the back burner and continue to talk to and meet local women you can meet in a timely manner and see regularly. Unfortunately she may just be looking for followers for income purposes. 

[Jordvn]

1 minute ago, SlimShadysWife said:

Could be she wants to look more professional. And not make it seem like you're just promoting her because you like eachother. Doesn't seem genuine on business stand point. 

Could be, I was thinking that it might hurt her image, because there are so many dudes trying to flirt with her.

[Alpacalia]

Don't use Instagram (I am so in the dark ages) but don't feel bad about her deleting the likes/comments. It's totally possible that she just doesn't want her followers to know she's flirting with you—that she wants to keep it to the two of you. It's possible she has someone else. You just don't know. Take it one day at a time and see how things go when you meet up and talk (if you decide to).

She may have her reasons for wanting to keep things discreet for now.

 

Edited August 18, 2023 by Alpacalia

[Jordvn]

2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

The good news is you're not exclusive so keep this on the back burner and continue to talk to and meet local women you can meet in a timely manner and see regularly. Unfortunately she may just be looking for followers for income purposes. 

Well I've been dating several women during this time, she knows this too. I made it clear with her, she jokes about it with me but I know it bothers her

[Kassieee]

3 minutes ago, Jordvn said:

She has a clothing line for men and women, she sent me some product. I offered to take a pic and help promote it on my page, she said that was very kind of me to do that. She reposted my pic on her page.

She deleted the comments and likes she left on my page from the past. 

 

Now that she posted your pic on her insta, people on her Instagram will see you, get nosey, potentially lurk on your profile and see her comment. 

Either she's talking to other guys and doesn't want them to see.

She doesn't want her business like her love life out there. To get scrutinized- if she's truly that popular, people online can be mean.

She doesn't want people to think you are promoting just because you like her....doesn't seem authentic.

[Kassieee]

3 minutes ago, Jordvn said:

Well I've been dating several women during this time, she knows this too. I made it clear with her, she jokes about it with me but I know it bothers her

Thats good that you're honest with her. Has she had that talk with you on her end? Has she said she's just talking to you?

[Kassieee]

11 minutes ago, Jordvn said:

Could be, I was thinking that it might hurt her image, because there are so many dudes trying to flirt with her.

Are you the only guy she posted on her page promoting her line? 

[glows]

39 minutes ago, Jordvn said:

It's long distance, she's about 500 miles from where I live. She sends me things through the mail though, but the distance is a drag. I am overreacting to the situation 

Op, thanks for being honest about this ld element. I think that if your mind is in overdrive like this before you’ve even met someone 500 mi away imagine if you are dating.

I am curious as I ask this of everyone considering an ldr and already invested,  twisted and gut wrenched by uncertainties, how do you see this unfolding and do both of you have the financial means to sustain a relationship involving long distance travel? Do you plan to relocate? Does she? She’s an influencer so likely will want her creature comforts and familiar life but I could be wrong. I’m curious to hear your response.

Edited August 18, 2023 by glows

[Ageless Wisdom23]

I would not count on her meeting up.  If Anything, She is sadly using you for what you you can do to get her noticed.  And is deleting all of your Likes because she doesn't want to be hooked to anyone Online.  Be careful.😗

[BaileyB]

2 hours ago, Jordvn said:

You know what I mean, dating in the future at least.

For all you know, she’s “dating in the future” three other guys too though…

I would just suggest that you keep your expectations low and not get too far ahead of yourself. You are basically strangers at this point. 

2 hours ago, Jordvn said:

I was thinking that it might hurt her image, because there are so many dudes trying to flirt with her.

That doesn’t put you off?

2 hours ago, Jordvn said:

She has a clothing line for men and women, she sent me some product. I offered to take a pic and help promote it on my page, she said that was very kind of me to do that. She reposted my pic on her page.

Does she do this with other people too? 

 

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, Jordvn said:

, she sent me some product. I offered to take a pic and help promote it on my page, she said that was very kind of me to do that. She reposted my pic on her page.

Unfortunately she's just looking for uncreased business and revenue. Sorry. 

[Jordvn]

3 hours ago, SlimShadysWife said:

Thats good that you're honest with her. Has she had that talk with you on her end? Has she said she's just talking to you?

Well I asked her if she's doing online dating still and she says she doesn't anymore. She's all about monogamy.

I told her I have a "roster" and she understands that's a common thing for people who live in a big city like I do. 

[Jordvn]

3 hours ago, glows said:

Op, thanks for being honest about this ld element. I think that if your mind is in overdrive like this before you’ve even met someone 500 mi away imagine if you are dating.

I am curious as I ask this of everyone considering an ldr and already invested,  twisted and gut wrenched by uncertainties, how do you see this unfolding and do both of you have the financial means to sustain a relationship involving long distance travel? Do you plan to relocate? Does she? She’s an influencer so likely will want her creature comforts and familiar life but I could be wrong. I’m curious to hear your response.

I've had long distant relationships before, I travel for free through work, so that's not a problem. I really don't know about long term, I am able to relocate if it comes down to that.

[Jordvn]

2 hours ago, Ageless Wisdom23 said:

I would not count on her meeting up.  If Anything, She is sadly using you for what you you can do to get her noticed.  And is deleting all of your Likes because she doesn't want to be hooked to anyone Online.  Be careful.😗

It was all my idea to promote her, she just sent me product for me to have. 

[justwhoiam]

First of all, does she own her clothing line she's directly creating and producing or does she have a deal to just promote some brand? If it's the latter, you basically worked for her for free, while she's getting paid for it and for views. People who are paid depending on the number of views also post on Pinterest, so your pictures might be all over now. For free.

14k on ig is not much. She might have paid for it to start being offered business deals. Because yes, you can pay to get followers too. But there's also a very high chance that she's on dating apps to give out her ig account to all the guys to expand her follower base. If most of her followers are male, you'll have your answer.

You can connect with her on ig, no big deal. But don't mix business with personal stuff. You want to make sure she's in for who you are rather than for what you can do for her. And didn't you find it odd that she sent you clothes and you've never even met?