Author Jordvn Posted August 18, 2023 Author Share Posted August 18, 2023 1 hour ago, BaileyB said: For all you know, she’s “dating in the future” three other guys too though… I would just suggest that you keep your expectations low and not get too far ahead of yourself. You are basically strangers at this point. That doesn’t put you off? Does she do this with other people too? Many dudes try to get at her, but she doesn't engage. She doesn't even follow many people either, but she follows me & engaging with me, so I'm not mad about it. She does it with other people but they're friends/models from her fashion shows. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jordvn Posted August 18, 2023 Author Share Posted August 18, 2023 1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said: Unfortunately she's just looking for uncreased business and revenue. Sorry. We've known each other for a year, and 4 minutes ago, justwhoiam said: First of all, does she own her clothing line she's directly creating and producing or does she have a deal to just promote some brand? If it's the latter, you basically worked for her for free, while she's getting paid for it and for views. People who are paid depending on the number of views also post on Pinterest, so your pictures might be all over now. For free. 14k on ig is not much. She might have paid for it to start being offered business deals. Because yes, you can pay to get followers too. But there's also a very high chance that she's on dating apps to give out her ig account to all the guys to expand her follower base. If most of her followers are male, you'll have your answer. You can connect with her on ig, no big deal. But don't mix business with personal stuff. You want to make sure she's in for who you are rather than for what you can do for her. And didn't you find it odd that she sent you clothes and you've never even met? It's her own line that she created. We've actually known each other for over 2 years now, and just now started to talk about her line. It was all my idea, I just thought it would be nice to give her a shout out since she sent me free stuff, that I was going to buy to support her in the first place. She's not using me, I know the difference. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted August 18, 2023 Share Posted August 18, 2023 7 minutes ago, Jordvn said: I've had long distant relationships before, I travel for free through work, so that's not a problem. I really don't know about long term, I am able to relocate if it comes down to that. 9 minutes ago, Jordvn said: Well I asked her if she's doing online dating still and she says she doesn't anymore. She's all about monogamy. I told her I have a "roster" and she understands that's a common thing for people who live in a big city like I do. Just a general comment here - this is TMI this early. Meet first and then see whether there is a spark. Don’t bother discussing too much about your dating life as it’s none of each others’ business at this point. Plus, you may change your mind about this “roster” or having anything to do with it in the coming weeks. I daresay you’ll find quite quickly just how invested she is when you see how much effort she’s willing to put into visiting YOU. Not just you arranging to see her all the time just because it’s “free” or convenient for you. Look at a person’s feet and their actions not just text based superficial conversations on social media or via text. You will likely find out very early on whether she’s interested by the effort she makes in seeing you in person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
IrinaM Posted August 18, 2023 Share Posted August 18, 2023 How long have you two known each other-one year or over two years? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jordvn Posted August 18, 2023 Author Share Posted August 18, 2023 8 minutes ago, glows said: Just a general comment here - this is TMI this early. Meet first and then see whether there is a spark. Don’t bother discussing too much about your dating life as it’s none of each others’ business at this point. Plus, you may change your mind about this “roster” or having anything to do with it in the coming weeks. I daresay you’ll find quite quickly just how invested she is when you see how much effort she’s willing to put into visiting YOU. Not just you arranging to see her all the time just because it’s “free” or convenient for you. Look at a person’s feet and their actions not just text based superficial conversations on social media or via text. You will likely find out very early on whether she’s interested by the effort she makes in seeing you in person. Well I posted on my story that I was watching Barbie, she questioned why am I watching it, and if I was on a date. I told her the truth and that's what brought up the conversation about dating. Hard to tell how invested she is, but one thing is she's number one on my IG share list, the other top people are ones who are obsessed with me, just a thought. Maybe its time to just take a step back and see what effort she puts in this time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jordvn Posted August 18, 2023 Author Share Posted August 18, 2023 10 minutes ago, IrinaM said: How long have you two known each other-one year or over two years? Over two years, but the past couple of months we've gotten to know each other better. Honestly I think she was dating someone within that time, and started giving me attention when things ended with that other person. Link to post Share on other sites
Kassieee Posted August 18, 2023 Share Posted August 18, 2023 58 minutes ago, Jordvn said: It was all my idea to promote her, she just sent me product for me to have. Yeah I wouldn't be so quick to conclude that she just has bad motives. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jordvn Posted August 18, 2023 Author Share Posted August 18, 2023 37 minutes ago, SlimShadysWife said: Yeah I wouldn't be so quick to conclude that she just has bad motives. Even though she started this clothing thing way after we met? Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted August 18, 2023 Share Posted August 18, 2023 5 hours ago, Jordvn said: I get that, girls I've dated in the past keep me a secret until we "launched." I guess it bums me out more because of who she is. We are legit flirting with each other, we matched on Bumble to begin with. This bolded is the part that you are overthinking. You just have to level the playing field...not so much with your "roster" though ....with real confidence like you are absolutely her equal and interested in her at the same time. But never act like you don't have a right to be with her. You have to reframe the "reason" for why she is deleting your likes and comments. If I were in your shoes, I would just believe she is doing it because it's too soon to let anyone know that she has a crush on you or you have a flirtation and plans to date. IG famous or real famous or just a regular person, lots of people keep things quiet until they (you and her) know what's going on. In fact, I think that's a good way to do it so you have a little bubble where can fall in love or at least like without outside influences of friends, family etc. 10x if you are talking about letting people figure out what is going on on Instagram. And then also if you have a decent following, then a lot of those people follow her but maybe she even more protective of her privacy. If you are saying she never posts private stuff--well you fall into the private category. I'm just processing this in my head, in the same way she would (i'd guess). It's too soon to let people figure it out on instagram...and trust me they can be eagle eyed and figure out stuff very easily. If she is hot then appearing single until she is completely in a relationship is the name of the game in the influencer world. If you met on bumble, then my guess now is that she is more genuine about liking you and it's just too soon. That said, 500 miles is far! Not impossible but it's tough. BTW, I don't think you should weight the number of followers she has too heavily. Technically she's a micro influencer at that level of followers. I've seen people increase from 14k to 50k pretty fast though and if she gets into much bigger numbers her life has the potential to change a lot. Does she live in an urban area too? Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted August 18, 2023 Share Posted August 18, 2023 6 hours ago, Jordvn said: I guess it bums me out more because of who she is. She's a social media influencer with 14K followers, not exactly Margot Robbie. Calm down. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted August 18, 2023 Share Posted August 18, 2023 (edited) Why is it that you've been getting to know each other for two years, and only recently started to become close? That's a bit of a red flag for me, I could be wrong though. What do you mean by having a "roster" and saying that you have people that are "obsessed" with you? What kind of effort do you expect from her? It sounds like you're feeling jealous and insecure about the situation. Is that part of the allure for you, that she's an influencer and has a lot of followers? You seem to be expecting her to be more invested in you than she may feel comfortable with at this stage, and you may need to give her some space to decide how much to open up to you. On the other hand, she may be leading you on and using you for her public image, so you will also need to consider whether that could be the case. I am not sure why you are mixing your dating life with her social media fame in this regard, but it may be a sign that she does not want to get too involved with you, or keep you around for too long. Either way, it may be good for you to take a step back and to focus on your own life, and see what she does next. See where it goes when you actually meet up. You're too entrenched in this situation right now and need to take a step back so you can assess the situation more clearly. Edited August 18, 2023 by Alpacalia Link to post Share on other sites
IrinaM Posted August 18, 2023 Share Posted August 18, 2023 @JordvnHow many times have the two of you hung out together in person? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 18, 2023 Share Posted August 18, 2023 Stop promoting her product. Then see if she still engages. 2 hours ago, MsJayne said: She's a social media influencer with 14K followers, not exactly Margot Robbie. Calm down Also this. She's not exactly a huge deal, OP. That isn't to diminish whatever achievements she's managed, but rather to help you put this into perspective. You seem a bit dazzled by her but at the same time, over-estimating her important and online presence. Would you be into her if she were a young woman with a normal job? Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted August 18, 2023 Share Posted August 18, 2023 (edited) 22 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Would you be into her if she were a young woman with a normal job? Agree. That's what I'm thinking and said earlier. Part of the allure for you seems that she is a social media influencer that has men vying for her attention yet you're the one she's choosing to talk to. I'm sure that makes you feel special and she likely knows it. But it's also a double-edge sword, as you're likely now overthinking things and feeling and trying to find meaning in all the little things. If this was any other person, for someone that you have not met yet, you wouldn't be giving it a second thought. You also wouldn't expect them to be proclaiming their devotion to you on social media, as that is something you can only know after spending time together. Edited August 18, 2023 by Alpacalia 1 Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted August 18, 2023 Share Posted August 18, 2023 I'll wait for your answer about why you "met her while online dating" but have been in touch with her for 2 years, and only talking about meeting up and dating just now. Something doesn't add up in your story. You said you think she had a boyfriend, so how did you meet her while online dating? It sounds confusing. Were you two on a dating app and then switched to ig? Or did you get to know her randomly on ig? Or...? Link to post Share on other sites
IrinaM Posted August 18, 2023 Share Posted August 18, 2023 I believe I figured out from your posts that you have never met in person? Is this correct? I find that pretty concerning. Basically, you started chatting with her on bumble, and from there it's moved to instagram, where this "flirtation" has stayed parked in neutral for 1-2 years. I'm going to go against the grain here and say that I think her removing her likes from your posts is highly impactful on a relationship that exists solely on instagram. But something seems really off about this whole "online relationship." Honestly, in light of the facts that (1) you have not hung out in person with this woman even once in two years (2) she sent you some of her products so you can help her promote them and (3) she removed her likes from your page...I think it's likely that she's harvesting this same "relationship" with other online suitors who also do stuff for her. I think she's operating with an agenda besides "I hope I meet a nice guy so I can have a boyfriend." <<That's not really why attractive young women use instagram anyway, and certainly doesn't seem to be how she is using it. Just because she's trying to hide you from other guys doesn't mean she has any serious intentions towards you, it just means she is acting in her own self-interest. These situations always walk the same route. What are the odds that you two will ever meet in person? extremely low. Please rethink this strategy for getting to know women. I just feel you will be disappointed, and there have to be better ways. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Stret Posted August 18, 2023 Share Posted August 18, 2023 12 hours ago, Jordvn said: Met this girl while online dating, we've been getting to know each other on Instagram, flirting, and facetiming and are planning to meet up next month. I changed my profile to public, because I made a post promoting her product. She then reposted it on her IG story. Then I noticed she deleted all her likes and comments on my pictures. I know it's just social media but I'm thinking she doesn't want other people to know about her flirting me or she has someone else and doesn't want that person seeing her likes/ comments on my pictures. BTW, she's an IG influencer with over 14K followers. She's like legit social media famous & doesn't post anything personal. TBH, I'm surprised someone like her would even give me the time of day. Should I feel bad about her deleting the likes/comments because its been bothering me and I'm overthinking things. 14K is nothing and she is not influencer, maybe a wannabe one. Proper influencers have hundreds of thousands of followers. I have 4-5K and am an ordinary person who doesn't post to influence, so even without trying it is easy to gain that following. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted August 18, 2023 Share Posted August 18, 2023 13 hours ago, Jordvn said: Met this girl while online dating, we've been getting to know each other on Instagram, flirting, and facetiming and are planning to meet up next month. I changed my profile to public, because I made a post promoting her product. She then reposted it on her IG story. Then I noticed she deleted all her likes and comments on my pictures. I know it's just social media but I'm thinking she doesn't want other people to know about her flirting me or she has someone else and doesn't want that person seeing her likes/ comments on my pictures. BTW, she's an IG influencer with over 14K followers. She's like legit social media famous & doesn't post anything personal. TBH, I'm surprised someone like her would even give me the time of day. Should I feel bad about her deleting the likes/comments because its been bothering me and I'm overthinking things. Don’t make connections on social media until you meet in real life. I understand you could meet people this way ….which is a valid Avenue….still don’t share/ connect beyond thst platform. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 18, 2023 Share Posted August 18, 2023 (edited) She’a not really a social media influencer if she only has 14k followers. She is trying to establish herself as someone of influence, and she is using you to do it. Her “job” is to connect with people online and build her image/presence on social media. As such, there are likely many others doing the same as you. If she was just any woman that you met online, the chances that this long distance online meet would turn into an actual relationship are very slim. If you are already thinking about relocating to be with this woman when you have never actually met in person, I think you have really gotten ahead of yourself here. Edited August 18, 2023 by BaileyB Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted August 18, 2023 Share Posted August 18, 2023 (edited) xxxx Edited August 18, 2023 by BaileyB Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted August 18, 2023 Share Posted August 18, 2023 16 hours ago, Jordvn said: I get that, girls I've dated in the past keep me a secret until we "launched." I guess it bums me out more because of who she is. I was thinking that it might hurt her image, because there are so many dudes trying to flirt with her. 500 mi away Wait until you actually "launch" to start feeling too much. TBH, I think the theory that this is mostly just her manipulating you as part of building her SM petty fiefdom is most likely the accurate call here, unfortunately. Hopefully I'm wrong but it sounds like she'll have the option of 100's of men much closer to hand to date. She deletes your posts so she can pull the same shenanigans with other guys. IF you do end up "launching" and she celebrates this on SM, etc, THEN it's the real deal. My gut sense would put that odds of that actually happening at like 10% or less. It's not that hard for a person to make you think maybe "you're the one" if you have little idea what else is actually going on in their life, and some folks manipulate others through this "information gap". 2 Link to post Share on other sites
IrinaM Posted August 18, 2023 Share Posted August 18, 2023 1 hour ago, mark clemson said: TBH, I think the theory that this is mostly just her manipulating you as part of building her SM petty fiefdom is most likely the accurate call here, unfortunately. ^^I was trying to think of an old expression that has something to do with hoofprints/zebras/horses, but it escapes me. While anything is possible, this is the most likely explanation. @Jordvnyou seem like a sweet guy I would hate for you to spend a bunch of your emotional bandwidth thinking about this woman. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted August 18, 2023 Share Posted August 18, 2023 She is not "internet famous" with 14K followers. I'm sorry. You are getting way too invested in a woman who lives 500 miles away from you who you have never met. Someone who sounds like she spends her life on social media and is all about the attention she gets from people. I'm sorry but this all sounds ridiculous. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted August 19, 2023 Share Posted August 19, 2023 (edited) Sorry but this lady is not social media famous. 14k followers is nothing (a following like that is called a micro influencer). She is likely barely scratching by with a following like that and is completely dependent on making the content her followers want to see instead of the stuff she actually wants to do. Also wouldn't be surprised if she has a very unattractive job that she simply isn't telling her followers about because she wants to portray herself as being far more successful than she is. OP I highly suggest you stop talking to this lady. She lives 500 miles away and is clearly just using you to promote her channel. Edited August 19, 2023 by Sony12 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted August 19, 2023 Share Posted August 19, 2023 (edited) I think this whole thing is off. I'm curious who says to someone I have women in rotation and women obsessed with me? No matter how much someone may brag about their dating life, nobody should ever say that they have women in rotation or that they have women obsessed with them. That kind of statement not only sounds narcissistic and entitled, but it's also inappropriate and disrespectful. She's not self-absorbed for trying to launch a business. She's self absorbed if she tries to exploit or take advantage of you to promote her business. Personally, I'm not sure why she is adding some man she is potentially dating to her business account and it is very weird and that would have been a red for me on my end. The comments thing, I just realized that you're asking why she deleted comments she left on YOUR page and YOUR pictures as opposed to the other way around (of you deleting comments you left on her page). I also agree that for being someone that you have not met, you are getting ahead of yourself. To answer your main question, yes, it is normal to feel slighted and a bit uncomfortable. She might not have any ill intentions, but her actions might not make sense from your perspective and that is understandable. Beyond that, I would be cautious in my interactions with her. But, I would also be cautious in my interactions with you based off of the context you have given with women being in your rotation. Women are not objects, so you should not be treating them like such. Edited August 19, 2023 by Alpacalia 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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