I'm 30 and shes 29. No contact for two days and her birthday is tomorrow.

[mcuber]

Hi everyone I'm looking for a bit of advice for my situation. For a bit of background I started dating this girl last march and we are both the same age. Things started out great between us hanging out and hooking up until around a month and a half into it when she said she was feeling stressed due to graduating and ending it.

 

We have recently been reconnecting since last july seeing eachother once with her going away on a trip for 3 weeks with her family. When she came back she said that she wants to see me and I also noticed that she is on hinge. She has been contacting less canceling a date and she has not responded to my last message for two days. I also believe she noticed me on hinge as well and removed me from being able to match with me being anxious starting another account and noticing that she is still there however I believe she removed this account to before I could delete which makes me feel like it was a big mistake to start another account. I felt like she could have blocked me on Instagram and Facebook after this but we follow eachother and are friends.

 

I'm planning in starting no contact with her not responding in two days however tomorrow is her birthday. Should I give her a happy birthday message on facebook or messenger and then start no contact depending on how she responds? Also if I ignore her birthday, dont send her a happy birthday message and she asks why what would be a good response? I also feel she could get shock and wonder why I didnt message her happy birthday. Also what would her perspective be removing me from a dating app twice? as I feel it could come off as stalkish. I feel that her attraction has dropped however I would still like to make things work. Any other advice or insight would be appreciated! Thanks!

[MsJayne]

Regardless of how long you've been seeing each other, her being on a date site should be enough to tell you what's going on. Not responding to a message for two days could mean that she's had an accident and her fingers have been chopped off, or she could be so ill that she can't function, or she might just be giving you a rude brush off. I'm going with rude brush off being as she's been able to make a date site profile so it's obvious she's neither sick or an amputee. No, I wouldn't send her a birthday message because you'll just be enabling her rude behaviour. If she wants to contact you let her do the hard work, you've already done your bit. 

[Alpacalia]

I vote for not sending her a happy birthday message. It's unlikely to improve the situation and could prove to be counterproductive if she does acknowledge your post. No need to over-explain or justify.

She doesn't need to know why you didn't wish her a 'happy birthday'.

[glows]

You have asked her out on a date and she cancelled. She hasn’t responded to your last text in two days. You suspect she created a new Hinge account to avoid you because she feels you stalk her. Is this correct? Now you want to wish her HB? 

Regarding IG and Fb these are different from a dating site. They’re random social platforms where the socially conscious and sensitive gather or collect “followers” or “friends”. She may have adjusted or limited the info you see or made items private. I assume she’s also not flirting with her “followers” or “friends” publicly. She saves that hanky panky for apps like Hinge. Which she voted you off. 

I don’t think this person is that interested in meeting with you and she’s just chatting with you for attention or out of boredom. If she hasn’t responded in TWO days and never offered an alternative to the prev cancelled date please redirect your energy elsewhere and meet other women.

[JTSW]

Don't send her anymore messages or a happy birthday message.

She is not interested.

She is out there meeting and dating other guys, avoiding you at the same time.

Don't waste anymore of your time here.

Start no contact and put this one out of your mind.