Should I even go to my nephews party now that they are older, they just want to hang out with their friends now

[Chloeflowers]

My oldest nephew is 15 and the youngest one is 11. I'm debating to even go at this point seeing they are older and will most likely want to hang out with their friends. Like last year-their party was at an arcade and they were all hanging out with their friends going off to play video games and my brother's wife didn't invite any of their adult friends that time -so it was just my nephew and their friends. I was mostly by myself the entire time my bro and his wife were doing their own thing. They are at the age where they don't want to hang out with me anymore-which I understand-I just wanted to be with my friends when I was that age. Also, for halloween last year-my oldest nephew just ran off with his friends -I didn't even see him the rest of the night-it was just my youngest nephew with his friends that I tagged along with for trick or treating and from now on I''m sure -he will just want to be trick or treating with his friends

At this point- would it be pointless for me to go if I'm just going to be by myself? 

Edited August 25, 2023 by Chloeflowers

[Wiseman2]

Sending or stopping by to give him a gift is fine. 

[Chloeflowers]

Yeah I'm just going to stop by to drop off their gifts then and wish them well

[JTSW]

It's ok to just stop by to drop a gift and wish him happy birthday. 

 

[Chloeflowers]

For those that have had/have teenage nephews when it came to their birthday parties did they just want to be with their friends? And you were just there not really hanging out with them?

 

 

Edited August 25, 2023 by Chloeflowers

[Kassieee]

10 hours ago, Chloeflowers said:

Yeah I'm just going to stop by to drop off their gifts then and wish them well

I think that's perfectly fine if you just want to do that.

I don't think it's pointless if you stayed though, you're the aunt, you're a big deal. My Godfather also my uncle never skipped anything of mine it was nice seeing a familiar face even if it didn't seem so and I appreciate it so much now that I'm older.

But I get if you just don't want to sit there alone. Showing up is good enough.

[BrinnM]

1 hour ago, Chloeflowers said:

For those that have had/have teenage nephews when it came to their birthday parties did they just want to be with their friends? And you were just there not really hanging out with them?

 

 

Yes. 
But if I’m invited to their house, with the rest of the family & family friends, I’ll hang out with the adults. I would not go to an arcade party though. My worst nightmare.

So - depending on where the party takes place and who’s invited, I’ll gladly go, but I won’t expect my preteen and teen nieces & nephews to spend a significant amount of time with me.  

[MsJayne]

9 hours ago, Chloeflowers said:

For those that have had/have teenage nephews when it came to their birthday parties did they just want to be with their friends? And you were just there not really hanging out with them?

 

 

Yes, they want the gifts but don't want to hang out with adults. I've been my sister's 2IC at many nephew's birthday parties, and around 13 - 14 yo they secretly wish the adults would get lost and stop cramping their style. Dropping in with a gift to say happy b'day is the way to go. 

[Ageless Wisdom23]

With all that you Said, Send him a card and money/gift card.  And a Happy Birthday.  Call your bro and his wife and make a kind excuse.😑

[glows]

On 8/25/2023 at 5:34 AM, Chloeflowers said:

For those that have had/have teenage nephews when it came to their birthday parties did they just want to be with their friends? And you were just there not really hanging out with them?

 

 

Yes, very normal teen behaviour. From these questions I’m getting the sense that you feel a tad hurt even though you understand and rationalize it. Is this the case or ? It’s fine to feel sad that they’ve outgrown that kind of interaction or miss them. 

[stillafool]

Yes  I've been to my nephews preteen parties and teen parties as a chaperone.  Once their friends (especially the girls) show up they want nothing to do with the adults and try to stay out of our view.  

Edited August 26, 2023 by stillafool

[stillafool]

On 8/24/2023 at 10:48 PM, Chloeflowers said:

Yeah I'm just going to stop by to drop off their gifts then and wish them well

A gift card to a gaming store is a good gift for boys their age.

[ShyViolet]

I would just stop by, make an appearance and say hi to him and everyone, then plan to only stay a short time.

[Els]

On 8/25/2023 at 10:34 PM, Chloeflowers said:

For those that have had/have teenage nephews when it came to their birthday parties did they just want to be with their friends? And you were just there not really hanging out with them?

Yes, of course, it's totally normal. Think back to when you were 15, didn't you think that people in their 20s and 30s were positively ancient?

On the other hand, I think it might be a bit rude for your brother and his wife to invite you and then just ignore you all night. Hosts should try to entertain all guests as far as possible.