My first date in a while

[Keeves1]

Hey! 

Two days ago on sunday 27. August I went on my first date with a girl named "Marte" I know I have made a post about two other girls that I will be seeing, but that is later this week. I did not meet Marte on any sort of dating app. 

Last week there was an bubble tea event that I went to with my friends. Don't know if you have bubble tea in your area but it is sort of an Asian tea with tapioca. Yes it was there that I met this girl "Marte" but there is a context to this. So before attending this event I saw a video that was posted from the shop on Instagram and it was then I saw this girl first. I thought she had a cute smile which caught my attention so I gave her a followed and sent her a message asking her out on a date. I was shooting my shot there lol. I deleted the message and unfollowed her about 1 hour later because I had a change of heart. Reason being is that I don't know this girl and I don't want to come across as a creepy guy. 

So back to the event last week, we saw each other and got eye contact. Then later that day she followed me and sent me a message on Instagram "Heey just to make sure are you the guy I saw today on the event? Who is this mysterious man who follows me, sends me a message and then unfollows?". So we talked a bit later on that evening. 

Eventually I did go on a first date with her two days ago and we sat down in an coffee bar and talked about work, music, what we do for living, etc... Marte is way out of my league when it comes to the look. She looks like a model! She is also very well educated (she is a teacher). In Norway you need to have high grades to be a teacher. She likes to hit the gym, she is learning Korean, she is very interested in the culture and she likes to party. 

At the end of the date I asked her what she's looking after and she responded something like: "I'm very happy with where I am in life, I have alot of friends, I have a lot of fun, good paying job and it would take alot for me to fall in love right now, so I would say I'm just looking for friendship"

She made her intentions clear and so did I. I have her snapchat but we have not talked since. I still want to maintain friendship with her but I don't really know how to proceed forward from now... like should I just send her a message on snapchat asking her to hang out with me and my friends? 

Thanks for reading! 

Edited August 29, 2023 by Keeves1

[Wiseman2]

14 minutes ago, Keeves1 said:

 I would say I'm just looking for friendship" should I just send her a message on snapchat asking her to hang out with me and my friends? 

You have other dates lined up. She's not interested, so just leave her alone. " let's be friends" is just a polite "no thank you".

[Alpacalia]

That's a polite way of saying she's not interested in anything romantic with you right now. Try not to flog a dead horse by taking it further romantically. Just take what she said and if she reestablishes contact with you, go from there.

[glows]

Well you did say you wanted to maintain friendship. Bolded for emphasis and so you actually hold yourself to it. This means stop expecting her to feel romantic about you as she doesn’t seem in that same headspace. If you are sincere about friendship then sure, ask her to hang out as friends or with you and your friends. It shouldn’t matter that much, should it?