First date with Rory

[Keeves1]

Hello! How is everyone doing? 

Me and Rory went for a walk with her dog and with lasted 1 hour 30 min. It was a nice walk and nice to get some miles in hehe 😄 

I think it was overall a good date where the conversations and the questions came naturally and nothing were forced. We had small talk at the beginning and further down the walk we talked about our interest and what we like to do in our free times etc... (the usual questions people ask to get to know a person) She works in economy and likes to hit the gym in her free time. She also has a dog and a typical day for her is to get home from work, make food and then go for a walk with her dog before watching TV and then go to bed.

There was some silence yes but  I think it's good as not everything needs to be forced. At the end of the date she followed be to the bus stop but I had to wait 15 min for my bus to arrive so I asked her if I could follow her home since she lives close and she told med "No it's fine I can keep you in company while we wait for your bus" 

I also said that I had a great time and that I would like to see her again and she said "Yes just send me a message on snapchat" 

Overall I really like this girl. She is down to earth, smart and good looking. Yeah I don't know what more I could write. I think this date was great!

While I sat in the bus I just realized that I don't have either Rory or Hanny's phone number. When is the perfect time to ask for their phone number? 😅🤣

Edited August 31, 2023 by Keeves1

[Wiseman2]

4 minutes ago, Keeves1 said:

 I asked her if I could follow her home since she lives close and she told me "No. she said "Yes just send me a message on snapchat" 

She asked you to message on SC. Just do that. Some people don't like giving out their phone numbers because there may be too much information associated with it. She'll offer it when she's ready.

It's great she waited at the bus stop with you and didn't fall for going back to her place (which was the point of walking dogs near her). She'll invite you to her place when she's ready. In general, try to be a bit more polite and a bit less pushy.

[Keeves1]

4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

It's great she waited at the bus stop with you and didn't fall for going back to her place (which was the point of walking dogs near her). She'll invite you to her place when she's ready. In general, try to be a bit more polite and a bit less pushy.

Yeah I should have not asked her that... But my intentions were not to be rude. I thought 15 minutes is enough time to follow her home and then take the bus home. Should I apologize to her? 

[Ami1uwant]

22 minutes ago, Keeves1 said:

Yeah I should have not asked her that... But my intentions were not to be rude. I thought 15 minutes is enough time to follow her home and then take the bus home. Should I apologize to her? 

Following her home is stalking her……

 

you should have just waited for the bus.

you should have asked for her number to communicate

[Keeves1]

1 hour ago, Ami1uwant said:

Following her home is stalking her……

 

you should have just waited for the bus.

you should have asked for her number to communicate

We did wait for the bus in the end  But should I apologize to her? 🤔

[Foxhall]

2 hours ago, Keeves1 said:

so I asked her if I could follow her home since she lives close and she told m

better not to be too enthusiastic-dont run after them be it literally or otherwise; a more ambivalent "treat them mean and keep them keen" approach is always better

Id also ask straight out for the number-shows more confidence -  then again back a few years ago I was probably similarly hesitant about these things.

 

[Gaeta]

Oh dear...never ever invite yourself to a lady's place. You keep inviting her out until she invites you to her place. No matter if it takes 2-3-4-5 dates, don't invite yourself.

Contact her on the app and invite her out for the weekend. Next time you see her ask her her number.

Edited September 1, 2023 by Gaeta

[Keeves1]

6 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

Oh dear...never ever invite yourself to a lady's place. You keep inviting her out until she invites you to her place. No matter if it takes 2-3-4-5 dates, don't invite yourself.

Contact her on the app and invite her out for the weekend. Next time you see her ask her her number.

That was an honest mistake… I’m going to apologize to her

[Wiseman2]

10 minutes ago, Keeves1 said:

That was an honest mistake… I’m going to apologize to her

This is why you shouldn't have changed the plans. The plan was meet her in public at a coffee house. Going to the park (near her place) was no "mistake".

The mistake was trying to change the venue when there was absolutely no need to. Next time respect your date, meet in a safe  public place. 

And you can apologize, but try not to try ending up accidentally on purpose near a dates place. It's good she saw through it and said no. Sorry to say but the dog walk was a really bad idea. Hope it didn't ruin her opinion of you. 

Edited September 1, 2023 by Wiseman2

[Keeves1]

45 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

This is why you shouldn't have changed the plans. The plan was meet her in public at a coffee house. Going to the park (near her place) was no "mistake".

The mistake was trying to change the venue when there was absolutely no need to. Next time respect your date, meet in a safe  public place. 

If she is still interested to go on second date then it will be in a coffee house but I just realized that this might be an issue. I don’t know what she will answer but I have a feeling that the date may come short because then she would say something like «I need to go because I have to take my dog out» 

My point is that If I could score a 3,4 or 5 dates which is good but every dates would be short because of her dog. It sounds like I’m blaming the dog but this I’m just trying to say that it could be challenging. It’s not like every dates need to last 2-3 hours.. it really depend and I don’t even know how long she could sit in a coffee house before she has to go home and take the dog out

Edited September 1, 2023 by Keeves1

[Wiseman2]

25 minutes ago, Keeves1 said:

. It sounds like I’m blaming the dog but this I’m just trying to say that it could be challenging. 

Let her pick the date time and place. Her dog walking schedule is not your concern. Your concern is whether she wants to see you and make time for you. People with pets date all the time. The question is, is she interested enough to make time.

She's a grown woman who can easily decide on a date day, time and place. If she obviously doesn't want to extend it that's fine.  

If it's too "challenging", don't date her or women with pets, jobs,  families, or other responsibilities. It's not the dog's fault. Either she's interested or not. It has nothing to do with dogs.

Please try to make this easier on yourself by being flexible and reasonable without a hidden agenda. Such as ending up at their place on the first meeting. Slow your roll.

Edited September 1, 2023 by Wiseman2

[Gaeta]

Am l the only dog owner here.

Being a dog owner does not make short dates. We know how to organize ourselves to have longer dates. 

Most dog owners are very sensitive when it comes to their dog and any act of understanding, like offering to walk with us, is huge.

OP you did win a bunch of points when you offered to go walk the dog. It's an excellent first date to be out and about, we - dog owners - enjoy the outdoor a thousand time over a coffee shop. 

[basil67]

5 hours ago, Keeves1 said:

Yeah I should have not asked her that... But my intentions were not to be rude. I thought 15 minutes is enough time to follow her home and then take the bus home. Should I apologize to her? 

Following her home is creepy.  Offering to walk her home is gentlemanly, as long as she gives you permission

[Alpacalia]

Sounds like a sweet date.

We have to chronicle this as the "escapades of Rory and Hanny!"

Don't need to overthink offering to walk her home. She's laid-back and friendly, perfectly fine with chilling until your bus arrives. Although, if she had a car or something, walking her to her car might have been a nice touch. Following her home is a bit quantum leap!

Oh, by the way, how did her dog respond? What was her pup's take on all the chatting and those extended walks?

It's pretty cool that you hung out with her and her beloved, and the conversations just went smoothly. That's definitely a positive indication.

[JTSW]

You overthink too much.

Just relax and go with the flow.

Let her decide on where and when to meet so she is comfortable.

[Keeves1]

10 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

Oh, by the way, how did her dog respond? What was her pup's take on all the chatting and those extended walks?

It's pretty cool that you hung out with her and her beloved, and the conversations just went smoothly. That's definitely a positive indication.

The dog really liked it! He was so happy to see me and was very cuddly. During the walk the dog was doing what dog usually do like sniffing n stuff. When we came on top of the hill we sat on the bench to take a little break. The dog came and sat next to me sometimes  At the end it seemed like the dog was tired and was laying on the ground so I came to pet the dog a few times before I said goodbye but he stretched he's arm out and Rory told me that he liked it and wants your attention. So I was very more than willing to cuddle with the dog last time before the bus came. 

I really like dogs too!

[Alpacalia]

1 hour ago, Keeves1 said:

The dog really liked it! He was so happy to see me and was very cuddly. During the walk the dog was doing what dog usually do like sniffing n stuff. When we came on top of the hill we sat on the bench to take a little break. The dog came and sat next to me sometimes  At the end it seemed like the dog was tired and was laying on the ground so I came to pet the dog a few times before I said goodbye but he stretched he's arm out and Rory told me that he liked it and wants your attention. So I was very more than willing to cuddle with the dog last time before the bus came. 

I really like dogs too!

Oh? I'm so glad you had such a great time bonding with the dog and it sounds like you made a connection with him. I wonder if Rory was jealous of all the attention you were giving the adorable pup. ; -- )

You two definitely have natural chemistry and it only leaves me wanting to know what future activities the two of you will come up with.

[Keeves1]

2 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

 I wonder if Rory was jealous of all the attention you were giving the adorable pup. ; -- )

Hahaha this comment 🤣 I'll hope not but I could always give Rory more attention later 😉 Yeah I'm also curious to see what the future holds for both of us  

[Keeves1]

Small update: 

I’m trying to ask her out on 2nd date this wednesday. It’s been a week since then but her responds was:

«i’m not sure yet, the days can be very long because of the economy» 

I have not answered her yet but I have a feeling she’s not interested really 

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, Keeves1 said:

Small update: 

I’m trying to ask her out on 2nd date this wednesday. 

Why not let her pick the date time and place? Unfortunately she may be busy with work or short on money.

If she doesn't pick another time, simply leave the ball in her court with "ok, let me know when you would like to meet up" then drop it until she contacts you.

[Gaeta]

8 hours ago, Keeves1 said:

i’m not sure yet, the days can be very long because of the economy» 

What does it have to do with anything?

I'm afraid she is not interested. Usually when we take time to create a dating profile it's that we have time to introduce someone in our lives, right. 

[Keeves1]

4 hours ago, Gaeta said:

What does it have to do with anything?

I'm afraid she is not interested. Usually when we take time to create a dating profile it's that we have time to introduce someone in our lives, right. 

Sadly, yes it seems like she is not interested and are using her work as an excuse to not make time for 2nd date. If that’s the case then atleast I have tried but I’m willing to wait couple of weeks more and see if she’s messaging me about the 2nd date

[Alpacalia]

Yeah that response doesn't sound encouraging. I'd view it as an indication that she may not be interested in another date and graciously conclude the conversation. Keeping the door open to future contact is an option, letting her reach out if she has a change of heart. After all, there's that sought pizza date with the other woman to anticipate.🍕

[Keeves1]

57 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

Yeah that response doesn't sound encouraging. I'd view it as an indication that she may not be interested in another date and graciously conclude the conversation. Keeping the door open to future contact is an option, letting her reach out if she has a change of heart. After all, there's that sought pizza date with the other woman to anticipate.🍕

Yes! It is actually the first time I have not been able to score a 2nd date.. wonder what went wrong 🤔👀 

Me and Rory have actually been talking a bit today. Just a small talk really nothing special in particular. 

I sent her a generic snap that I was at work and she answered with «watching anime at work? Is it that quiet?»

and yeah we started to talk about her dog as she was about to go out. 

I was trying to connect or have small talk with her about dogs in general

[Sony12]

First time I have ever heard someone use the 'economy' as an excuse to not go on a second date, lol. Whatever happened the the old fashioned 'I'm busy that day'. 

The 'economy' didn't stop her from going on a first date. Wonder if she is someone that dates that much?