Why does this guy avoid me?

[NJooo]

So how it went was that this person was very rude and judgmental towards me in the past and I sent the person a message and I cut ties with them, cut them off. I explained why and then blocked them after. To this day I don't know if they read my message or not because I blocked them immediately after. Now in a public setting every time they see me they hurry up and pass really fast shifting their eyes to the floor as though they couldn't look at me or something. Also if I'm around socializing with people they will stay inside if I'm outside to avoid me. Why is this person behaving like this? Kind honest responses only, and please don't ask why I care. I am just wondering why is this person displaying this kind of behavior. I carry on like normal but it seems as though they are doing this so obviously and I don't know why. As I mentioned kind, honest, respectful responses only thank you, so what is wrong with this person?

Edited September 2, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
shorten title

[MsJayne]

You called them out, they're embarrassed. Probably afraid you'll bring up their past behaviour in front of others. If you're the one who cut ties why would you expect them to do anything other than avoid you? 

[NJooo]

6 minutes ago, MsJayne said:

You called them out, they're embarrassed. Probably afraid you'll bring up their past behaviour in front of others. If you're the one who cut ties why would you expect them to do anything other than avoid you? 

makes sense

[basil67]

You told him you want nothing to do with him, so he's honoring your wishes

[glows]

This really depends as well on your tone and what was said when you cut them off. If you had been harsh and unkind, impatient or unreasonable it’s fairly obvious this person wants zero contact with you to avoid being mistreated or disrespected. They are doing everything possible to have absolutely nothing to do with you. I understand you think this person was rude and judgmental but it may go both ways.

There is also the possibility that they just don’t like your company or never did but just don’t have to pretend anymore. This person is going about their life without thinking about this at all. Zero fs given. They’re only interested in what matters to them and you’re not part of that. 

And third there is the possibility that you were fair and respectful and this person wants to give you space because they think you’re hurt or still hurting over something that transpired between the both of you - romantic or otherwise, a break up or falling out, etc.

Do you miss this person? Why not apologize if you misspoke and find out for yourself if there has been a misunderstanding?

 

Edited September 2, 2023 by glows

[La.Primavera]

I'm not sure why his behavior surprises you.  It seems like the most logical result if you were going to run into each other.  What did you think was going to happen?  You blocked him and prevented him from responding.   

Personally, I'd take his behavior as the best possible outcome in the situation.  He didn't confront you about it, belittle you, or act with any hostility, right?  Perhaps you were hoping there would be an attempt to mend things with you.  If that was your hope, blocking him probably wasn't the best idea of achieving what you wanted.

It sounds like you don't like confrontation based on how you handled the situation with him and also by the rules you set out for anyone replying to this post.  I'm not judging you for that.  I just think that it might be relevant.  You might be trying to avoid getting hurt by avoiding confrontation, but you're also making it difficult for someone to have an honest and open dialogue with you.  Maybe that is what you needed to have with him.  Even if it was just for closure.

Only you will know if there is any truth to that.  If not, then just remind yourself that you did the right thing and stick by your decision.

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, missnini said:

 I cut ties with them, cut them off. I explained why and then blocked them after. 

Do you work or go to school together? How often do you have to run into each other? It seems like he's respecting your boundaries and staying away from you. 

[NJooo]

7 hours ago, glows said:

This really depends as well on your tone and what was said when you cut them off. If you had been harsh and unkind, impatient or unreasonable it’s fairly obvious this person wants zero contact with you to avoid being mistreated or disrespected. They are doing everything possible to have absolutely nothing to do with you. I understand you think this person was rude and judgmental but it may go both ways.

There is also the possibility that they just don’t like your company or never did but just don’t have to pretend anymore. This person is going about their life without thinking about this at all. Zero fs given. They’re only interested in what matters to them and you’re not part of that. 

And third there is the possibility that you were fair and respectful and this person wants to give you space because they think you’re hurt or still hurting over something that transpired between the both of you - romantic or otherwise, a break up or falling out, etc.

Do you miss this person? Why not apologize if you misspoke and find out for yourself if there has been a misunderstanding?

 

i wasn't harsh, i actually was minding my own business and got humiliated by this person in front of other people once because he thought that I was ignoring him when in reality I wasn't, I just didn't hear the person. This person used to stare at me and just sit there an look dead at me, why I don't know.  This person is also known for their childish antics and acts like a kid even though they are a grown man. The reason why I cut them off is because they belittled some medical things that I was dealing with and made it seem as though what I was going through medically was of no importance, that's when I started keeping my distance. I did however at one point reach out to try to make peace, but I decided to change my mind and just cut this person off because of the negative behaviors they had shown in the past. Other people that know me have experienced negative interaction with this person as well. So it just go to a point where I was like hey I'm not going back to a place where i'm mistreated and I spoke my truth and blocked them. 

Edited September 2, 2023 by missnini

[NJooo]

4 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Do you work or go to school together? How often do you have to run into each other? It seems like he's respecting your boundaries and staying away from you. 

Yeah its a school environment that we are in. I'm not the only one who has had issues with his behavior. He acted very immature in our classes alot giggling like a child and also would stare at me weird, just looking dead at me, not sure why. He got mad once and lashed out at me in a class because he thought I was ignoring him. If I was holding a conversation with someone else, he would try to insert himself in it. There was one time I caught him just looking up at me giggling uncontrollably for no reason. This all happened before it got to the point where I blocked him. Even right before I blocked him I told him that I wished him nothing but the best and after that I blocked him. 

[Wiseman2]

5 minutes ago, missnini said:

. He got mad once and lashed out at me in a class because he thought I was ignoring him. 

If he continues to be a problem please contact your teachers and school admiration. 

[NJooo]

Just now, Wiseman2 said:

If he continues to be a problem please contact your teachers and school admiration. 

We already did. He lashed out at me last semester and this semester he got moved to a different class. I requested not to be in the same class as him. He was a problem at times and for some of the other students too. 

[NuevoYorko]

You answered your own question. 

[stillafool]

After reading the above responses the only reason I can think that this guy is ignoring you is frankly, he just doesn't like you.  It's okay, I'm sure you're doiing fine without him in your life.  Just ignore him back, stop looking at him when he comes around, and you won't see him ignoring you.

[Alvi]

OP, this person is doig what you asked him to do. He got the memo that you don't want to be his friend and he is avoiding you.

[NJooo]

35 minutes ago, stillafool said:

After reading the above responses the only reason I can think that this guy is ignoring you is frankly, he just doesn't like you.  It's okay, I'm sure you're doiing fine without him in your life.  Just ignore him back, stop looking at him when he comes around, and you won't see him ignoring you.

Yes I'm doing fine if you read my responses above it will give more detail into the things I had to deal with from that person before I just completely cut them off. 

[NuevoYorko]

When you completely cut a person off, what exactly do you expect from them?  I'm sincerely curious.

[Lotsgoingon]

Ok, your question suggests you don't understand that his reaction is natural, typical. He feels rejected and possibly shamed. So he avoids you, aggressively, obnoxiously so.

Which has me wondering: do you want him to speak to you? 

[basil67]

Why did you ask the question?  I'm wondering how we can help you

[NJooo]

3 hours ago, Lotsgoingon said:

Ok, your question suggests you don't understand that his reaction is natural, typical. He feels rejected and possibly shamed. So he avoids you, aggressively, obnoxiously so.

Which has me wondering: do you want him to speak to you? 

For me i've been in situations where I no longer spoke to someone and was in his shoes and I carried on as though nothing happened but I understand exactly what you mean and no I don't wish to speak with him because I don't think that would be the best thing to do. He is known to act really childish like a child and blow things out of proportion so no I won't. Thank you for your response

[NJooo]

53 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Why did you ask the question?  I'm wondering how we can help you

I just didn't understand his reactions that all. Thank you for your response

[ExpatInItaly]

He doesn't like you, so he avoids you now. 

[glows]

School is a super tiny environment in the big picture of life.. I’m sure it doesn’t feel good knowing some rude dude doesn’t like you back or ignores you. You know his track history and behavioural issues so don’t take this personally any more. It’s not ok to shame anyone for anything, medical or otherwise. You know that and it’s good you stood your ground. 

Now just leave him alone and don’t let this get to you. Don’t feel bad about what you did or think you can change him. 

Edited September 3, 2023 by glows

[stillafool]

23 hours ago, missnini said:

Yes I'm doing fine if you read my responses above it will give more detail into the things I had to deal with from that person before I just completely cut them off. 

Well you were right to cut him off if he was lashing out to you and the other students.  Since that was last semester why are you still caring about him?  It's over, be glad he's staying out  of your way and you do him the favor of  staying out of his. 

[ShyViolet]

On 9/2/2023 at 1:58 AM, missnini said:

Now in a public setting every time they see me they hurry up and pass really fast shifting their eyes to the floor as though they couldn't look at me or something. Also if I'm around socializing with people they will stay inside if I'm outside to avoid me. 

Based on this I'm going to guess that he did read and receive your message cutting him off and letting him know why.  It's pretty obvious.

I'm not sure what you are confused about, or why you are surprised by this?

[JTSW]

If this person was such an ass to you then you should be relieved his is avoiding you.

Looking back at your past posts, you don't like to have any grudges so it's obvious you were hoping for a different outcome.

I think you were hoping he would make amends with you but he clearly doesn't want anything to with you and that bothers you.

Don't waste your time worrying about it.