How would you feel?

[JTSW]

2 minutes ago, magonzalezam said:

JTSW

Yes, we have spoken. She insist nothing happened between them, Nore were there any feelings for him. She apologized for the text. She said it meant nothing.  

I'm still upset about all this................ 

Then as jakobslander suggested, she needs to remove him from her social media and contacts.

[Jakobslander]

On 9/20/2023 at 6:02 AM, magonzalezam said:

JTSW

Yes, we have spoken. She insist nothing happened between them, Nore were there any feelings for him. She apologized for the text. She said it meant nothing.  

I'm still upset about all this................ 

That is called "minimizing," and it is behavior cheaters tend to engage on when confronted. I'm not saying she did do anything with the guy. I am merely saying she is putting herself in a place usually occupied by people who minimize, trickle-truth and evade scrutiny (meaning cheaters).

If there was anything there, NOW she will not tell you. She's going to go off-grid Amish style. It's OK though, you were going to have to stop asking her things eventually anyway. Pay attention to her actions. 

The only thing you can do now is ask her to stop all communications with the guy and do sporadic checks on her (without her knowledge of course). Show up at her workplace unannounced once in a while. Check her phone while she's in the shower. If you want to make sure she's not trying to rekindle old flames you will have to play police for a while. Once you've heard enough (or nothing at all) you can then make a decision.  

Edited September 22, 2023 by Jakobslander

[Rusty78]

On 9/2/2023 at 2:04 PM, magonzalezam said:

 She slept in a tent with my friend/ roommate. She said nothing happened; it was his fault for not trying. 

She is minimizing this under damage control. As this is 17 years later, this is a lie by omission. You didn't need to know as you were not there. Where else has she done the same?

Now you need to do damage control, what is real, what is not? Talking to her will only muddy the waters, you need as much proof as you can get.

-Tell her nothing, listen closely, ask questions.

-DNA test your 2 kids. You need facts. 

-Dig as much as you can for the truth.

An on-line poll found 65% of women have a "Plan B" man. Most husband's know the back up or "Plan B", the husband just doesn't know he has a replacement.  Another poll women cheated on marriage nearly or over 50%.

Your life with your wife might be a total lie. Gather the facts where you can.

Women don't view sex the same as men, they can't. Women know who's children they have. Without DNA test, men can only hope.

PS: If you were your roommate years ago, and she slipped into the tent, what would you do? What incentive is there for your wife to tell the truth?