Jtomzs Posted September 6, 2023 Share Posted September 6, 2023 ⭐️Opinions please ⭐️ I’m always overly cautious with travel documents and passports when I travel anywhere. They never leave my side. We were traveling by car and ferry over the English boarder. We got back into the car about to arrive into France and I couldn’t find our passports anywhere. I searched the car, I asked my partner. Then frantically I called my sister asking her help. Meanwhile my son is in the back seat asking if we were still going to Disney, clearly worried that he may not get his holiday. My partner even asked if I was okay because I looked stressed and if I wanted a cuddle and I said I’m okay it is what it is, let’s see what happens. I’d say this all went on for half an hour. I said I don’t know how I’ve done this, this isn’t like me at all. How have I let this happen!? Then as we approach to leave my partner pulls them out. He had them all this time. Now, I can understand if it was a one minute joke, but I called my sister asking for assistance, my son was worried and he still carried this ‘joke’ on. He then has a go at me for not being able to ‘take a joke’ continuously. None of my family/friends found this funny. I didn’t. My son didn’t. Yet he says his friends/family would. would any of you find this to be a joke!? And how would you react? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted September 6, 2023 Share Posted September 6, 2023 3 minutes ago, Jtomzs said: ⭐️he then has a go at me for not being able to ‘take a joke’ continuously. None of my family/friends found this funny. I didn’t. My son didn’t. How long have you been together? Is he the father? Sadistic jokes that stress out children are not funny. Trust your friends and family. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jtomzs Posted September 6, 2023 Author Share Posted September 6, 2023 Two years. It’s been very turbulent. I know it’s not right or funny. I just wanted to understand other people’s perceptions. Because I apparently have no sense of humour. Thank you for your response ☺️ Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted September 6, 2023 Share Posted September 6, 2023 I think of jokes as they are meant to bring joy and laughter, not add to anxiety and worry. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jtomzs Posted September 6, 2023 Author Share Posted September 6, 2023 He’s not the father no Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted September 6, 2023 Share Posted September 6, 2023 I would absolutely not find this funny at all. What he did was cruel putting you into panic and making your son feel heartbroken that he might not get to disney. Your partner needs to take a long hard look at himself and grow up. Why are you with an immature idiot like this? 5 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted September 6, 2023 Share Posted September 6, 2023 8 minutes ago, Jtomzs said: He’s not the father no Please end things. There's no reason to be with someone who thinks it's funny to stress out your child. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 6, 2023 Share Posted September 6, 2023 I'm sorry he did that to you. No one needs added, unnecessary stress in their lives. I would break up with him. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted September 6, 2023 Share Posted September 6, 2023 I can see why he’d think it’s funny but the average person would likely have a bit more compassion. It is very odd that he’d let you remain in discomfort and suffer believing you’re to blame, and then let it affect everyone else’s experience too. I think most people would have let that thought pass - seems funny in passing and a bad idea in reality. He didn’t have that reality check which leads me to wonder if he could be just as cold and uncaring if there’s a situation that benefits him but no one else. Would he take advantage of any of you just to appease his sense of humour in the future? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jtomzs Posted September 6, 2023 Author Share Posted September 6, 2023 He makes jokes and comments at my expense frequently. Everything is said as a ‘joke’ but can be very offensive. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted September 6, 2023 Share Posted September 6, 2023 Pranks are "cute" or at least should be, particularly for a spouse/lover. What you describe sounds like mild abuse disguised as humor. Be firm in not tolerating this or allowing further escalation. Possibly he's seen some of this on e.g. Youtube channels where people do stuff like this for views. Those folks do it for money, and for all we know the partner is in on and/or consenting the whole time. In your case it was just a sort of emotional sadism. The internet seems to be really good at normalizing dysfunction, unfortunately. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 6, 2023 Share Posted September 6, 2023 12 minutes ago, Jtomzs said: He makes jokes and comments at my expense frequently. Everything is said as a ‘joke’ but can be very offensive. Of course it can. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted September 6, 2023 Share Posted September 6, 2023 3 hours ago, Jtomzs said: He makes jokes and comments at my expense frequently. Everything is said as a ‘joke’ but can be very offensive. Well now the ball is in your court. Why are you allowing this? When are you going to put an end to this? You have a child in this situation. This is not okay. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted September 6, 2023 Share Posted September 6, 2023 4 hours ago, Jtomzs said: He makes jokes and comments at my expense frequently. Everything is said as a ‘joke’ but can be very offensive. This is abusive. Once a man upsets your child, especially deliberately, he needs to be thrown out of your life permanently. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted September 7, 2023 Share Posted September 7, 2023 15 hours ago, Jtomzs said: Two years. It’s been very turbulent. I know it’s not right or funny. I just wanted to understand other people’s perceptions. Because I apparently have no sense of humour. Thank you for your response ☺️ This wasn’t something that was “funny”! it shows he is capable of being cruel and mean! I would have ended it right there! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted September 7, 2023 Share Posted September 7, 2023 16 hours ago, Jtomzs said: He makes jokes and comments at my expense frequently. Everything is said as a ‘joke’ but can be very offensive. Again, why are you with him? If all he does is crap like this then dump his ass. Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted September 7, 2023 Share Posted September 7, 2023 Yep, definitely passive-aggressive. Not even vaguely funny. Maybe he did it because he's immature and a bit very socially challenged, or maybe he did for more sinister reasons. Either way, he doesn't sound like a very good catch. After two years of a "turbulent" relationship, being frequently made the butt of rude jokes and put-downs, and then being gas-lit by his accusations that you have no sense of humour, you must be exhausted. I am just from reading about him. My opinion is that you should end the relationship before he sends you over the edge and you end up giving him blunt force trauma. Link to post Share on other sites
IrinaM Posted September 23, 2023 Share Posted September 23, 2023 The whole "it was just a joke!" thing is a very typical abuser tactic. Nothing unique here. My guess is that your relationship isn't "turbulent" it's just abusive (to you). Please leave this man. Exposing your son to this normalizes abuse and increases the likelihood that he will become abusive as an adult. Recommended reading: Why does he do that? by Lundy Bancroft and anything by Dina McMillan Abusers follow common patterns, they aren't unique. Try reading about their common patterns and I think your eyes will be opened. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 24, 2023 Share Posted September 24, 2023 On 9/6/2023 at 11:40 AM, Jtomzs said: He makes jokes and comments at my expense frequently. Everything is said as a ‘joke’ but can be very offensive. He just says they are jokes when he knows there's truth behind his words. Behind every joke is a thought. Link to post Share on other sites
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