Is it possible to get Ex back?

[Acacia98]

19 hours ago, Keeves1 said:

1. I know. I say alot of hurtful words when I’m angry or if I’m stressed

2. She did not ask me to stop. She says that it is fine that I come to her to complain but tht she want me to keep it consistent. I did it almost everyday and at the end she told me to stop.

3. I asked her is she wanted anything from the grocery shop and she said no but when I came home she did expect that atleast I could think of her and buy a snack or whatever. But that is one example. When she is out with her best friends she often times come home and are bringing me funko pop (collectible figures) that cost around 30$. I think she means that I also could spend around the same amount of money if I’m out with friends and buy her things like that. 
 

4. No because everytime I called her out on it she is always saying «you need to stop thinking negative. Why would I joke in an offensive way or say it is joke to minimize harm?» and proceeds to say: «I’m your GF I don’t do jokes like that» 

I was the one who took her joke seriously so she stopped eventually but how do I seperate if it is a pure joke or if that joke is harmful?

5. I don’t have a big heart because when we are arguing or have fight I’m the one who take longer time to recover. Sometimes in a fight she suddendly stops saying anything and I get it, she does that to not make me even more furious but it does not work and I get angry. Sort of difficult to come with an example here though 

6. Yes not only did I disturb her sleeping but when we have made plans to go out for example she is always ready before me. She hates to run down to get to the train and she likes to walk and have good time to catch the train. She always end up waiting for me because I take much longer to get ready lol

I went on a date while she were still in the moving process so that is another example of me not being respectful to her

I'm so glad that @basil67 responded to your list of your perceived flaws item by item because your response to her confirms something I suspected: You were not the only one who had issues in this relationship.

I agree with those who say that you had selfish traits. But I also think your ex was being a bit unreasonable in (3). I mean, you actually asked her if you could get her something and she said "No." Your asking if she wanted something was a considerate action. Her saying "No" then expecting you to figure out that she meant something different was a bit much.

In (4), I have no idea whether her jokes were insensitive or not. If you have difficulty figuring out whether her jokes were hurtful, you can try posting some examples here and we'll tell you what we think.

[JTSW]

8 hours ago, Keeves1 said:

Questions: There will be my birthday soon (22nd november) and christmas and the new years. I don't know if Maria would congratulate me on my birthday but if she are then I'm just going to write "Thank you" and nothing more. The questions is: Should I send her a message saying "Merry Christmas" and "Happy new year"? Will that break the no contact rule?

I don't think she will send you any messages and definitely don't send her any messages. 

[Keeves1]

10 hours ago, S2B said:

Work on your deficiencies for a solid year before you consider trying to partner up with someone again.

some of the things you listed are basically selfish traits. Can you learn how to be kind AND thoughtful to others?

if you can’t then you shouldn’t try partnering up with anyone.

work on improving yourself. I say that kindly ❤️

@S2BI'm trying my best to work on the things that I need to be better at but to be honest I don't know HOW. I mean I don't have anyone to talk to since my parents are not helping much. Only people I talk to are my friends but I cannot ask them to help to get better can I? It's not their problem to worry about.

I hope I can learn to be both kind and thoughtful to other. As of now I don't know yet. 

[Keeves1]

10 hours ago, Gaeta said:

@Keeves1 : search for a support group or ask your medical clinic if they know supports groups. 

Google: seperation/divorce support group near me and l'm sure you'll find something.

Don't think of xmas, you'll cross that bridge when you get there. Concentrate on today.

@Gaeta That is something that have not crossed my mind, Thanks you! 🙌