Wasting my time or not?

[MidnightAura81]

I am a 42 (M) who works in healthcare. In 2021 I took a new job in a different area. I lasted 2 days, before I went back to my old job. I noticed a guy there, who was a nurse. I instantly was like DAMN!!! Who is that. FF summer 2021 we became facebook friends. We got closeish and we sometimes chit chat at work when I am on his ward delivering medications. I do have a crush on him; but I haven't said anything. I have shared those silly OMG things on Facebook. Some of have been your soulmate is a Gemini; or you soulmates first initial is M. The person in question is Marc and he is a Gemini. Back in July I went to an SOS healthcare event, and he showed up after I did. I did not know he was going to be there. It felt like Kismet. Anyways we were there and I asked him "If I bother him too much on messenger". He said "No". He told me "He was working on himself, and not looking for anything right now". FYI I don't know his sexual preference. 

I am upset with Marc and I want to share some of our conversations on messenger. 

Me I’m going out to sing karaoke tonight you are most welcome to come and see me sing. My friend Sherry is the host tonight. She’s awesome. If your busy no worries. 

Marc I have a bad cold right now

Me For me spicy soup helps." "Hot and sour from Jadeland is the best I could bring some by and leave it outside your door and walk away. If you want. I did it for my friend Josh last winter when he was sick.

Marc Thank you, but I have SkipTheDishes I’m alright otherwise

To me it reeked of BS. I don't buy that he was sick, and I am legit psychic, and my vibes tell me he was lying. 

Then August 3, I asked him for a favour. I am a witch, and I am taking a class on Witchcraft. We had the following chat 

Me Hey buddy. I have a favour to ask. For my Thursday night class homework, I have to practice energy transfer ie. Reiki on someone. Basically I’d stand over you and hold my hands over your head or arms. Wear short sleeve t-shirt. You close your eyes and just tell me what you feel. That’s it. Nothing sexual, or weird. Just me sending (transferring) healing energy. Most people say it feels like standing by a warm heater. I’ve had this done on me before. It helps my sciatica. Apparently I was a white lighter and a healer in a past life. So I’m really trying to master this skill. Each group member has to practice a bit on one person. Like 5 minutes or so maybe 2x next week. If you’d be up for being my practice partner let me know. If not I completely understand and no hard feelings I’ll see if I can find someone else. Members of our grove practiced on each other during class and people were pretty impressed with my skill. I’m just going downstairs to sit with a friend in need, so I won’t respond until I’m back upstairs. Just let me know either way. Again if not I understand completely. I just thought of you cause your a frontline hero like me. I thought it would be nice to have a healthcare worker as a practice partner.

Marc I’d be happy to help

Me Thank you so much

Marc I was nervous to ask you. I can tell you more tomorrow before or after dinner.  (We were going to a birthday dinner for the guy who hosted the SOS healthcare event.)

less then an hour before I was going to leave he messages me the following

Hey. I’m sorry, but I cannot make dinner tonight because, I’m feeling exhausted. I hope you have a good time.

I also sent him some chapters on a book I'm writing on my life to get some feedback from him. He said "he'd love to read my book". He saw and read my messaged and didn't respond. It felt awkward to me. Even though my friends said he should be apologizing to me. I sent him a message and we had a brief conversation. 

Me Hello Marc. I wanted to apologize and clarify something. I wanted to come to you to practice my homework assignment, because of the noise in and around my apartment. Also, I was having a Pretty in Pink moment. You know the scene where Andie goes out with Blaine, and she doesn't want him to drive her home; because she doesn't want to him to see where she lives. Marc I'm not embarrassed to live in Centrertown; but I am embarrassed as all my furniture is mismatched hand me downs. With a few Ikea pieces. My cat Finn has wrecked the furniture and My place needs a lot of work. I can't afford to move out or buy some nice new furniture. I'm sorry if my wanting to come to you made you uncomfortable. Although I'm pretty sure my place is bigger than yours; ‘I’m sure yours is nicer than mine. I wanted to clarify that my classes each Thursday are on Witchcraft me and 6 other people all females are learning about the craft and how to use it for good. I already have been practicing for years, and this is to refresh myself on things, and get a better understanding on somethings. I sometimes work with gods and goddesses when I do spell work. I can show you something one time if you’re interested. I really enjoyed talking with you at that healthcare event. I’d like to hang out again sometime if you’re interested. As far as work goes. I don’t want to be in Pharmacy anymore. My knees and feet are killing me, and I know I need to start working out. I am going to reach out to people I know that do workout to give me some help, on where to start, what to do. I also want to finally learn how to swim. I have a pool in my place; but it’s been closed for 3 years. I heard Taggart (My Landlord) is not going to reopen it. Anyways sorry If I made you uncomfortable in any way. Your friend Jared

Marc Hi ___ No worries my friend . I’ve been busy with my move, so it’s been quite a month. I’d like to help you with your Reiki work sometime, but I’m very allergic to pets, so I couldn’t go over to your apartment?

Me Finn sheds everywhere

So I don’t think so

I could vacuum like mad but I don’t know if it would be enough.

In my book I have a chapter where my friends write about our friendship. 

I sent Marc this message 

Marc…. Would you want to write a bit about our friendship for my book. When your not busy. I know we haven’t known each other too long. It could be observations about me at work. Anything. It doesn’t have to be long . I’m asking a lot of people from different parts of my life from the last 40+ years to contribute to the chapter attached below. If not it’s ok no hard feelings.

I am upset as I always initiate conversations on Messenger. He hasn't so far. He reads my messages but doesn't always respond; or takes forever to respond.  IMHO it makes things weird and makes me feel that I'm bothering him. He's not mean to me. I just find this behaviour kind of rude; I'd like to be friends with him maybe more if he felt the same way. If not friendship is fine. 

Am I wrong to feel slighted by the excuses, reading and not always responding to my messages. I get the impression he doesn't have a lot of friends, and that he doesn't go out much. I don't think I should have to chase a friendship. It shouldn't be this hard to get someone to hang out, and do the favour they said they'd be happy to do.

Am I wasting my time pursuing a friendship with Marc. Why do you guys think he is so wishy washy?

Edited September 7, 2023 by MidnightAura81
fixing it up.

[glows]

Do you have romantic feelings towards him? You noticed he was attractive at work and said early in your post you have a crush. So why say you want a friendship as it’s misleading and you’re coming across as desperate and unprofessional. I mean this kindly. I don’t think he’s interested in hanging out with you at all - he is just trying to be polite due likely to the fact that you work together. In every instance he is avoiding running into you outside work hours.

I think instead of saying he’ll help you he should just have ignored your messages if he wasn’t interested. I agree with you that he seems wishy washy as his messages don’t align with his actions. 

When in doubt read actions not words. Actions speak louder. If a person doesn’t make the time for you or appears distracted and just not interested, they likely are not interested at all. I would not initiate any messages further on Messenger or otherwise. He mentioned being sick and recently moving. If he really wanted to be in your life you would be spending time together but that isn’t the case. Let this go before it affects your job or classes.

By the way aren’t we all witches? I have the mindset that every person is capable of transferring energies with the ability to transform themselves and others. Your time is valuable and also your energies - use these for people and events that give back to you and are mutually beneficial, respectful to others who prefer not to maintain much contact or don’t see eye to eye. 

[basil67]

Th problem here is that you’re chasing friendship wth someone who’s not as enthusiastic as you.  As much as we may be fond of someone, it doesn’t always translate into them being equally fond of us.  I suggest you back off and let it drop to being casual mates. 

May I ask with having words from other people in your autobiography?  It should be a memoir of your own life experience.  Not a collection of stories that you’re asking people to write about you.  I worry that those around you may view you as conceited and this is making them avoid you.

Lastly, given that you haven’t already recognised that Marc is not as keen as you, I would say that your psychic abilities need some work. 

[Alpacalia]

Seems like a bit of a wild goose chase, doesn't it? And it's leaving you all lovelorn. I understand that you have strong feelings for him, but my take is that Marc isn't looking for a deeper connection beyond casual acquaintanceship.

The book is interesting, and it's not something you commonly ask your friends to do—write about your friendship. It's a significant request, and it could be a bit surprising. Marc might be feeling a bit uneasy and uncertain about your intentions, especially because you've broached topics that could be interpreted romantically. Moreover, while "witchcraft" discussions can be intriguing, they're not the usual fare for most people and might come across as somewhat intimidating.

You have to respect Marc's boundaries and give him space. It seems like he does read and respond to your messages, but he just isn't interested in taking things further than messaging.

It is okay to still be friends with him but just don't expect the same level of closeness or friendship as you may hope for.

There's no need to feel self-conscious about your living space. It seems like your cat has added a unique charm to it!

Edited September 7, 2023 by Alpacalia

[JTSW]

4 hours ago, MidnightAura81 said:

I am legit psychic

Yet you couldn't pick up on the fact that he has little to no interest in you.

I'll be honest, you sound rather pushy with him and he's trying to subtly hint for you to leave him alone.

[MsJayne]

5 hours ago, MidnightAura81 said:

Am I wasting my time pursuing a friendship with Marc. Why do you guys think he is so wishy washy?

Stare hard into your cauldron until the bubbling stops and the eye of newt settles to the bottom. When the waters are calm, chant the question, "Does Marc want me to back off and stop using my Reiki as an excuse to be alone with him?" three times and then you'll see the answer, "Hell Yes! He's not even slightly interested, he's just being polite" appear in glowing letters among the steam. If that fails, refer to your crystal ball and proceed as directed. 

[JTSW]

4 minutes ago, VPNash said:

you come off as really aggressive.

Completely agree.

[Wiseman2]

7 hours ago, MidnightAura81 said:

 FYI I don't know his sexual preference. 

It sounds like he's distancing himself for some breathing room. Try stepping back, you seem to be smothering him.

[MidnightAura81]

6 hours ago, glows said:

Do you have romantic feelings towards him? You noticed he was attractive at work and said early in your post you have a crush. So why say you want a friendship as it’s misleading and you’re coming across as desperate and unprofessional. I mean this kindly. I don’t think he’s interested in hanging out with you at all - he is just trying to be polite due likely to the fact that you work together. In every instance he is avoiding running into you outside work hours.

I think instead of saying he’ll help you he should just have ignored your messages if he wasn’t interested. I agree with you that he seems wishy washy as his messages don’t align with his actions. 

When in doubt read actions not words. Actions speak louder. If a person doesn’t make the time for you or appears distracted and just not interested, they likely are not interested at all. I would not initiate any messages further on Messenger or otherwise. He mentioned being sick and recently moving. If he really wanted to be in your life you would be spending time together but that isn’t the case. Let this go before it affects your job or classes.

By the way aren’t we all witches? I have the mindset that every person is capable of transferring energies with the ability to transform themselves and others. Your time is valuable and also your energies - use these for people and events that give back to you and are mutually beneficial, respectful to others who prefer not to maintain much contact or don’t see eye to eye. 

I do have feelings towards him; but I would never do anything inappropriate towards him. That's why I specifically asked 'If I was bothering him too much on Facebook, and why I apologized". I just feel like if he felt uncomfortable about my messages etc. Why not just let me know? Anyways I won't be messaging him anytime soon. I am not a stalker, and I don't want him to get that idea. 

[MidnightAura81]

29 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

It sounds like he's distancing himself for some breathing room. Try stepping back, you seem to be smothering him.

That's what I'm going to do. He is a genuinely nice guy; but it makes me feel like if he is this way with other people, than maybe that's why my vibes tell me he doesn't have a lot of friends. Why his last relationship ended badly. He isn't giving as much as he's getting from people. 

[MidnightAura81]

3 hours ago, Alpacalia said:

Seems like a bit of a wild goose chase, doesn't it? And it's leaving you all lovelorn. I understand that you have strong feelings for him, but my take is that Marc isn't looking for a deeper connection beyond casual acquaintanceship.

The book is interesting, and it's not something you commonly ask your friends to do—write about your friendship. It's a significant request, and it could be a bit surprising. Marc might be feeling a bit uneasy and uncertain about your intentions, especially because you've broached topics that could be interpreted romantically. Moreover, while "witchcraft" discussions can be intriguing, they're not the usual fare for most people and might come across as somewhat intimidating.

You have to respect Marc's boundaries and give him space. It seems like he does read and respond to your messages, but he just isn't interested in taking things further than messaging.

It is okay to still be friends with him but just don't expect the same level of closeness or friendship as you may hope for.

There's no need to feel self-conscious about your living space. It seems like your cat has added a unique charm to it!

Thanks. If I made him uncomfortable in any way I apologize; but I did ask him and apologize, and he didn't say anything to me about me making him uncomfortable. I will back off, and just keep it very casual at work. 

[MidnightAura81]

6 hours ago, basil67 said:

The problem here is that you’re chasing friendship wth someone who’s not as enthusiastic as you.  As much as we may be fond of someone, it doesn’t always translate into them being equally fond of us.  I suggest you back off and let it drop to being casual mates. 

May I ask with having words from other people in your autobiography?  It should be a memoir of your own life experience.  Not a collection of stories that you’re asking people to write about you.  I worry that those around you may view you as conceited and this is making them avoid you.

Lastly, given that you haven’t already recognised that Marc is not as keen as you, I would say that your psychic abilities need some work. 

This idea came from Aaron Spelling having Heather Locklear write about working for him on his shows Dynasty, and Melrose Place, in his memoire. It gave me the idea to have people write about our friendship.

Edited September 7, 2023 by MidnightAura81

[JTSW]

24 minutes ago, MidnightAura81 said:

This idea came from Aaron Spelling having Heather Locklear write about working for him on his shows Dynasty, and Melrose Place, in his memoire. It gave me the idea to have people write about our friendship.

But you barely know Marc so this was all a bit strange for you to ask.

[ExpatInItaly]

You're way too intense, OP. 

Dial it back. Stop messaging him. I think he is hoping you will take the hint and read between the lines when he's not very responsive toward you. 

5 hours ago, MidnightAura81 said:

if he is this way with other people, than maybe that's why my vibes tell me he doesn't have a lot of friends. Why his last relationship ended badly. He isn't giving as much as he's getting from people. 

You are making an awful lot of assumptions about a person you don't know well. Stop that. You have no clue how he is with other people or if he has freinds or why his last relationship ended poorly.

Your vibes are really not working if you couldn't already surmise that he doesn't want this sort of contact with you. It's clear as day and yet you somehow missed that. It might be time to stop relying on these vibes. They're misleading you. 

[Alpacalia]

5 hours ago, MidnightAura81 said:

Thanks. If I made him uncomfortable in any way I apologize; but I did ask him and apologize, and he didn't say anything to me about me making him uncomfortable. I will back off, and just keep it very casual at work. 

Like someone else said, you have to judge by actions and he's been very clear about not wanting to take your relationship further. At this point it would be best to accept his boundaries and move on, respecting his wishes. You mention "vibes" allot.

Vibes are nothing more than our own intuition and feelings, and they may not be accurate. Be kind to yourself and don't take it as a personal rejection but rather as a sign from Marc to stop pursuing him.

He said "He was working on himself, and not looking for anything right now" and has shown consistency in his behavior towards you.

So, take the idea of romantically being with him off the table.

[Els]

I hope this is a troll post but if it's not, you might get paid a visit from HR pretty soon.

(And for the love of god, STOP. Chasing someone at work is iffy at best, chasing someone who's so clearly not interested is bordering on workplace harassment. You are way over the top here.)

[stillafool]

7 hours ago, MidnightAura81 said:

I do have feelings towards him; but I would never do anything inappropriate towards him.

You already have and you need to back off.  He's not in the least interested.

[stillafool]

On 9/6/2023 at 11:37 PM, MidnightAura81 said:

To me it reeked of BS. I don't buy that he was sick, and I am legit psychic, and my vibes tell me he was lying. 

I don't understand why you kept pursuing this man after you realized he was lying so he didn't have to get together with you?  He was freaked out and I think part of it is because you are witch.  He may be afraid you might try to put cast a spell on him.  Seriously, I once went out with a guy that judged me as a witch because I had crystals hanging on my window (because I like the light they cast) and a large crystal on my coffee table.  He started talking about how he believes in Jesus and will not be pursuaded differently.  I fell out laughing and told him "so do I."  He said if you did you wouldn't worship these crystals.  I said "what?"  He then stood up and said he didn't think we should go ahead with the date because he could already tell we weren't compatible and he left.   So that may be what Marc is thinking about you, but one thing is clear, he's not interested.

[Alpacalia]

I dated someone with a wizard tattoo. I asked him about it once and he said, oh, I'll tell you about it later. I wonder if he thought I was too nosy or I just wasn't interested enough to hear about his magical journey.☹️

[stillafool]

2 minutes ago, Alpacalia said:

I dated someone with a wizard tattoo. I asked him about it once and he said, oh, I'll tell you about it later. I wonder if he thought I was too nosy or I just wasn't interested enough to hear about his magical journey.☹️

Nah, probably because he had a long story that led him to get the tattoo, but I'd wonder about that tattoo also.