My ex in a rebound engagement - keeps bugging me

[Sunday30]

My ex(f32) and me(f33) have been together for 8 years and has been our most serious relationship. We’ve known each other since high school and while we both dated men in the past we never had a very successful relationships with them. Also not that many other women either (I had a girlfriend before her, she only had some crushes a long time ago).

The last year or two she has been somewhat emotionally unavailable and we even discussed breaking up but we didn’t. She had an affair with a mentally unstable guy 5yrs ago but dumped him and got back to me after a few weeks. she said that they texted each other here and there later on, but nothing serious.

Last year we had a sort of “deal” which was unclear and she slept with some guy she knew from long ago, we thought we would break up but ended up mending things, yet the relationship lacked emotional and physical intimacy.

I felt like there was nothjng I can do about it anymore so I suggested we break up, although I was a bit emotionally unavailable at the moment and thought I would be fine but wasnt. I have been really sad about the whole situation for a long time actually.

In the next 2 weeks she started texting and skyping with somebody (week after the break up she checked with me if we are really broken up that she doesnt want tk be aline for the rest of her life) and then she was gone one day, a week later she called me from another country to tell me she was with the guy from 5 years ago, that she wants to be with him, that he gets her and she is moving in with him to that other country. Another 2-3 weeks later she came for her things, totally different vibe, like another person and said she was engaged to him. 
 

She said nothing to nobody, even her parents, she didnt even call her father who had a serious cancer surgery because she is mad at him and simply just ran off, without much explanation. 
 

There is more to the story, but it’s too long. She has always been complicated and unstable, not saying I am perfect, but I came to suspect she may have some light BPD along with her OCD, the guy she is with used to be into self-harm, but supposedly is now reformed.

In those 3 weeks together he has bought her an entire new wardrobe, pays for everything including trips around the country and to and from the country and agreed to buy her an engagement ring after she asked him if he wants to marry her.

When we last spoke she mostly put the responsibilty on me, as if she didnt have a say in the whole relationship. She also said she wasn’t over me and it wold take her months or years to process things.

 

So it buggs my ego and sense of reality, if you would indulge me please.. Im better, but some things just keep bugging me and Im curious about others opinion/experience.

 

Can this relationship of hers be legit?

Was I really such a bad match and this guy is ‘all that’ even though she hasn’t tried to get back with him until she had no other options?

She’s more on the avoidant side, but eventually often begged me not to leave her- despite having pushed me away already emotionally and physically… and now she just jumped into a rebound engagement a few weeks after 8yr relationship doing all the things she was either against or never mentioned wanting (living abroad, being married, going on trips..). Could she have really mourned the relationship before it was over and is now actually serious and emotionally available for this relationship?

It has always been hard to get her to open up and in general she was very slow to show emotions and even took her years to call me “love” even when we have already said to each other that we love each other. 
 

Classic displacement?

 

Im trying to focus on myself, but everything that happened was too fast, too shocking and I am still confused about some stuff.

 

 

 

 

[ExpatInItaly]

37 minutes ago, Sunday30 said:

Can this relationship of hers be legit?

Probably not, but your relationship with her also became very dysfunctional and not "legit" anymore either. 

You need to let her go. She is not going to offer you the sort of relationship you would like to have, and none of this is healthy for you. You shouldn't know all the details of her love life anymore. There is no need to keep in touch with. Even if she breaks up with this guy tomorrow, you and she will never be a stable, healthy match. 

Stop commmuicating with her. Focus on your own healing and understanding why you tolerated her nonsense for so long. 

[JTSW]

42 minutes ago, Sunday30 said:

Can this relationship of hers be legit?

Why does it matter to you if it is or isn't?

She's moved on and so should you.

[Sunday30]

We are not in touch anymore except for things in regards to the apartment.. 

I don’t know anything more than this, as we talked when she came for her things, I’m not trying to researxh more nor it js possible if I wanted to.

 

I know we are over.. I just find it hard to come to terms with it ending this way, after we’ve known each other for half our lives and she has always been special to me, we even met in  such strange way (twice)… and been together for so long.
 

Seems she is going out of her way to try and forget me… We never had a proper discussion about our relationship and she said she is dealing with this stuff over there with him (lol great..) and that we may be able to talk about it all in time.. which I mean, what is that good for  then… no thanks. I would rather she talk to me (or whoever she has a problem with) about our problems when the time is now, not when she creates a safe distance from it all with time and other people…

I am working on my healing, going to therapy etc. I just wish we both could have been more healthy before… 

Edited September 8, 2023 by Sunday30

[ExpatInItaly]

4 hours ago, Sunday30 said:

I just find it hard to come to terms with it ending this way, after we’ve known each other for half our lives and she has always been special to me, we even met in  such strange way (twice)… and been together for so long.

It will take time. Be patient with yourself as you adjust to not having her in your life. You were together a long time  - too long. It should have ended when she cheated on you. In time, I think you will see that this was never going to last and it needed to be over before it further damaged your self-esteem. 

4 hours ago, Sunday30 said:

We never had a proper discussion about our relationship

Sincere question, but what is there to talk about anymore? She treated you poorly and checked out ages ago. Someone who actually loved you wouldn't have behaved the way she did, Sunday. Which brings me to this question:

6 hours ago, Sunday30 said:

Could she have really mourned the relationship before it was over

Absolutely. She's been out the door emotionally since her first affair. 

[Sunday30]

It was actually pretty great after that affair for then next 3 years, it started going down-hill after covid. But yeah… we’ve had dormant problems for a while.. we met when we both had unresolved things.. she more than me I think. I don’t even know if it was really my fault, she was unhappy… I don’t even remember what happened, but she felt I treated her poorly… idk to be honest, my memory is bad, still, she chose to run away instead of solving problems with me. She always requiered very high amounts of attention, I just coudln’t sustain it at times.

[S2B]

Anyone that requires constant attention will never be a good partner - and will likely cheat to get it from many sources.

this does not ever make a good partner.

what have you learned from your therapy?

[Sunday30]

Therapy has been focused on repressed emotions also helped me to focus more on myself, was doing way worse a few weeks ago.

 

I still can’t believe what happened… she just became a different person within a few weeks..

 

It makes me wonder what was even real, how did she feel about me. Seems like she just turned into a regular straight gold-digger over night, suddenly lost interest in things she has been into and so many things she used to be against she is now fine with. Even has matching shoes with the guy now.. I feel sick. She kept saying how she hated men so often and never said she wanted a wedding and taking somebody’s surname she pretty mich laughed at, now she’s acting like some wannabe lady..

It makes me doubt everything, that’s the worst. I feel like our whole relationship has been a lie, yet she never managed to have a longer relationship with anybody else - by far. 
 

I have some sort of PTSD now, if I had trust issues with people, now I’m scared to get even remotely close to anyone.

Edited September 8, 2023 by Sunday30

[Sunday30]

20 hours ago, JTSW said:

Why does it matter to you if it is or isn't?

She's moved on and so should you.

It matters to me, because it would mean that she was lying to me how she felt about me for a long time amd that things I believed to be true weren’t and that I cannot trust or believe anything what I thought was something.

If it is bullshit, then things still make sense to me and I can see it as a desperate reaction to our break up and her just being lost and super insecure, which would mean she is still the same person, just pretending to be something else right now.

The whole thing threatens my sense of reality and identity. That’s what bothers me, I wouldn’t want her back after this.

[ExpatInItaly]

1 hour ago, Sunday30 said:

The whole thing threatens my sense of reality and identity

That's where you could benefit from some professional help. 

Being in a dysfunctional relationship with an unstable person can take a heavy toll and warp our sense of reality. We sometimes need guidance untangling our emotions and getting out of it. It sounds like you've been playing mind-games with yourself trying very hard to believe that this person cared for you a lot more than she really did. People who truly love you don't have affairs to begin with, let alone continue dabbling with third parties. What was this all about? 

23 hours ago, Sunday30 said:

we had a sort of “deal” which was unclear and she slept with some guy

What was this "deal" and was this her idea? If so, why did you go along with it? 

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, Sunday30 said:

The whole thing threatens my sense of reality and identity. That’s what bothers me.

Whatever she's up to now and whatever her choices are really has nothing to do with your identity or reality. Try to distance yourself from her and her life now. 

Even if her recent choices seem rash to you, it's not the real reason your relationship ended. It seems like you outgrew each other and she wanted to be with a man at this point in time.

[Sunday30]

1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said:

That's where you could benefit from some professional help. 

Being in a dysfunctional relationship with an unstable person can take a heavy toll and warp our sense of reality. We sometimes need guidance untangling our emotions and getting out of it. It sounds like you've been playing mind-games with yourself trying very hard to believe that this person cared for you a lot more than she really did. People who truly love you don't have affairs to begin with, let alone continue dabbling with third parties. What was this all about? 

- Well one part is, that we both met at the time in our lives where we were still figuring things out and she has a lot of unresolved childhood trauma and issues with her father, so I think she was unsure of her sexuality, plus she has this tendency to avoid problems and has addiction to attention and virtually any other feel good chemicals. I do admit, that I have my own struggles, so I have perhaps been a bad listener at times or too critical, though I don't really remember what our problems were at that time anymore..my memory is bad :// but she felt under-appreciated and that I don't listen I guess...though I feel like unless you pay attention to her 24/7 she will always feel like that, plus she tends to keep repeating a lot of stupid/dangerous behaviours so my patience hasn't been the best eventually....

I hoped it was a one off thing (that situation 5 yrs ago) and that we both learned from it and things would be good... and they were for a time... She has always been immature (traumatic childhood) and I was hoping that if I give her the space and opportunity to grow up, she would come to her senses. I've known her and loved her since we were 18 and we only had one another as our families weren't the best and we got along and were each other's family....  In some ways she did get better, but not in others. I too am insecure and it is why I am going to therapy atm and working on myself.

What was this "deal" and was this her idea? If so, why did you go along with it? 

The "deal" was more of a misunderstanding. I wouldn't have gone along with it, if I knew what the conversation meant. We had a discussion about things, because our relationship has been on the rocks for a while and I think she thought that she may want to be with a guy, but I think it was more about attention seeking and her endless need to fill up her feel good chemicals in any way possible, plus some daddy issues. And I don't recall the exact conversation, but it was about figuring out some stuff on our own, I just didn't know what she meant by it. She later apologised for the whole thing and after discussing breaking up, we sort of mended things, but she was still emotionally and physically distant with me by then and I didn't know why. I suspect she had built up some silent resentment partly based of reality (I found out she had a problem with my spending habits - I admit, I have a problem there, working on it now), partly based of her stories in her head or belief that I think are simply not reality, but she had no way of knowing some of that unless she tried. And after me trying to make things work for another few months, I got tired of trying to make it work with somebody who seemed to have given up on me, despite telling me she loved me and semi-frequently begging me not to leave her, but she didn't want to sleep with me anymore and the relationship was more like being two cute room-mates by then, which killed me. She was lost in her dark bubble, depressed and didn't know what she wanted or where the problem was, she refused to go out with me or other people most of the time and constantly sought some source of attention, by talking to anyone and everyone who would listen to her go on and on about politics and conspiracies for hours on end in which she got totally lost. I couldn't recognize her anymore.

After we broke up, she panicked a week later, checking if indeed we are broken up and that she doesn't intend on being alone for the rest of her life. The next week she vanished and a week later called me from another country to tell me she was with that guy from 5 years ago and wants to be with him now, that he "just gets her" and 3-4 weeks later she came back for her things as she has moved in with him and gotten engaged with him in that short time and had a vibe like a totally different person, suddenly she was doing all those things she wouldn't do with me anymore, said how "we" (she and him) now made fun out of people who talked about conspiracies, something she lived and breathed for 3 years and took so seriously and I could not get her to drop it for anything and suddenly she was ok with getting married, taking somebody's surname and looking up wedding dresses - all things she frequently put down since I've known her... 

So yeah it makes me question everything, because in just a few weeks a person I've known half my life suddenly turned into a seemingly different person and it makes me wonder what is going on here. I know she has psychological problems (avoidant attachment style, OCD and probably some degree of BPD - unstable moods, go away/don't leave me, crazy dreams that felt real to her etc.) and she has never been so close to anybody else in her life than with me (same with me) so I understand that even though she became distant it was a major shock to her, because we both thought we would be together for the rest of our lives and we were each other's home. Sadly love doesn't conquer all and trauma and insecurities and unresolved things will catch up with people sooner or later.

 

[ExpatInItaly]

2 minutes ago, Sunday30 said:

The "deal" was more of a misunderstanding. I

I read your description and still have no idea what this deal was. 

 

[Sunday30]

Just now, ExpatInItaly said:

I read your description and still have no idea what this deal was. 

 

I honestly don't know either - hence the misunderstanding (this was more than a year ago). It was about giving each other some space to figure out things about what we want on our own, but I didn't know that meant sleeping with other people, I guess we both understood it differently.

[ExpatInItaly]

2 minutes ago, Sunday30 said:

I honestly don't know either - hence the misunderstanding (this was more than a year ago). It was about giving each other some space to figure out things about what we want on our own, but I didn't know that meant sleeping with other people, I guess we both understood it differently.

So, if I understand correctly, you two agreed to take space from the relationship, but she wound up having sex with someone else? 

[Wiseman2]

6 minutes ago, Sunday30 said:

The "deal" was more of a misunderstanding. I wouldn't have gone along with it, if I knew what the conversation meant. We had a discussion about things, because our relationship has been on the rocks for a while and I think she thought that she may want to be with a guy

Unfortunately opening the relationship so she can explore her bisexuality was a mistake. If she wanted to do that, it would have been better to end it and let her "explore" on her own time without dragging your heart through it. 

It seems more like you dodged a bullet. 

[Sunday30]

On 9/9/2023 at 8:02 PM, Wiseman2 said:

Whatever she's up to now and whatever her choices are really has nothing to do with your identity or reality. Try to distance yourself from her and her life now. 

Even if her recent choices seem rash to you, it's not the real reason your relationship ended. It seems like you outgrew each other and she wanted to be with a man at this point in time.

I am as distant as I can be, I have no way of knowing really anything about her anymore and she is in another country.

Of course that what happened after the relationship isn't the reason the relationship ended. I wasn't talking about that, but since her behaviour is pretty crazy and so unexpected and 180 from how she's been up until now, it simply makes me question the nature of what we had and I just wonder if our relationship was fake or she is simply confused now and in shock and doing crazy stuff, but it's not that she didn't feel about me how she felt about me back then. 

I think she wants to try out her secret fantasy of being a housewife that doesn't have to do anything other in life except for cooking and being pretty, which sort of comes with a man, yeah. I get that she needs to figure this out for herself, it just makes me wonder what [ ]  were we, since I thought we wanted the same things and she basically spent her life thrashing exactly the type of person she is now, so I am baffled.

Edited September 11, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[ExpatInItaly]

I don't think you will ever be able to make sense of her motives. She sounds like quite an unstable woman. 

I also don't believe your whole relationship was fake, but  you had to know something was very wrong for her to be stepping out on you and exploring other people while not wanting to sleep with you anyore. That doesn't happen in solid, healthy relationships. 

Her current choices are just an extension of the dysfunction that seems to have been there for a long time, even if you didn't really want to admit it to yourself. 

[Sunday30]

3 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Unfortunately opening the relationship so she can explore her bisexuality was a mistake. If she wanted to do that, it would have been better to end it and let her "explore" on her own time without dragging your heart through it. 

It seems more like you dodged a bullet. 

Yeah... so people keep telling me and I've started looking at it like that too in a way... I just always felt like she is the love of my life, that we belong together, but we met as incomplete people and we kept trying to give each other space to sort out our s***, which at times became unconventional, but after we did, we still wanted to be together... when we had that "break" 5 years ago, that she was seeing this guy that she is with now, I had a thing with a friend of mine, but only because we were broken up at that moment and he meant nothing to me, I knew I wanted her back. We talked a lot and tried working on our problems and we got back together and the next 3 years were pretty awesome, then start of covid was ok to, but then it slowly started going down the hill and I suspect it was due to her isolating herself too much and then becoming unable to get some feel good chemicals in sufficient amount and probably started blaming me (unconsciously) for it, more than was really my fault and started fantasising about how it would be better in some fictional scenario she made up in her head and well after we broke up, this guy threw her a lifeline when she was most vulnerable and capitalised on it. I know how she tends to paint somebody in all rose colours when they give her some extra attention and well she doesn't deal well with unpleasant emotions, so off she went to replace me quickly to fill that whole in her life, not to mention he has money and she doesn't and would have nowhere to live, though I never wanted to kick her out or anything, it was her own decision to leave so abruptly. Still that made me feel so disappointed in her.... to do this even when she is "not over me" ... she left everything and everyone behind trying to forget it all and reinvent herself. She didn't even call her sick father who had a serious surgery, because she is mad at him and thinks he should be the one to call her... 

She behaved in ways that I simply cannot excuse and that don't fly with me. But I am still very heartbroken. We had a special bond, we've been through crazy stuff together, various job changes, her health problems, my health problems, ups and downs, great times, lots of growing up etc etc. and simply we never had anything like this with anybody else. So what she did really hurt me and my image of her and us. I am slowly starting to accept it, but it has only been 2 months since we broke up, so it is still very fresh for me.

[Sunday30]

1 minute ago, ExpatInItaly said:

I don't think you will ever be able to make sense of her motives. She sounds like quite an unstable woman. 

I also don't believe your whole relationship was fake, but  you had to know something was very wrong for her to be stepping out on you and exploring other people while not wanting to sleep with you anyore. That doesn't happen in solid, healthy relationships. 

Her current choices are just an extension of the dysfunction that seems to have been there for a long time, even if you didn't really want to admit it to yourself. 

I think I do understand her motives...after looking back at things and learning more about attachment styles and some psychology I simply understood, that her primary driver in life is fear of abandonment, coupled with this black hole that always makes her feel like she is hungry for dopamine/attention/something being on all time low she was basically like an addict who was desperate for a hit and after we broke up, this kicked in and over-rode every other feeling she had, basically a survival mode and now she feels half-good, because somebody gave her back the sense of security (hence the rash engagement imo) coupled with all the attention she is showering her with and chemicals from sex, she feels like this is what she wanted, but her real problems wasn't solved and it will eventually pop back up, this is just a huge band-aid. So I sort of wonder to what degree she really wanted to be with me or him for that matter... though our relationship grew organically for years and she never had this long relationship with anyone (neither have I), her new one is like cheating - as if you can pick a committed relationship of the shelf in a convenient store and just put it in the basket a pay for it.

Of course there was something very wrong, but I was trying to be understanding and she didn't know what was happening or wouldn't tell me ( I think she legit has no idea what is happening to her most of the time, because she doesn't understand how her brain chemistry controls her behaviour) and I was trying to be tolerant and patient (we have been together for long so attraction does fade somewhat...though it was too much) but it was really hurting me. One of the reasons why I ended it eventually. I didn't know what to do anymore or understand where the problem was.

I know you are right - I've always known she was troubled, I just thought I could handle it and help her, and for a long time I have to a large degree, she even said so herself, that she has no idea where she would be without me, maybe dead - is what she said once or twice. But I wasn't solid enough myself to keep handling this and also be able to live my life properly and work on things and simply couldn't sustain the level of attention she wanted, nor would that be the right thing to do. I was hoping that she would understand this stuff and start working on it, but I barely managed to get her to go to therapy 3 times, somewhere at the end of things so it was just too little too late...  she said she wants to go to therapy again and that she is working though her stuff with him now, which is like "great...glad he get's the more functional version of you after everything I've been through" but who knows if this will last, she feels good now with all the distractions and the new high, problems arise when she becomes low on dopamine and starts overindulging in her addictions. So...idk... I'm trying to let it all go, but it's been a huge part of my life, so it's not easy...

Talking to others helps, so thank you all for all the replies.

[stillafool]

Your ex always cheated on you with men.  I think they are who she really desires and was lying to you about it.  She's where she wants to be.  I'm sorry you're hurt but I don't see her coming back this time.

[Lotsgoingon]

Your focus is completely off here. You need to be running, running fast and far away from this relationship.

Instead, you seem addicted to the chaos of this relationship. That's the consequence of putting up with dysfunction for so many years--you get used to dysfunction. That addiction to chaos is also a consequence of what happens when you don't focus on your own life. You need to be getting involved with activities and groups and friends and having a blast away from her. Period.

But in your mindset right now, you don't exist independently of her. You don't have your own existence. 

You are so far down the hole of bad boundaries and entanglement. You don't want to CARE about what she's doing. She could be crowned the Queen of England. You don't want to care. Please try out therapy. You will feel so liberated to escape this nonsense. But you're down the hole quite a bit. You don't want to wait much longer to go get help because the climb back to sanity will be that much harder, that much longer. 

 

 

[Sunday30]

11 hours ago, stillafool said:

Your ex always cheated on you with men.  I think they are who she really desires and was lying to you about it.  She's where she wants to be.  I'm sorry you're hurt but I don't see her coming back this time.

Yeah, but when we were apart I also had a thing with men, but they never meant anything, it was just for sex. And I know that what she is mainly after is attention, always has been and men are eager to give it to her as soon as they see her, I think if it was like this with women, she would be with women, so not really sure it is what that is about, but who knows.

Why would I want her back? Look at her behaviour… I’m just trying to come to terms with sll this disappointing s***. I’vr been giving her too much credit… may the new guy enjoy the relationship where he over-gives and she hardly does anything and as soon as she feels like she is not the center of his world for 5 minutes she will be shopping for attention elswhere.

 

I dont want somebody I cannot trust amd somebody who is capable of doing such an insane thing like jumping into an engagment straight out of an 8yr relationship and playing at a commited relationship with somebody she hardly knows.. so short after she was still telling me she loved me. I feel disgust. Her loyalty can be bought with a little attention and appearently some money/validation… I can never look at her the same. Not to mention she left me to deal with her crap and the flat on my own, cuz her MO is running away. 

Still just coming to terms with this huge disappointment.

Edited September 10, 2023 by Sunday30

[Sunday30]

6 hours ago, Lotsgoingon said:

Your focus is completely off here. You need to be running, running fast and far away from this relationship.

Instead, you seem addicted to the chaos of this relationship. That's the consequence of putting up with dysfunction for so many years--you get used to dysfunction. That addiction to chaos is also a consequence of what happens when you don't focus on your own life. You need to be getting involved with activities and groups and friends and having a blast away from her. Period.

But in your mindset right now, you don't exist independently of her. You don't have your own existence. 

You are so far down the hole of bad boundaries and entanglement. You don't want to CARE about what she's doing. She could be crowned the Queen of England. You don't want to care. Please try out therapy. You will feel so liberated to escape this nonsense. But you're down the hole quite a bit. You don't want to wait much longer to go get help because the climb back to sanity will be that much harder, that much longer. 

 

 

I am going to therapy and also am doing those things you mentioned, but it has only been two months and I’ve known her half my life, so it’s not so easy to un-entangle from her. Mainly because my dreams were tied to her and some things I hold very dear to my heart and I am trying to work out which parts of my life I can successfully carve her out of in a way that it wouldnt damage positive things and things I loved, what good feelings are there to be salvaged… not sure how Id feel if I just labeled 8yrs of my life as fake crap.

[Sunday30]

On 9/10/2023 at 3:42 PM, Sunday30 said:

Yeah, but when we were apart I also had a thing with men, but they never meant anything, it was just for sex. And I know that what she is mainly after is attention, always has been and men are eager to give it to her as soon as they see her, I think if it was like this with women, she would be with women, so not really sure it is what that is about, but who knows.

Why would I want her back? Look at her behaviour… I’m just trying to come to terms with sll this disappointing s***. I’vr been giving her too much credit… may the new guy enjoy the relationship where he over-gives and she hardly does anything and as soon as she feels like she is not the center of his world for 5 minutes she will be shopping for attention elswhere.

 

I dont want somebody I cannot trust amd somebody who is capable of doing such an insane thing like jumping into an engagment straight out of an 8yr relationship and playing at a commited relationship with somebody she hardly knows.. so short after she was still telling me she loved me. I feel disgust. Her loyalty can be bought with a little attention and appearently some money/validation… I can never look at her the same. Not to mention she left me to deal with her crap and the flat on my own, cuz her MO is running away. 

Still just coming to terms with this huge disappointment.

Also I find it strange, how come none of her relationships with men ever worked well, the longest one was perhaps a year and she complained about it so much afterwards, that she felt really uncomfortable very often etc. and then with me she was for 8 years. Before me she also had some crushes on women and was into girls and I too had a girlfriend before her and had lots of girl crishes, but after we met, we never felt drawn to another woman again. As if we found The Woman, and so we never looked elsewhere again. But there was some unresolved stuff with men it seems. We never consider ourselves stereotypical lesbians, more like Bi, but wanted to be together. I wondered if I might be into men, but really besides sex I was never able to form a deeper connection with one and it seemed like neither could she, but she simply has a lot of daddy issues, but that’s something she needs to figure out with somebody else. No idea how it goes, but for me this is over… she dismanteled the idea I had about her and now doesn’t know who [ ]  she is (neither does she probably). 
 

Crazy how one thinks they know somebody, yet they are so so wrong…

Edited September 11, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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