Girl (f27) who seemed really into me (m31) has been hit by everything all at once and has questioned us [UPDATED]

[ramboparrot]

2 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

It was fine. There was no need for her to say goodbye again. 

With respect, where did you get this idea? 

As long as it was left on a decent note, then that’s great. I worried about the flowers comment.

I saw a few things online about how reattracting someone can only be done if there’s an interaction between you both and that going no contact just makes them move on and forget about you. It seemed to make real sense at the time, that if I was to bring out positive reactions/flirt she might like me more again. Kind of like when you first start dating.

In hindsight, I’m against this idea and will never do this again. No contact is the best. There’s a lot of “dating scams” that try to hook you in, but psychologically speaking I think no contact is valid. You get on with life, you leave her alone and if she misses you in that time there’s that added bonus. It looks more attractive being seen to be happy and getting on with life from her perspective than it is to chase and try to flirt, especially when she’s got her guard up since breaking it off.

I now understand that and learned a lot. Whilst all this is unfortunate and I’m disappointed because I genuinely felt we had something good, it was under 3 months so it’s a bit less gutting than a long term relationship.

With my last ex, our first breakup I did a little bit if pleaing in person (similar to the message I sent above) but she was a lot less forgiving. It wasn’t until I got on with life she missed me, but it also helped me start to move on until we got back together.

Edited September 25, 2023 by ramboparrot

[stillafool]

It's good to see you got the closure you needed to move on.  Good Luck.