Waterwoman2 Posted September 8, 2023 Share Posted September 8, 2023 I used to post here about my H's affair. Angry, hurt and oh so self-righteous. Now my new boss has propositioned me. Absurd! I'm 58 FFS. He's younger than me and very beautiful. I'm not going there. It's all too much hurt and chaos. I love my H and my life. My H does not deserve it after all the hell we went through after day. But it's flattering of course and my mind does think 'what if'.... It's so strange how my moral position has switched sides. BW is a non-entity. Why am I not thinking about his BW and her hurt. Such a f*cking hypocrite. What happened to my empathy ? Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted September 9, 2023 Share Posted September 9, 2023 You're wise to steer clear IMO. As I'm sure you well know you can't have this without at least risking both your marriage and your job. He is unwise and perhaps an excessive risk taker as a boss starting an undercover relationship with some who reports to them. The "thrill" of risk may be part of the appeal for him, and it's pretty likely, now rebuffed, he will look to someone else for his "fun". Empathy rarely extends to rivals and the situation puts you, to some extent, in a rivalry position wrt his wife. Beyond that, people often have "core" moral codes (although they can change over time), and there seem to be two if one knows about affairs - one is "tell, they have a "right" to know" - and the other is a sort of "non-interference" code. It's their lives, I can observe this from the side but don't want to muck around where I don't really belong. Part of the "tell code" is a view that "I would want to know, they most likely would as well" while part of the "non-interference code" is a recognition that telling can have potentially quite catastrophic consequences (a small, but real, possibility) and so a desire to "not be the one responsible for whatever plays out" as it's now partially on your head for telling. Given your history, I think once this settles down and he is no longer "chasing" you will look on your boss with distaste, and may find yourself angling to find a position under a different supervisor. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 9, 2023 Share Posted September 9, 2023 23 hours ago, Waterwoman2 said: Now my new boss has propositioned me. What did he say? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Waterwoman2 Posted September 9, 2023 Author Share Posted September 9, 2023 Thanks Mark. He is not distasteful to me but his proposition was. I was a bit taken aback as it seemed so unlikely. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Waterwoman2 Posted September 9, 2023 Author Share Posted September 9, 2023 Stillafool - he asked if I wanted to continue the conversation we were having in his hotel room 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Waterwoman2 Posted September 9, 2023 Author Share Posted September 9, 2023 To clarify he is based in an office about 4 hours away and he is only at my site once a month or so. He and I are so different in every way - we have a kind of argumentative perhaps slightly flirty conversation but it never meant anything or so I thought. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Waterwoman2 Posted September 9, 2023 Author Share Posted September 9, 2023 (edited) I am just waiting to pay off the last of the mortgage to leave my job for something less stressful so he won't be an issue for much longer Edited September 9, 2023 by Waterwoman2 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 9, 2023 Share Posted September 9, 2023 3 hours ago, Waterwoman2 said: I am just waiting to pay off the last of the mortgage to leave my job for something less stressful so he won't be an issue for much longer Wow! He got straight to the point. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts