Veronica Posted September 8, 2023 Share Posted September 8, 2023 When I met my now ex boyfriend he was still living with the mother of his son, he told me that they were separated for more than two years but lived together for financial and parenting reasons. When he decided he wanted to date me he was honest about this and reassured me that he was telling me the truth, he asked me to wait a month for him to move out as he needed to get his finances in order first. I agreed to be his girlfriend and we dated for a month. In that month we saw each other daily and talked on the phone every night until three or four in the morning, he always answered my calls. Truly, he never gave me any reasons to doubt him. For events unrelated to this issue we ended up breaking up before our first month together but remained friendly, he got his own place just like he promised and moved out after I broke up with him. I know the situation was sketchy to begin with and I probably shouldn’t have taken such a risk on the first place but I think I was lucky and he didn’t lie to me. Do you think I was the other woman? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted September 8, 2023 Share Posted September 8, 2023 Trust your instincts. It seems like you dodged a bullet and cut your loses. Even if he finally got his own place, he still has too much going on to date or invest in a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted September 8, 2023 Share Posted September 8, 2023 I don’t know that it really matters at this point, to be very honest. Sage advice would be not to date a man who is not divorced and still living with his wife/the mother of his child. Separated = still married. Whether they live together or not, whether they have actually filed for divorce or not, separated without signed divorce papers = married. Besides, think about all that he is dealing with in the process of divorce - the stress, the cost of divorce, the work involved with finding another home and establishing himself independently, supporting children through the divorce and establishing a custody schedule… Is this really a time in which men are of the right mindset to start a new relationship? They may be interested in finding someone with whom they can date/have sex, but most are not ready to jump into another serious relationship at this time… and those that do, that’s another thing to be cautious about. I think women tend to forget that sometimes - we see an opportunity and we don’t want to miss out… but, if you take a step back and really think about it, this is a time of transition in his life… probably best to give him the time and space to get himself sorted. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted September 8, 2023 Share Posted September 8, 2023 More than likely yes. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Veronica Posted September 8, 2023 Author Share Posted September 8, 2023 (edited) 4 minutes ago, S2B said: Seems like it. was he married then? Is the divorce final now? They were never married. Edited September 8, 2023 by Veronica Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted September 8, 2023 Share Posted September 8, 2023 Doesn't matter. He wasn't yours to begin with, so even if he was still living with his son's mother, he was still being dishonest. Whether or not you were the "other woman" doesn't change what he did, as that's his responsibility, not yours. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted September 8, 2023 Share Posted September 8, 2023 (edited) 1 hour ago, Veronica said: They were never married. Regardless, they were living together and they had a child. It’s usually not wise to being a relationship with a man who is still living with his child’s mother. It’s a high risk decision, you know what I mean… Edited September 8, 2023 by BaileyB Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 9, 2023 Share Posted September 9, 2023 12 hours ago, Veronica said: talked on the phone every night until three or four in the morning What kinds of jobs do you both have that this is even possible? 12 hours ago, Veronica said: Do you think I was the other woman? Quite possibly, yes. Why did you break up with him if not for this reason? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JakeT Posted September 9, 2023 Share Posted September 9, 2023 Why does it matter? You knew he was living with the BM of his kids . You seriously think they were not having a sexual relationship ? Even if they were divorced,, doesn’t mean sex stops in all cases. Do you really expect anyone to tell you.. I love my GF,,,, we sleep in the same bed….. We do thing together…l but I looking for some side chick,,,,, 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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