How do I overcome the complications of dating and avoid drama?

[FredEire]

8 minutes ago, Lamron300 said:

I’m not someone who usually dates more than one person at once. In fact, the word date is too strong as no sex or intimacy or romantic feelings are involved. 
 

My situation is this. I went on 3 dates last week (one with her when she done over). I met a woman who I’ve been speaking to for a while, I find her very attractive and her personality is great in person. She is from a different culture though and her parents are very strict (even though she’s 31) and she doesn’t get out much. I’m not surprised if she is virgin from what she tells me. She also disappears for days on end as she likes time to herself. I like her, but seems more trouble than what it’s worth. 
 

The second woman I’m meeting again today for the second date. We got along great and she is a lot of fun. Talk all day, very humorous conversations. Again, I don’t know how intimacy will pan out. She told me she’s bad at flirting. I’ve ratcheted up and she’s basically said she wants to kiss. 
 

Then obviously the third situation is what we are discussing. In my head, it’s done. I dont want to go on anymore dates be it restaurants or move nights or other things she has planned. I don’t want to be exclusive when there is no intimacy. Im the only one raising it or being suggestive in chats. I’m not 17 anymore so I don’t ‘sext’ but I think I’ve been as open as possible. She is also going on holiday for 2 weeks from this evening. I did try and caress her and kiss her passionately on Saturday morning but she seemed standoffish. It just seems intimacy isn’t important to her and the actual company and doing things together is. So we don’t match. 
 

The problem is situations like this make OLD feel dreadful. It’s more like trying to find things to rule people out as opposed to finding common ground. I know what I don’t want, but do I know what I do want??

That last sentence is a good question to ponder. It may be that you are more attracted to difficult people that you have to "solve" in some way than available women ready for a relationship.

You should be clear and fair with this woman. Let her down gently and don't lead her on and skirt around the issue.

[Lamron300]

3 minutes ago, FredEire said:

That last sentence is a good question to ponder. It may be that you are more attracted to difficult people that you have to "solve" in some way than available women ready for a relationship.

You should be clear and fair with this woman. Let her down gently and don't lead her on and skirt around the issue.

Definitely not this. I don’t have patience with people. I think it’s my method of meeting people (OLD). Anyone can sign up for an account and if being honest, a lot of people aren’t ready for a relationship. For example, one of the women I’m ‘dating’ said her housemates told her to go on OLD, but she’s actually happy on her own. Her housemates both have bfs and she only really goes out to the gym. I only learnt this information after meeting her in person. Due to my physical attraction to her, it would be tempting to try pursue it and see if I can change her way of thinking, but I know from past experience not to bother. 
 

I haven’t messaged the current woman since yesterday and she hasn’t messaged me, so who knows, maybe something is up on her end. 

[FredEire]

7 minutes ago, Lamron300 said:

It’s actually the opposite. I have other dates lined up and have been on many dates since meeting her. What attracted me to her and let me be patient with her is she has a lot of the same values/traits as me (career focused, enjoys hobbies, loves pets etc and open to kids). So in my head I said I’ll get to know her for as long as it takes and the intimacy will come. I think it was only after maybe 9 dates she came round mine and she had a chest infection so I didn’t think much of it. However, since then she hasn’t talked about it (once in the context of going on holiday together she said we can have steamy shower sex); yet in person none of that has come across. I tried caressing her and kissing her passionately on Saturday morning, but she didn’t seem interested. I don’t want to put myself in an uncomfortable position where someone removes my hand or something. 
 

Apart from my ex partner and someone I went on 6 dates with in 2017, I have never had to think about intimacy. Hence why I am posting and asking for advice. It just happens. 
 

I haven’t spoken to her since yesterday when I said I’m getting my dog groomed and she said yay. I didn’t know what to reply and left it. Maybe she’s of the same opinion things should end or either she is aloof.

I think on the surface level we often attribute attraction to common interests but in my experience there is usually something deeper, around attachment styles and shared trauma.

Yes usually it will just progress naturally as both parties want it.

Frankly I don't know why you're in this situation after 3 months of dating. If there's no sign that someone wants to get intimate you either tactfully have the conversation or just leave it.

After dating for this long I'd do the adult thing and just let her know that you've enjoyed your time with her but you think it's better not to see eachother any more.

[FredEire]

7 minutes ago, Lamron300 said:

Definitely not this. I don’t have patience with people. I think it’s my method of meeting people (OLD). Anyone can sign up for an account and if being honest, a lot of people aren’t ready for a relationship. For example, one of the women I’m ‘dating’ said her housemates told her to go on OLD, but she’s actually happy on her own. Her housemates both have bfs and she only really goes out to the gym. I only learnt this information after meeting her in person. Due to my physical attraction to her, it would be tempting to try pursue it and see if I can change her way of thinking, but I know from past experience not to bother. 
 

I haven’t messaged the current woman since yesterday and she hasn’t messaged me, so who knows, maybe something is up on her end. 

That's true. OLD is often a bit of a car crash. But you have obviously invested a lot of time in this relationship while not being very direct with what you are looking for, and as you said maybe you dont even know what this it. So lack of patience doesn't seem to be the problem.

[mark clemson]

Quote

How do I overcome the complications of dating and avoid drama?

You can't do so entirely. If things were so simple, we'd all be in happy, stable relationships. But people can be complicated, they change over time, and life sends the occasional curve ball or sometimes freight train. Also some people find stable, "well-adjusted" relationships boring or in some cases are unconsciously uncomfortable with them and "shake things up."

Couples have a "chemistry" and it tends to be unique to each couple. So, unless your behavior patterns are very strong ones, if you're sincerely trying to make it things work out and they didn't, the next person along is a new ball game.

[Lamron300]

1 hour ago, FredEire said:

That's true. OLD is often a bit of a car crash. But you have obviously invested a lot of time in this relationship while not being very direct with what you are looking for, and as you said maybe you dont even know what this it. So lack of patience doesn't seem to be the problem.

I want to settle down, ideally I want to meet someone with the same interest as me. The issue is, on OLD the standard drops, I’m happy if someone doesn’t seem to have an obvious red flags or baggage. That’s a low bar. Then attraction, relatively active and look like their photos. I rarely go clubbing but when I do I meet women I find very attractive and there is good chemistry etc, but doesn’t mean they are girlfriend material. 
 

On OLD you can’t get your hopes up (dating in general but OLD). Nobody owes you anything. I am therefore stopping considering myself a victim. I can’t count how many times I’ve been ghosted. With age, I realise they already were speaking to someone, weren’t over an ex or were not ready to date. Until I feel we can be on the same wavelength or everything aligns, I’m keeping my options open. Imagine if I was just dating this one woman, with no other options.. I’d be feeling worse than I am now. 
 

 

[Lamron300]

28 minutes ago, mark clemson said:

 

Couples have a "chemistry" and it tends to be unique to each couple. So, unless your behavior patterns are very strong ones, if you're sincerely trying to make it things work out and they didn't, the next person along is a new ball game.

Always a new ball game, but same rules. My patience is very thin right now. What I mean by that, is I don’t know what is normal for people. For example, if someone takes ages to reply to everyone including their family, it’s less of a big deal. But I don’t know people enough or do I have the time to dig enough to know it’s the case. As we speak, a woman I’ve gone on one date with messaged me after 2 days saying ‘sorry for delayed reply, I’ve just been burnt out doing multiple things’. Perfectly reasonable in normal circumstances but I can’t really be bothered for all that. Strikes me as someone who isn’t ready to date, but likes my company/interaction/looks. 
 

With all this in the background, I’m less excited about my date tonight as I’m then thinking hmm I wonder what the deal with her is. I’m not perfect at all, but I just want to make a good connection with someone. It seems there is always a catch with OLD. 
 

 

[FredEire]

11 minutes ago, Lamron300 said:

I want to settle down, ideally I want to meet someone with the same interest as me. The issue is, on OLD the standard drops, I’m happy if someone doesn’t seem to have an obvious red flags or baggage. That’s a low bar. Then attraction, relatively active and look like their photos. I rarely go clubbing but when I do I meet women I find very attractive and there is good chemistry etc, but doesn’t mean they are girlfriend material. 
 

On OLD you can’t get your hopes up (dating in general but OLD). Nobody owes you anything. I am therefore stopping considering myself a victim. I can’t count how many times I’ve been ghosted. With age, I realise they already were speaking to someone, weren’t over an ex or were not ready to date. Until I feel we can be on the same wavelength or everything aligns, I’m keeping my options open. Imagine if I was just dating this one woman, with no other options.. I’d be feeling worse than I am now. 
 

 

No, it's important to not be a victim.

Having said that I think multi-dating leads to flakiness, bad communication at treating people poorly.

Just because everyone else is doing something doesn't make it right. The aim should be to be a good communicator and open about what you want. If others are acting like a child rise above it and hold a higher standard.

I think you could obviously be on more solid ground with this woman you're seeing, but neither of you are sure where your stand and you're now in a situationship that's basically a big mess.

If you establish early on that you're looking for friends with benefits, a relationship or looking to see how things develop but leaning one way or the other, and you can be open about this along the way as things develop it makes things a lot less complicated.

If the other person decides to ghost or slow fade you that's their problem really, but it shouldn't be how you conduct your business.

[FredEire]

6 minutes ago, Lamron300 said:

Always a new ball game, but same rules. My patience is very thin right now. What I mean by that, is I don’t know what is normal for people. For example, if someone takes ages to reply to everyone including their family, it’s less of a big deal. But I don’t know people enough or do I have the time to dig enough to know it’s the case. As we speak, a woman I’ve gone on one date with messaged me after 2 days saying ‘sorry for delayed reply, I’ve just been burnt out doing multiple things’. Perfectly reasonable in normal circumstances but I can’t really be bothered for all that. Strikes me as someone who isn’t ready to date, but likes my company/interaction/looks. 
 

With all this in the background, I’m less excited about my date tonight as I’m then thinking hmm I wonder what the deal with her is. I’m not perfect at all, but I just want to make a good connection with someone. It seems there is always a catch with OLD. 
 

 

As you say, a lot of people now act like children, don't know what they want and can't establish boundaries.

However that doesn't mean you need to follow the trend. Set the standard you want to aim for and you can attract better relationships.

I do detect a bit of victimhood in your comments. Why should I try harder if everyone else is acting a certain way? Because you want to do better.

Dating is a mess in 2024, there's an epidemic of people who are either oversexed or undersexed, always ready to hop to the next option or chronically lonely, and I don't see things heading in a good direction. The aim should be to stand out from the crowd.

[basil67]

14 hours ago, Lamron300 said:

I didn’t choose to stay with her for that long, I was manipulated. I started my business in 2020 and at the time I was so focused on work. The dodgy things and sex avoidance she always had a reason. She even said well what’s stopping you from initiating things. Only after many arguments would she admit she has a low libido and vaginal dryness. With the current woman, even though crass (it’s about the humour; even bad humour is humour) I have hinted at it. 

You could have chosen to leave.   And it's ALWAYS on us to recognise when we are being manipulated and make a choice to move on

Quote

I cherish your opinion from a woman’s perspective! But I’m tired of being on the defensive. My reason for dating multiple women isn’t because I’m a womanizer or I’m bored etc, it’s for reasons like this.

Dating multiple women for three dates or so is understandable, but it's unconscionable to be seeing a woman for MONTHS and still date others.   Woman number 2 has made it clear she wants sex with you, so make a decision about woman number one before going further with woman number two.   

Quote

In the past, I’ve focused on one person and realised they weren’t right after a while and by that time I’ve been burnt out and fed up of dating. Or I’ve always thought ahh what if she’s dating people behind my back.

This is because of your apparent inability to have the important conversations with women and because you stay for longer than you should.   And how did you feel about the idea they might be dating someone behind your back?  I reckon it was not a good feeling, so this is why I urge you to sort things out with woman #1 before dating others. 

Quote

She can’t expect for me to commit to her (wants to book a holiday, do all couple stuff and haven’t been intimate). It’s not a swap or I’m not saying if we were intimate then I’ll give into her way of thinking. It would just help establish things

She can absolutely expect you to commit to her.  Doesn't mean you have to do it.  But you haven't had the conversation about your needs, so it's entirely your fault you're stuck in this no-mans land where you don't know how she feels.

Quote

She has her horse riding hobbies on the weekends, so a lot of dates are in the week and is a restaurant. I’m not going on anymore dates, been enough. She said to me in the past men have wanted to rush her into bed, but now I’m doubting that’s true, from my experience with her. 

CONVERSATION!

Quote

apologies I sound resentful of her or people in general, I’m not! I’m 30 and I just want to do what’s right for me. There’s tons of women I get along with; but I have to accept that doesn’t mean passion is there. 

Being resentful certainly isn't going to help you find a partner.  What will help you find a partner is finding your self confidence to be assertive and walk away from this terrible passivity which undoubtedly holds you back.  Heck, you won't even ask for numbers because you're "worried about messing up your contacts list"  Given how easy it is to delete numbers from a phone, this has to be the lamest excuse ever for not asking for numbers.   Going with the flow isn't working for you and you need to change if you want a different outcome

Edited April 30 by basil67

[Weezy1973]

10 hours ago, Lamron300 said:

I want to settle down, ideally I want to meet someone with the same interest as me.

In my mind the same interests is the wrong focus for a relationship. You should be looking for someone with similar core values and who is looking for the same things as you are in a relationship (ex. Kids or no kids). 
 

I think multi-dating is pretty necessary in the early stages of OLD considering the vast majority of folks won’t be a good match. But once you’re past about three or four dates with someone, you really need to start thinking about whether or not this is someone you want exclusivity with. Are they worth deleting your OLD profiles? And if you’re not sure, then it’s just not a good enough match. 

[Lamron300]

16 hours ago, FredEire said:

No, it's important to not be a victim.

Having said that I think multi-dating leads to flakiness, bad communication at treating people poorly.

Just because everyone else is doing something doesn't make it right. The aim should be to be a good communicator and open about what you want. If others are acting like a child rise above it and hold a higher standard.

I think you could obviously be on more solid ground with this woman you're seeing, but neither of you are sure where your stand and you're now in a situationship that's basically a big mess.

If you establish early on that you're looking for friends with benefits, a relationship or looking to see how things develop but leaning one way or the other, and you can be open about this along the way as things develop it makes things a lot less complicated.

If the other person decides to ghost or slow fade you that's their problem really, but it shouldn't be how you conduct your business.

It is kind of a serious situation as I don't feel good. What I mean by that is, I don't feel like a stud or happy with my choices. I feel just like a confused kid who is further from my goals. I don't want to multiple date, but the complexities modern dating make it a necessity.  I would prefer to use my time to go out and meet more freinds, who may in turn introduce me to people, but most of my socialisation at the moment (all) is just going on dates. Obviously, I have to take personal accountability, however, I don't agree I'm not assertive. I. have been doing my best to try and get to know people in a respectful way, however, I guess it is later revealed that the compatibility isn't there. 

I don't get how people want there cake and to eat it. She wants to date and have company, but not interested in the intimate side. I don't like the saying 'satisfy my needs' as its something that should be mutually desired. 

I've actually gone backwards in my thinking, I'm now feeling very defensive and wondering with any potential new meet, what the deal breaker is.

[Lamron300]

10 hours ago, basil67 said:

You could have chosen to leave.   And it's ALWAYS on us to recognise when we are being manipulated and make a choice to move on

Dating multiple women for three dates or so is understandable, but it's unconscionable to be seeing a woman for MONTHS and still date others.   Woman number 2 has made it clear she wants sex with you, so make a decision about woman number one before going further with woman number two.   

This is because of your apparent inability to have the important conversations with women and because you stay for longer than you should.   And how did you feel about the idea they might be dating someone behind your back?  I reckon it was not a good feeling, so this is why I urge you to sort things out with woman #1 before dating others. 

She can absolutely expect you to commit to her.  Doesn't mean you have to do it.  But you haven't had the conversation about your needs, so it's entirely your fault you're stuck in this no-mans land where you don't know how she feels.

 

With my ex my better nature was manipulated. It was covid times, she convinced me it was a good idea for her to move in and work with me etc. I was distracted running new start up business and made terrible choices to stay with her longer. She would say anything to save her skin as it was my house, my business, my dog etc. She wouldn't outright deny she didn't want kids and would cheat texting her ex behind my back. She then said she would change her number for him not to contact her etc, which I then believed. Hence why I am very defensive now. 

Example, a woman I have been on one date with messaged yesterday, after a few days of being quiet. She has asked me out for next thursday. I have my reservations about her, in terms of is she ready to date, she seems to be under pressure and not happy about her work or something. I don't know enough about people or do they know about me, so I'm very cautious now when dating. I feel better to at least have options, but not really as i'd rather focus on one person. It isn't a game. 

Thats what I am trying to say, initially with the other woman, it seemed like she was just waiting to get to know me more before intimacy, however, it is now apparent that isn't the case. In the past, she said 'what if you don't like me when you see me naked'. What i am trying to say to you is I have to accept it doesn't matter how valid the reason is, if I feel not compatible with someone, I need to say it earlier and move on. Although, it isn't usually clear till a lot later down the line.

The date I went on yesterday (second date) was good. We had a good laugh, kissed at the end etc. But I can't feel excited about anything due to this past experience. I now feel like I need to get to the chase asap. I spent a lot of time and money in those 14 dates over 3 months and didn't get anywhere. 

[FredEire]

22 minutes ago, Lamron300 said:

It is kind of a serious situation as I don't feel good. What I mean by that is, I don't feel like a stud or happy with my choices. I feel just like a confused kid who is further from my goals. I don't want to multiple date, but the complexities modern dating make it a necessity.  I would prefer to use my time to go out and meet more freinds, who may in turn introduce me to people, but most of my socialisation at the moment (all) is just going on dates. Obviously, I have to take personal accountability, however, I don't agree I'm not assertive. I. have been doing my best to try and get to know people in a respectful way, however, I guess it is later revealed that the compatibility isn't there. 

I don't get how people want there cake and to eat it. She wants to date and have company, but not interested in the intimate side. I don't like the saying 'satisfy my needs' as its something that should be mutually desired. 

I've actually gone backwards in my thinking, I'm now feeling very defensive and wondering with any potential new meet, what the deal breaker is.

I feel you, I think there is a lack of clarity on what you really want and that's what you need to get a handle on. You only know what you don't want.

I agree with Basil though that you should have been more clear about what this is from the beginning. Without any sort of conversation she could already think you're in a relationship and be hurt that you're seeing other people. It might seem obvious from the fact you haven't slept together but you can't just take it for granted.

Either way it seems like it's better off ending that particular drama.

[mark clemson]

On 4/30/2024 at 8:39 AM, Lamron300 said:

My patience is very thin right now.

As we speak, a woman I’ve gone on one date with messaged me after 2 days saying ‘sorry for delayed reply, I’ve just been burnt out doing multiple things’. Perfectly reasonable in normal circumstances but I can’t really be bothered for all that. Strikes me as someone who isn’t ready to date, but likes my company/interaction/looks.

While I'm married and so not actually in the thick of of it, I think it's easy to generalize based on some bad experiences on OLD. And I think it's COMPLETELY true that there are a lot of dysfunctional folks on it, based on what I read.

That said - if it were me, I think I'd be cautious to not reject people pre-emptively for minor things. To me the conciliatory tone of the text indicates a potential for real interest. I think if it were me, I'd try to set up a date. IF it fell through a couple times and she's not able to meet in person, then I'd assume I'm wasting my time. But if other things such as the profile looked good, I'd give it a shot at least.

That would be my take FWIW.

[mark clemson]

For clarity - I meant a 2nd date.  Also, IF you figured out after the first date that she's just not for you - well, that's another matter and a substantive reason to discontinue.

[Wiseman2]

9 hours ago, Lamron300 said:

 i She wants to date and have company, but not interested in the intimate side. I don't like the saying 'satisfy my needs' as its something that should be mutually desired. 

Definitely avoid "platonic daters" . They are out there. Often after a breakup and just looking for male attention with no intention of doing anything but being entertained.  Why be in someone's fan club?  Things need to be mutual as far as attraction and intentions.

[Alpacalia]

Maybe if you stopped mulit-dating, you wouldn't need as many dates and your performance on date would get better and potentially better chances of success in meeting someone you really like. 

[Lamron300]

1 hour ago, Alpacalia said:

Maybe if you stopped mulit-dating, you wouldn't need as many dates and your performance on date would get better and potentially better chances of success in meeting someone you really like. 

I don’t multi-date out of choice. It’s a symptom of OLD. My first post on here was when I was 25. I matched with a girl who I thought was perfect for me. Had a good job, was into fitness too, good conversation. The day I matched with her, I asked her what she was up to. Said she was going on a date (no one has been that honest since). It really shook me up. We went on 3 dates and she gave me 3 kisses but then on final date she was distant and said I wasn’t for her. I figured I came across as nervous but all I could think of is this mystery other guy I was competing with. I like to imagine when I match with a woman on OLD her inbox is empty and she was waiting for me to sweep her off her feet lol. I know that isn’t the case and isn’t realistic, so I guess I may as well get to know multiple people. To clarify, the dates aren’t bad that’s not why I’m multi-dating. I’ve a second date booked with someone and a third date booked. I’ve learnt that isn’t enough time to fully know someone. This saga has taught me physical intimacy is important to me and we have to be aligned with that, but it’s nothing something to rush. I don’t want someone to say okay 4 dates or ten dates but to want it naturally and when it happens it happens. There is a lot of platonic daters and my personality is easily drawn in by that as I can be enjoying an activity/the company but that doesn’t mean it’s a romantic match.

[Lamron300]

2 hours ago, mark clemson said:

For clarity - I meant a 2nd date.  Also, IF you figured out after the first date that she's just not for you - well, that's another matter and a substantive reason to discontinue.

I can’t tell. Do we get along yes? Am I sure of other aspects no. I mean I’m a very busy person but I either make time to date or I don’t. She also doesn’t seem to have much life experience due to controlling parents. I’m a laid back person and don’t want to judge, however, her circumstances scream she just wants company. Her friends told her to set up online dating as she doesn’t do much apart from gym and work. She doesn’t say anything flirty and admits she’s aloof. Do I want to jump out of the frying pan into the fire? Looks the case based on the vibes. 

[Lamron300]

11 hours ago, FredEire said:

I feel you, I think there is a lack of clarity on what you really want and that's what you need to get a handle on. You only know what you don't want.

I agree with Basil though that you should have been more clear about what this is from the beginning. Without any sort of conversation she could already think you're in a relationship and be hurt that you're seeing other people. It might seem obvious from the fact you haven't slept together but you can't just take it for granted.

Either way it seems like it's better off ending that particular drama.

I was honest with her at the beginning. I told her I’m interested in a long term relationship and let’s see how things go. She was of the same opinion. I didn’t actually realise anything was wrong till the 14th date. I wondered why I hadn’t felt comfortable to quit dating or make things official. I realised it’s because it’s platonic. She liked to hold hands and kiss on lips at end of date. I was going on the other dates just to satisfy myself of my position with her. It made me realise other people I was dating I get along with, no different to her. Getting along with someone isn’t the only prerequisite. I realised no physical chemistry. Going on a dinner date every week for months was a waste of time. Dates didn’t involve into a more relationship vibe (staying over often etc). 

 

[FredEire]

27 minutes ago, Lamron300 said:

I was honest with her at the beginning. I told her I’m interested in a long term relationship and let’s see how things go. She was of the same opinion. I didn’t actually realise anything was wrong till the 14th date. I wondered why I hadn’t felt comfortable to quit dating or make things official. I realised it’s because it’s platonic. She liked to hold hands and kiss on lips at end of date. I was going on the other dates just to satisfy myself of my position with her. It made me realise other people I was dating I get along with, no different to her. Getting along with someone isn’t the only prerequisite. I realised no physical chemistry. Going on a dinner date every week for months was a waste of time. Dates didn’t involve into a more relationship vibe (staying over often etc). 

 

Yes this is all fair, the only thing is those are all realisations you've had in your head. If you haven't had the conversation she may be thinking you are exclusively seeing eachother and it's going well from her perspective. You really don't know without dialogue. It's the same reason you're at a loss about why she doesn't want to get intimate, because you haven't broached the subject with her.

[mb2024]

How did you respond when she told you she has deleted her dating profile?

[basil67]

13 hours ago, Lamron300 said:

Thats what I am trying to say, initially with the other woman, it seemed like she was just waiting to get to know me more before intimacy, however, it is now apparent that isn't the case. In the past, she said 'what if you don't like me when you see me naked'. What i am trying to say to you is I have to accept it doesn't matter how valid the reason is, if I feel not compatible with someone, I need to say it earlier and move on. Although, it isn't usually clear till a lot later down the line.

She's very insecure about her body.  Someone who feels this way isn't going to initiate sex!   You need to let her know that you desire her (using crass humour does not show that you desire her).  When you kiss her on the lips, how often do lovingly run your hands down her body and tell her how beautiful she is?  

It really sounds like you need to be spoonfed by women from everything from getting numbers, to communication through to sex and this is why you're still single.  Sure, some women who aren't afraid to lead will do this, but not all will.   Some will need you to be the man.   You've got to man up if you want to find a girlfriend

And in the meantime, either have a conversation with the 3 months woman or break up.  I maintain that starting to date others after this amount of time with her is really horrible behaviour on your part.

 

 

[mb2024]

In what context did she say “what if you don't like me when you see me naked”?