New relationship,

[clanko]

I'm confused as to how I feel, been in a new relationship for 3 months,

Things are going well, obviously ups and downs,

I don't know if I'm in love with her or not,

I care, think, trust, and love her 

But am I living a lie not being in love with her?

Wud I miss not being in a relationship with her (yes,)

But cud I cope not being ( yes)

Is that an age thing?

Or am I just messed up in the head

 

[JTSW]

How old are you both?

[Wiseman2]

12 minutes ago, clanko said:

Things are going well, obviously ups and downs, I don't know if I'm in love with her or not.

How old is she? How did you meet? What are the ups and downs about?

Do you feel like you're settling? Or that after 12 weeks dating the rosy glow is wearing off? 

[clanko]

I'm 41 she's 38

Chance encounter at the local pub,

Ups and downs, are getting to know each other, I annoy her vice versa, money,  nothing really serious,

She's had previous abusive relationships so I know she is very aware and cautious,

Were not settling definitely not, it's just a very easy relationship which I don't know if it's good or bad

The Rosey glow isn't wearing off I love seeing her, it makes me happy,

It's a long road 

I just don't know if I'm living a lie,

Or am I being just as cautious without really thinking about it

 

[clanko]

Thank you for reading 

[JTSW]

If you are questioning things so early on then that's not a good sign.

You're not in it romantically but you enjoy her company.

You're better off as just friends.

[basil67]

annoying each other and money issues are the things which lead to divorce.  They are serious

[Wiseman2]

42 minutes ago, clanko said:

Ups and downs, are getting to know each other, I annoy her vice versa, money,. It's a long road .  I just don't know if I'm living a lie,

Maybe you're spending too much time together if you are already annoying each other and arguing about money? Unfortunately you seem sort of "meh" about her, so reflect if you're just coasting along out of convenience.

[clanko]

Well I was abit hasty with the annoying and money,

We all have good and bad points , and quirks that can annoy each other, in a nice way, we all can't get on all the time, it's a learning experience,

As for the money, she has basically started again from Strach, new home new job, so she doesn't have much money, 

Which is fine, IV got no worries helping her, but she feels bad because she can't afford much,

It will work out in the end when things settle 

[d0nnivain]

I have always needed the whole chemistry thing to make a relationship work.  Yes, love grows over time & deepens but if I had doubts early on I listened to my inner voice.  I am not saying make a rash decision but do try to analyze why you are feeling the way you are.  

[glows]

How can you be in love with anyone having known that person for only 3 months after meeting in a bar one night. Of course there’s not much substance there. It’s too soon to be trying to have deep feelings at only 3 months especially if she’s distracted and your time together is complicated by money issues and both of you pushing too hard and expecting too much too soon. 

Slow things down and let it unfold in time. Don’t be so impatient with one another and be wary if she’s getting you to pay for things, doing the whole feeling sorry for herself, self-pitying thing and trying to make this relationship more than what it is. You’re getting to know one another and that’s all it is. Be more grounded together.