She is making up lies about people

[Angel29]

I met a woman at a social group a few times and she seemed nice enough. She is now trying to make up false accusations about people and falsely accused me of something too. She says it is guilt by association. None of us have done any of these accusations. It upset me as I have been a good friend listening to her relationship problems and she asked me to collect some saucepans for her which I went out of my way.

The accusations got resolved and she restarted it again where my boyfriend was part of this group chat said why bring this all up again when it was resolved. She can't let these lies go. It is supposed to be a social group and she is being nasty. I personally see no benefit to having this person in my life. I feel I have to walk on eggshells now. I would not really see her at the social group. I just can't forgive her for the accusations. She must be laughing at how she has gotten away with it.

[Wiseman2]

23 minutes ago, Angel29 said:

 my boyfriend was part of this group chat said why bring this all up again when it was resolved. . I personally see no benefit to having this person in my life

Can you join different groups or clubs? Is your BF involved in this group chat or social club? 

[MsJayne]

If you know she's doing this why haven't you just confronted her? If what she's saying is wholly untrue then it's slander, if there's a grain of truth it's gossip. If she's a troublemaker in the group just avoid/ignore her, and if you host a gathering just exclude her altogether. If she starts gossiping about others in the group to you put her on the spot by asking, "Why are you always gossiping about other people?"  

[basil67]

If she's gossiping about others, I'd tell them what she's saying.  If she done it to enough people, she will find herself dumped from the group. 

[ShyViolet]

This is not a person you know well, you only met her a few times.  You now know she's crazy.  Don't engage with her, just cut her out of your life and don't associate with her anymore.  That's really all you can do.

[glows]

On 9/26/2023 at 5:15 AM, Angel29 said:

She must be laughing at how she has gotten away with it.

I suspect she’s likely tormented by her own fears and paranoia.

What were the lies about? And why does she believe multiple people were in on it and all against her? 

Is your boyfriend still interested in the group chat and why haven’t you both ditched it given the odd and uncomfortable circumstances?

[Angel29]

7 hours ago, glows said:

I suspect she’s likely tormented by her own fears and paranoia.

What were the lies about? And why does she believe multiple people were in on it and all against her? 

Is your boyfriend still interested in the group chat and why haven’t you both ditched it given the odd and uncomfortable circumstances?

The lies were about discrimination. A person who lives abroad joined our group and our group criteria requests people to be local as it is a local in person friendship group. People were concerned why this person joined as they had heard about online scams so she then made false accusations against us all for discrimination. I don't see what is wrong for looking out for people safety online. It can be looked into and if wrong then at least it was looked at. It really made me angry as I have such a diverse social circle and don't care what background someone is as long as we get on. I have always been inclusive. The woman accusing us all doesn't not have a diverse social circle! I really hate when people get like this, I just see people as people not solely on their background.

Edited September 29, 2023 by Angel29
Spelling error

[mark clemson]

She might be trying to manipulate folks with some goal in mind, but more likely IMO is that she simply has some sort of mental problem. There are in fact plenty of people out there who seem relatively normal at first, but turn out to have mental problems of various kinds.

I suspect she will continue to cause trouble. I'd look for a way to get her removed from this social group if possible, or find ways to otherwise disassociate yourself from her.

[Wiseman2]

On 9/29/2023 at 6:44 AM, Angel29 said:

The lies were about discrimination. A person who lives abroad joined our group and our group criteria requests people to be local as it is a local in person friendship group.  

This group seems like more of a headache than it's worth. Especially if there are trouble makers, drama queens and people who just want to argue and be disruptive. If this is supposed to be for fun and friendship, what's the point of staying with people like this? Surely there's plenty of other local or interest groups and clubs you could look into that don't have these types of troublemakers? 

[glows]

On 9/29/2023 at 3:44 AM, Angel29 said:

The lies were about discrimination. A person who lives abroad joined our group and our group criteria requests people to be local as it is a local in person friendship group. People were concerned why this person joined as they had heard about online scams so she then made false accusations against us all for discrimination. I don't see what is wrong for looking out for people safety online. It can be looked into and if wrong then at least it was looked at. It really made me angry as I have such a diverse social circle and don't care what background someone is as long as we get on. I have always been inclusive. The woman accusing us all doesn't not have a diverse social circle! I really hate when people get like this, I just see people as people not solely on their background.

She’s in the minority here if the majority disagrees in having a non-local. Why don’t you all vote on who gets to stay both locals and non locals? Kick her out if she’s causing undue hardship and distracting from the overall purpose of the group.

Alternatively (as is the case with these groups) who is the admin or creator of the group? Report it stating the issue and them handle it. People like this end up digging themselves into their own hole. Just report the issue and don’t involve yourself further until the matter is handled.