Shy guy!

[Kwnantia]

   I know him through our involvement in music and mutual acquaintances. He is 21 and I am 26. He is very shy but he is everything I look for in a man in terms of his character. I know he is five years younger but he is such a good and responsible guy. I have noticed that he also stares intently but because he is very shy, he doesn't do anything else. I have started to talk to him but I noticed that he does not continue the conversation, he does not ask a you. For example, I was asking him about his college but he didnt ask me nothing if i ever go to college and what did i study there. I don't know what to do since he doesn't manifest either!

[basil67]

I'm afraid he's either incapable of holding a basic conversation or really doesn't want to talk with you.   Best to forget about him 

[Kwnantia]

I think of that too. Either he is so shy that he can't continue a conversation or he doesn't want to talk more. He is very close but i don't understand why he cant have a basic conversation with me. He sees that I'm talking to him but he doesn't ask how about you! 

[basil67]

1 hour ago, Kwnantia said:

I think of that too. Either he is so shy that he can't continue a conversation or he doesn't want to talk more. He is very close but i don't understand why he cant have a basic conversation with me. He sees that I'm talking to him but he doesn't ask how about you! 

The fact that you're talking to him doesn't necessarily mean that he wants to talk back to you.  

 

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, Kwnantia said:

I was asking him about his college but he didnt ask me nothing if i ever go to college and what did i study there. I don't know what to do since he doesn't manifest either!

He isn't asking because he doesn't want to keep the conversation going.  He knows you want him to talk to you; but he doesn't want to lead you on, because he's not interested.

[Kwnantia]

He is very shy so is difficult to know. When I talk to him he doesn't stop the conversation(like say yes or no only), but he keeps talking about him. He could ask me how about you, but he doesn't do it. His friends are like him too, very shy. 

[d0nnivain]

Continue to be kind to him.  Say hi.  Be civil but don't go farther.  Instead observe him around others.  If he's chatty with them but clams up around you, he simply doesn't want to be involved with you, not even in conversation.  If he acts as awkwardly with everybody as he does with you, be gentle, go slow but give him a safe space to engage.  If he is that socially awkward & underdeveloped, you will have to be very patient.  

[glows]

Why not flirt a bit and ask him “don’t you want to know more about me? I’ve asked you a lot of questions.” Beam a mega watt smile. Just break the ice a little more and see whether he laughs and responds/loosens up. He is continuing to engage but he’s talking about himself, a common trend for anyone who is nervous.

If he looks stiff and body language shows he’s ready to move on and cut the convo short you know he’s not interested and just being polite.

[Kwnantia]

Thanks for your responses. With the others he is shy too. Sometimes in the music band he distances himself from the others and prefers to sit alone. I'm with other people so I don't go to him because everybody will be like: why she go to sit with him; and I'm afraid that he will tell this too because is cringe.

If he is like you said socially awkward & underdeveloped, is a difficult task. Maybe because he knows I'm older, he is afraid of the rejection.

I would like to make another joke to break the ice that is general. Not be very flirty. He likes to play videogames and go to the gym.

 

[d0nnivain]

Just keep being kind & patient.  Talk to him.  Your actions will have to prove to him that it's safe to talk to you.   He really doesn't know how to do this & is terrified of being humiliated.  Gentle, slow, kind, patient are all operative concepts here.