Am I being used?

[fred123]

Met a girl who was house sitting. Stayed there with her 2 nights in a row. No sex as she said she gets attached quickly when she has sex. 

She hardly touches me or kisses me. I have to always try and she acts uncomfortable.

 

Stayed another 3 nights in a hotel I paid for.  

What shall I do? Is she into me or not?

 

 

 

[Wiseman2]

25 minutes ago, fred123 said:

Met a girl who was house sitting. Stayed there with her 2 nights in a row. No sex 

How do you know her? Why would  you stay where she's house-sitting and then in a hotel? How far away does she live? What was your agreement as far as staying with her?

Why can't you invite women to your place? Do you live with someone? What exactly is the purpose of meeting up with women from out of town and sleeping there? 

Please get a good profile and pics on quality paid dating apps. Paid apps tend to have more serious daters and better matching and screening tools. This way you could talk to and meet local women, then after you meet, you could decide whether to date or hookup or whatever.

Repeatedly driving out of town on the off chance sex may happen doesn't seem like a viable dating strategy.

Edited October 1, 2023 by Wiseman2

[basil67]

 

40 minutes ago, fred123 said:

I have to always try and she acts uncomfortable.

Why do you keep trying to have sex when you know she's uncomfortable with it? 

[fred123]

58 minutes ago, basil67 said:

 

Why do you keep trying to have sex when you know she's uncomfortable with it? 

She says she likes a man to initiate 

[Gaeta]

2 hours ago, fred123 said:

she said she gets attached quickly when she has sex. 

Do you understand what that means?

[glows]

Is this the first time you met? While you’re both in someone else’s house? I can imagine how strange and awkward that is. Do the owners know that there was another person (you) there?

I think it’s odd she asked you to even be there and it’s doubly odd that you agreed to stay in a house the owners may never have invited you to stay in or don’t even know if your existence.

At this point, yeah, I’d say she’s probably using you but in the weirdest way possible - because she’s too afraid to stay in a house alone? This is definitely giving horror /Halloween vibes. Lol! Not sure if this is intentional. Anyway, meet with her on actual dates and don’t have any stay overs or overnighters regardless whose house it is.

[Alvi]

4 hours ago, fred123 said:

Met a girl who was house sitting. Stayed there with her 2 nights in a row. No sex as she said she gets attached quickly when she has sex. 

She hardly touches me or kisses me. I have to always try and she acts uncomfortable.

Ok, why did you stay? Why would you push yourself on someone if he or she visibly looks uncomfortable? What were you hoping to get out of this? I guess you were hoping to get sex out of all this. It is amazing what crap some guys are willing to put up with if they think that they are going to get sex.

4 hours ago, fred123 said:

Stayed another 3 nights in a hotel I paid for.  

Did she force you in any way to stay in a hotel or to pay for it? If the answer is "No" then she didn't use you. You could have left at any point if you thought that something was off. 

Don't know what her deal is, I am suspecting that you are only telling a part of a story here. How on earth did you end up sharing a hotel room with her?  But gosh, why did you try to touch or kiss a gal if you saw that she uncomfortable. Why did she stay in a hotel for 3 days with a complete stranger that she wasn't comfortable with?

 

4 hours ago, fred123 said:

Is she into me or not?

I am guessing (and this is only a guess) that since she didn't take things to another level her interest in you is very low. But do ask her out on an actual date and see what she says.

Holly molly! What a weird situation you have found yourself in.

Edited October 2, 2023 by Alvi

[BaileyB]

5 hours ago, fred123 said:

I have to always try and she acts uncomfortable.

You need to stop trying. And you shouldn’t be staying in a hotel with a woman who is uncomfortable with you. 

[MsJayne]

She sounds like a person with self-awareness and she behaves accordingly. Smart woman. Why do you expect a sexual relationship when you've only just met? She doesn't want to get hurt. Maybe stop focusing on your own needs and wants and respect hers. 

[Sony12]

Be careful of her using you for money. If you don't feel like she is that interested in you don't spend much money on her.

[basil67]

5 hours ago, fred123 said:

She says she likes a man to initiate 

She may like for a guy to initiate when she's ready for sex.  But first and foremost, she also told you that she doesn't want to rush into having sex.  So don't start initiating until she's ready for sex.  

You need to have conversations a conversation with her.  Tell her that it's obvious she's not yet ready, but if/when she changes her mind and is ready for sex, she needs to tell you.  Only then should you be initiating

[Bettylou]

Don't rush in.  Take it slowly and show her respect.   

[d0nnivain]

@fred123

I have been away from this forum for a long time but you are still here with the exact same problems.  There have been may different women over the years  but they ALL do this to you.   You are the common thread here.  I say this kindly with compassion because my heart genuinely breaks for you but you have ZERO ability to read social cues & your picker is broken. 

Again I ask out of a place of caring, but have you ever been diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum?   That may be hampering all of your social interactions.