Got really nasty message from woman I'd been seeing who moved away. Just ignore it?

[max3732]

I posted before about someone who I got along with really well and had gone on multiple dates with before she told me she was moving back to her country, which was really far away. After she moved we stayed in touch and sent each other little clips and discussed news and other things and did weekly video chats. 

Then she tells me that she got a full time job where she's from originally and isn't moving back where I am. Before that I was talking to friends about maybe taking a trip all the way where she lives and trying to see her.

However after hearing she's not coming back I figured any chance of a relationship was done, but it would be nice to keep in touch and we both continued sending each other messages a few times a week and thought we could do a video call every now and then to keep in touch.

I had been busy the normal time we did the calls a couple weeks, but told her I'd call the following.

She sends me a reply saying not to call her and basically how upset she is I didn't make an effort to visit her and how we didn't go on enough dates when she was here for a relationship and she doesn't want to waste her time with someone if there's no chance for a relationship.

I felt like I'd gotten a punch to the stomach and was kind of shocked. She wrote a bunch of other nasty stuff too. In person and video chats we'd always seemed to be on the same page and she'd never said anything nasty.

I was tempted to reply with something like "sorry you feel that way. I was trying to come visit and was disappointed you weren't coming back. Thought we could keep in touch" or something to that effect. However he message was so nasty I don't know if I should even respond or want anything to do with her.

What do you think?

[Wiseman2]

2 minutes ago, max3732 said:

 she doesn't want to waste her time with someone if there's no chance for a relationship. She wrote a bunch of other nasty stuff too. What do you think?

It seems like you're just pen pals at this point, so what's the point? What nasty stuff did she say?  Don't bother replying.

Just delete and block her and all her people from ALL your social media and messaging apps. Save yourself the headaches. Invest in people who make you feel good and are worthwhile. 

[basil67]

She's not interested in civilly discussing the issues with you, so just delete and block

[glows]

Im guessing she built your visit up in her mind and was quite excited to see you again. You don’t know whether she had made arrangements or told her friends and family you were visiting or took time off etc. Do you think that might have been the case and she was inconvenienced or embarrassed? Was it her tone or did she also call you names and become abusive in her messages? I think it’s a bit odd for someone to react like that given the circumstances and gives the overall impression her head is a bit in the clouds. Perhaps she went along with an illusion of romance thinking you’d consider a LDR or move to her country? 

I wouldn’t reply to rude messages. Just delete and block and delete off any social media platforms. 

[BaileyB]

What do I think?

You should not reply to this kind of message. Just let it go.

[d0nnivain]

Another vote for ignore.   

She moved but was engaging in magical thinking that everything was going to be the same & that you were possibly going to uproot your whole life & come to her.  That was completely one sided & unrealistic but she got her nose out of joint when you didn't play along with her fantasy.  

Let her have this last word / the "victory".  Delete her out of all your contacts & date somebody locally.  She isn't worth the effort.   

[stillafool]

It wasn't going anywhere anyway, so block and delete her.

[mark clemson]

It sounds like she hoped for or expected more but didn't have the "strength" to speak up about it, and so harbored resentment. C'est la vie - it's important to try to "read" a partner past what they might be showing on the surface, however that can be easier said than done with some folks.

It's also possible she's simply a bad break up. There are certainly people out there who "burn bridges" at the end of a relationship, and you won't necessarily know until the break up occurs. Perhaps she's one of those.