VincentCyjier Posted October 6, 2023 Share Posted October 6, 2023 After a short, but intense love affair, I'm single again. In the last days, something has changed though. I'm 35 years old, male, 6' tall, work in an office and I've got a new colleague since the beginning of the week. She is 55, seems very smart, has a beautiful voice, is sensitive, relatively short and slim, wears glasses and has brown hair knotted in a bun. When I'm around her I get pretty nervous and my heart beats faster; apparently I've fallen in love with her. However, I don't know if she returns my feelings and if the age difference matters to her? Should I dare to ask her for a romantic date or should I wait until she makes the first move? Should I dress in a special way to please her? In my head I have already imagined a romantic dinner and then a dance together arm in arm... Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted October 6, 2023 Share Posted October 6, 2023 (edited) 17 minutes ago, VincentCyjier said: After a short, but intense love affair, I'm single again. In the last days, something has changed though. I'm 35 years old, male, 6' tall, work in an office and I've got a new colleague since the beginning of the week. She is 55, seems very smart, has a beautiful voice, is sensitive, relatively short and slim, wears glasses and has brown hair knotted in a bun. When I'm around her I get pretty nervous and my heart beats faster; apparently I've fallen in love with her. However, I don't know if she returns my feelings and if the age difference matters to her? Should I dare to ask her for a romantic date or should I wait until she makes the first move? Should I dress in a special way to please her? In my head I have already imagined a romantic dinner and then a dance together arm in arm... Age gap relationships seldom turn into anything long-term and you definitely don't want to get into one at the workplace. Ask a lady out who you don't have to be around on a daily basis if you are interested in women older than you. And you definitely don't want to ask her out if she has only been there a week. Edited October 6, 2023 by Sony12 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 6, 2023 Share Posted October 6, 2023 Looking at your history, I would say that you're still over romanticising this. You know absolutely nothing about her, but are apparently in love based on nothing more than her appearance and age. Given that she doesn't know you from a bar of soap, it's extremely unlikely she feels the same way about you. At this point, her focus will be on fitting in to the workplace and doing her job well. Please hit yourself over the head with the 'sensible stick'! You don't know if she will even fit this imaginary role you've created for her. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 6, 2023 Share Posted October 6, 2023 You're not in love with her. You barely know her. You're attracted to her. Try not to confuse that with being "in love." And no, there is nothing you should do at this time. You have no clue if she's even single, or whether she would be okay going out with a coworker - much less someone 20 years her junior. Leave this one be. Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted October 6, 2023 Share Posted October 6, 2023 I’m reading this as a fantasy if you’re not trolling for a laugh. I think you’re lonely after your break up and she looks cute and attractive, a distraction from everything else. You can wear what you want as long as it’s work appropriate and meets the dress code in your work place. If you don’t even know this person and she just joined the company a few days ago how do you know she’s single? Straight? Into men? Or at all attracted to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 6, 2023 Share Posted October 6, 2023 7 hours ago, VincentCyjier said: I've got a new colleague since the beginning of the week. It's ok to have a crush. However the workplace is not a singles club or speed dating event. It's inappropriate to hit on coworkers, especially when they just started. Be polite and professional. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 6, 2023 Share Posted October 6, 2023 (edited) 9 hours ago, VincentCyjier said: apparently I've fallen in love with her. Wrong. You have developed a crush on her. You are infatuated with her. Unless she gives you any sign that she feels the same way, I would avoid making a fool out of myself at work. Actually, I would avoid dating someone at work all together. Edited October 6, 2023 by BaileyB Link to post Share on other sites
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