Should I have been more patient or understanding? Why would he not respond?

[Lou45000]

I met a guy last year, we went on 2 dates and planned a third date but he cancelled the third date and said he didn't want to pursue so I said okay, fair enough. 6 month later he contacted me and asked if we could meet, I agreed and I asked why he didn't want to pursue the first time and he said he wanted to work on himself. Throughout August we kept going on dates, spent my birthday together, he introduced me to his dad, sister and bother in law who brought me a gift, we slept together. After couple of weeks I asked him if we were on the same page (I actually assumed meeting the family meant we were official and needed reinsurance about where we were going) and he told me he needed more time to make his decision and I said okay, fair enough. I felt some frustration in his answer but we kept talking as normal, he suggested to plan some holidays but he didn't initiate any date after I asked that question. His family was here so I didn't say anything but when they left I told him he didn't plan anything and then we agreed on a day but I could feel that he wasn't motivated to meet at all so I cancelled and when I cancelled he proceeded to tell me he couldn't reciprocate the affections and enthusiasm I had towards (I think he thought I wanted to be done thatd why he said that when I actually felt the lack of motivation and cancelled our date) we had some kind of misunderstanding that day and he asked if we could meet to talk and I said okay. We were meant to talk last week Sunday but we didn't talk at all throughout the week (I wanted to think about all these things that happened and I guess him too) and I reach out to him Sunday morning to check what time we would meet and he told me he had a lot of personal issues to deal with and didn't ask to reschedule so I told him that we should stop (this situation started to make me feel anxious) and I hope he could sort out his problems and he never responded.

[Wiseman2]

Sorry this happened. It seems like he's on/off with someone and contacted you during one of the off times. 

He simply seems too flaky and uninterested to bother investing in. Save yourself the headaches and heartaches and walk away.

Set yourself free and this time, delete and block him permanently so he doesn't slither back in when he's bored or lonely only to fade out again.

Edited October 6, 2023 by Wiseman2

[stillafool]

5 hours ago, Lou45000 said:

Throughout August we kept going on dates, spent my birthday together, he introduced me to his dad, sister and bother in law who brought me a gift, we slept together. After couple of weeks I asked him if we were on the same page (I actually assumed meeting the family meant we were official and needed reinsurance about where we were going) and he told me he needed more time to make his decision and I said okay, fair enough.

It doesn't really mean anything that he introduced you to his family.  My brothers used to bring different girls to the house every other week and then we'd never see them again.  It's also best to make sure you both are on the same page before you have sex.  This guy seems like he just came back to you after having down time with someone else.  He may have just wanted sex with no commitment with you.  I would let him go and move on to someone more interested.

[Gaeta]

Gosh! I am so sorry for you. 

I had things like that happen to me when I was dating so I had to adjust and give myself some guidelines.

1)  If you don't want to be exclusive by date 5 then you're out. 

2) no introducing to the family until we are exclusive and dating 3 months.

You have to look out for yourself because none of these men will. You block and delete and move forward.