glows Posted October 15, 2023 Share Posted October 15, 2023 How did it go??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoodVibess Posted October 16, 2023 Author Share Posted October 16, 2023 On 10/14/2023 at 5:50 PM, Marka said: fingers crossed for you! Let us know how it went! It went really well but I feel conflicted. He basically told me he expects me to convert to islam if we ended up working out. Because he is from Saudi Arabia and that is what his family is expecting. I told him I would never convert, I was raised a christian and I will always be a christian. He replied saying I hurt him and then has stopped replying after I told him “my faith should not depend on who I am with” He hasn’t responded since. I feel sad because I genuinely felt a connection with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoodVibess Posted October 16, 2023 Author Share Posted October 16, 2023 23 hours ago, glows said: How did it go??? It went really well, to the point we made plans but then he got upset at me for not wanting to convert to islam. 😞 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 16, 2023 Share Posted October 16, 2023 6 minutes ago, GoodVibess said: It went really well, to the point we made plans but then he got upset at me for not wanting to convert to islam. Sorry this happened. You're not compatible but that ok. Trying to convert someone on a first date is a red flag. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 16, 2023 Share Posted October 16, 2023 Break it off now! Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted October 16, 2023 Share Posted October 16, 2023 32 minutes ago, GoodVibess said: It went really well, to the point we made plans but then he got upset at me for not wanting to convert to islam. 😞 Hmm. That sounds a bit odd. Don't you think? Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted October 16, 2023 Share Posted October 16, 2023 You didn't know he was Islamic? Religious beliefs are generally one of the primary things people put on their profiles. Especially if they have beliefs that many people in their area wouldn't. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alvi Posted October 16, 2023 Share Posted October 16, 2023 1 hour ago, GoodVibess said: It went really well, to the point we made plans but then he got upset at me for not wanting to convert to islam. 😞 OK, were you aware of his religion before you met him??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoodVibess Posted October 16, 2023 Author Share Posted October 16, 2023 6 minutes ago, Alvi said: OK, were you aware of his religion before you met him??? I was but I didn’t know he would be this strict about it. Other muslim men have never wanted me to convert. Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted October 16, 2023 Share Posted October 16, 2023 A person who would be serious about having their partner convert to their religion would probably mention their religion beforehand. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author GoodVibess Posted October 16, 2023 Author Share Posted October 16, 2023 1 minute ago, Sony12 said: A person who would be serious about having their partner convert to their religion would probably mention their religion beforehand. I was the one who asked he said he didn’t want to mention it immediately. Link to post Share on other sites
Sony12 Posted October 16, 2023 Share Posted October 16, 2023 (edited) 4 minutes ago, GoodVibess said: I was the one who asked he said he didn’t want to mention it immediately. Do you talk to these people much beforehand or do you pretty much just look at pics and decide to meet? If you are meeting men who have completely different religious beliefs than you it's probably good to talk to them a bit first to at the very least find out how important religion is to them. Edited October 16, 2023 by Sony12 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted October 16, 2023 Share Posted October 16, 2023 I have never heard of someone waiting to meet on a first date to ask them to convert. I guess there is a first time for everything, but it does seem a bit premature and pushy. Call it a wash. You both didn't share pertinent information initially. And when that happens, these things tend to play out the way you and this particular matching went down. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 16, 2023 Share Posted October 16, 2023 I'm not understanding why he wouldn't bring this up before the date if that is so important to him. Why would he even want to date a girl who is not muslim? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 16, 2023 Share Posted October 16, 2023 6 minutes ago, stillafool said: Why would he even want to date a girl who is not muslim? Agreed. If he wanted a Muslim wife he would easily find one in his community. Also, lslam religion allows men to marry outside their faith with a couple of exceptions but they are allowed to marry Christian women. That tells me this guy is deep deep into his religion and l highly suggest you pass. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted October 16, 2023 Share Posted October 16, 2023 Not necessarily, it depends on how religious the two people are. If both are deeply religious and it's a big part of their identities, it's likely to come up early on. I would assume if one or both are more casually religious or their beliefs are not a major part of their identity, it might not come up until later in the relationship when it becomes relevant. I'm Lutheran and spirituality is important to me, but it doesn't define me or dictate every aspect of my life, so it may not be one of the first things I talk about with a new partner. I would likely not date someone that was very religious and strict. But asking someone to convert religions, even if you're not deeply tied to one, is a huge red flag. I would think though that since the two of you were talking beforehand for an entire month that he'd be more inclined to already know that you're not the overly religious type and such? Who delayed meeting for a month, was it him or you? I mean, you mentioned in the other thread that you were hesitant to meet him and cited that you felt he wouldn't accept you. You never answered the question where that fear stemmed from and don't know if it's due to his religious beliefs that had you fearful or that he wouldn't like you because you're not happy with certain aspects of yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 16, 2023 Share Posted October 16, 2023 Forget this guy. It's a dead-end. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 16, 2023 Share Posted October 16, 2023 On 10/14/2023 at 2:01 PM, GoodVibess said: Because I don’t like my appearance at all, Im wearing a huge jacket so he doesn’t see how big I am. If you don't like yourself/appearance it will show and no one will see your beauty. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 16, 2023 Share Posted October 16, 2023 (edited) 3 hours ago, GoodVibess said: he got upset at me for not wanting to convert to islam. This sounds more like recruiting than dating. There's no reason for him to get "upset", when he should be dating women from his faith in the first place. Delete and block him. Please reconsider getting a good profile and recent flattering pics on quality paid dating apps. Paid apps may have more serious daters as well as offering better matching and screening criteria and tools. Please reset your matching and screening criteria for appropriate age range and distance as well as lifestyle, and other important characteristics Edited October 16, 2023 by Wiseman2 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 16, 2023 Share Posted October 16, 2023 3 hours ago, GoodVibess said: It went really well but I feel conflicted. He basically told me he expects me to convert to islam if we ended up working out. Because he is from Saudi Arabia and that is what his family is expecting. I told him I would never convert, I was raised a Christian and I will always be a Christian. He replied saying I hurt him and then has stopped replying after I told him “my faith should not depend on who I am with” He hasn’t responded since. I feel sad because I genuinely felt a connection with him. Maybe this was just an excuse not to get further involved with you. It doesn't make sense that he would expect a Christian to convert on the first meeting. Me thinks he purposely said that because he knew you wouldn't go for it. That is why he only wanted to discuss this in person after he's seen you. 2 hours ago, GoodVibess said: Other muslim men have never wanted me to convert. Are you purposely only trying to meet Muslim men and are they all you're attracted to? 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted October 17, 2023 Share Posted October 17, 2023 Those were my thoughts exactly. He’s not attracted and was just dicking around. He probably knew you were a staunch Christian or wouldn’t convert. Just move on and don’t waste your time with this time wasters. Remember to be honest in your profile/photos if you do go back online. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
shellzbellz83 Posted October 17, 2023 Share Posted October 17, 2023 What on earth were y'all talking about for a month, if not major requirements/dealbreakers like this? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted October 17, 2023 Share Posted October 17, 2023 1 hour ago, stillafool said: If you don't want to do that then maybe wait until you reach your goal weight before resuming dating. I suggested that earlier but OP glossed it over. OP, you can't keep doing this and making the guy out to be the bad guy and you the victim here. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Lisa Posted October 18, 2023 Senior Moderators Share Posted October 18, 2023 This thread has been cleaned up and closed due to both uncivil behaviour towards the OP and bickering between members. As the OP's question has been thoroughly explored, we have closed the thread to further responses Link to post Share on other sites
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