over itz Posted October 12, 2023 Share Posted October 12, 2023 (edited) I just need to vent ..ive been in a marriage 5 yrs come Friday and I'm at the point of feeling drained and don't want nothing to do with him or the marriage and feel like I could truly be happy alone but of course what makes it hard is children involved . Any advice from experience out there Edited October 12, 2023 by over itz Updated Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 12, 2023 Share Posted October 12, 2023 2 hours ago, over itz said: I just need to vent ..ive been in a marriage 5 yrs come Friday and I'm at the point of feeling drained and don't want nothing to do with him or the marriage and feel like I could truly be happy alone but of course what makes it hard is children involved . Any advice from experience out there Sorry this is happening. What are the marital problems? How old is he? How long did you date before marriage? When did things get unbearable? Was this an arranged marriage? How old are the children? Do you both work? Is there abuse, cheating or mental health or substance abuse issues? Do you have trusted friends and family nearby? Privately and confidentiality consult an attorney for information support and advice about your specific situation. Do not tell your husband or threaten divorce. Just inform yourself so you know where you stand and how to proceed. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 12, 2023 Share Posted October 12, 2023 Go to marriage counseling if you don't want to divorce but work out your marriage. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Marlo Peterson Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 Work on your marriage at all costs. There's going to be stress and turmoil in every aspect of life that you choose, but you can't put a price tag on keeping your family together. That doesn't always work, but exhaust absolutely, positively every effort and resource before even considering Plan B. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 20 hours ago, over itz said: I just need to vent ..ive been in a marriage 5 yrs come Friday and I'm at the point of feeling drained and don't want nothing to do with him or the marriage and feel like I could truly be happy alone but of course what makes it hard is children involved . Any advice from experience out there That’s fight or flight and you’re choosing flight which if not thought through can cause complications. Absolutely rethink the marriage if there is substance abuse, domestic violence or any type of oppression. You do NOT need to convince yourself you have to stay because of your kids. Your kids will look to you as an example and learn not to put up with abuse and other similar issues detrimental to their health and well-being. You are their role model. Choose your health and well-being of yourself and your children if your spouse is too far gone and the marriage is not salvageable. Do both of you work and can you support yourself? What are the reasons for the distress at home? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 13, 2023 Share Posted October 13, 2023 21 hours ago, over itz said: don't want nothing to do with him or the marriage and feel like I could truly be happy alone. You don't have to stay married if you are this unhappy most of the time. Speak to an attorney for advice, support and information regarding your situation and the children. Armed with some knowledge about your specific situation and what leaving the marriage would look like and entail could help you decide. Link to post Share on other sites
BP82 Posted October 18, 2023 Share Posted October 18, 2023 Been married for 8 years now.. am planning to divorce my husband too. But stuck in this loveless drama coz of my kid (I have 1 child) and I also need to be financially stable before leaving him. I think you need to think it thoroughly. I always ask myself this question: 1. Can I manage without him? (Actually yes coz the government in the country where I live provides support for widows). 2. Is my child old enough en strong enough to suffer with me? Can he manage his daily activities when I have to go to work? 3. Can my child understand why I need to divorce my husband? 4. Have I accepted it thoroughly that I will not be in his life anymore? 5. Am I financially stable? 6. Do I have a projection of what my future life without him will be? En so forth. Brainstorm first w yourself en then discuss this w your mom/sister/ bestie or oldest child before rushing into things. Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted October 18, 2023 Share Posted October 18, 2023 People divorce when they want to. kids adjust. This seems like an excuse. can you support yourself and the kids? Link to post Share on other sites
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