Would it look bad to text again?

[JohnnyB123]

I (35m) have known a girl (25f) for a few years but never pursued anything bc I was in a long term relationship until this summer. 

A few weeks ago I had an extra ticket to a concert and invited her to come with me. This was the first time we’ve ever spent time together purposely (I've run into her at some latenight/afterhours places and we've said hi, hugged, etc). She met me at the venue and grabbed my hand if we walked anywhere. As soon as we’d get to the bar or to a stopping spot she’d almost throw my hand. So I figured she was just holding it to not get separated/lost. After the concert, she stayed out with me for a little bit but then left to meet some of her friends. 

Two weeks ago I went to an emo night with a friend and text her to ask if she was going - she said she was going with a friend and asked me to stay a little long so we could see each other. She hung out w me and my friend and then left to hangout with her friends there after an hour or two. She text me the next day saying she was so mad bc one of the guy friends grabbed her butt and she had never given him any reason to think they were more than friends and that she’d never even held his hand. 

Last Monday I texted her some pictures my photographer friend had taken of us the first time we went out. The pictures were delivering SMS instead of Imessage so I asked if they went through. She didn’t text back for two days and said they did and again repeated her story about the guy grabbing her butt which I thought was weird because she already text me that story the previous week. Later that week we went to a concert together (we’ve had plans to go to this concert together for almost two months). She met me at my house and we Ubered to the concert. On the way, she asked me to hold her hand. Then at the concert she did the same hand holding stuff while we walked anywhere. She also wrapped her arms around me at some points, rested her head on my shoulder, and put my arms around her waist. I thought we would spend more time together after the concert bc she took the next day off of work but she said she was tired and was going home. 

She suggested we Uber to my house together and then she’d just add a stop to drop her off after. When we got to my house I went for the hug to say goodbye and she went for the kiss. I botched it. I told her I didn’t expect that and went in for the kiss but it was a little awkward now especially w the Uber waiting. I asked her to text me when she got home safe and she did and thanking me for a great night. 

The next day (Friday) she text me to ask me to send pictures of the merchandise for a concert I was going to because she liked the band and might want something. I agreed and said something like "Of course! This gives me an excuse to see you next week." No reply. I texted her the picture but didn't get a reply back, so I text her again and said "Hey it's the last song if you want any merch." She replied "Oh that's okay then. Thank you though!" I said "Okay I'll think of another reason to get together next week." No reply.

Sunday night I text to ask her to go to a musical theatre performance on Thursday but have not heard back. This isn’t the first time she’s taken 1+ days to respond but I think it's the longest time without a response. I just can’t tell if she’s interested or kind of just teasing/playing around? And would it be bad to send a follow-up text?

[glows]

It was Alcapalia I believe who suggested asking her out again and I also mentioned in your last thread (with many comments) to follow up with a text. It’s customary to continue your original thread without reposting the whole issue again. It’s confusing and has no context without the other comments from your last thread. 

You had missed a lot of cues this woman was interested and now are overthinking one small follow up text after she hasn’t responded. She seemed enthusiastic to see you the following week(this week) which is why I suggested it. If she made no comment or wasn’t enthusiastic I wouldn’t have suggested this.

 

Edited October 18, 2023 by glows

[Alpacalia]

Agree with glows.

You're missing all her cues. She's been spectacularly obvious about her attraction to you. It's clear she's very interested. She's held your hand, invited you to concerts, left other guys in her life to spend time with you... It's clear she likes you and wants you to ask her out. I now understand her frustration—if I put myself out there to express interest to someone and he still doesn't get it, I'd be stymied as to what I could possibly do to make my intentions clearer. 

You've screwed it up a couple of times by backing away.  Don't beat around the bush next time, either, go full-on with a clear and obvious question that shows you want to take her on a romantic date.

Stop being so reliant upon her texting you back per your timeframe. This reeks of "hey, I want her to like me a lot, but I don't want her to realize I'm too needy." When you get needy, step away. When you want to text her on a Sunday night, SMACK yourself in the face hand hard, and remember there is more to life than girls and texting them so they'll send you long text message.

😊

Edited October 18, 2023 by Alpacalia

[Gaeta]

Hmm..l'm changing my mind about this. In your last thread l felt you were too wishy washy but now that you've sent an invitation Sunday and we are Wednesday and still no acknowledgement of your invitation...l say that girl is a tease. After 3 days it is now rude on her part. The musical is tomorrow night!!! This is really rude!!

During the concert, and other hang outs, was she drunk/tipsy? That could explain her behavior when she was with you.

No, don't text her.

Edited October 18, 2023 by Gaeta