How to bring my ex back

[Sthuthi]

My ex and i broke up 2days ago.we stayed 2years it was a long distance relationship i never met him.he is 32 im 34.like this we had many brake ups but he dated few girls between that periods this time his family has interduced a girl to him. Now he is talking to her . He left me . I m a married lay but my marriage wasnt a good one im taking divorce because of this guy . But now he left me .will he come back .this is our 7th brake up. 
 

[Wiseman2]

54 minutes ago, Sthuthi said:

 long distance relationship i never met him.. I m a married lay but my marriage wasnt a good one im taking divorce 

Sorry this is happening. Are you in an arranged marriage? Is he scheduled for an arranged marriage? Are his parents introducing  him to local women for this reason?

He's not your BF or your "ex" you never met. He's someone you chatted with for years because of your unhappy marriage. 

Try to focus on the real issues of why you got caught up in this cyber situation and whatever is going on in your real life that you could improve. 

[basil67]

It’s your 7th breakup and you’re married to someone else?  He’d be crazy to come back…but given his history, I suspect he will come back and leave you multiple times again

[d0nnivain]

He was never really your BF.  You never met him. It's not real until you meet. 

You are married.  Clean up your own house.  Get divorced.  Then date anybody you like. 

If you have broken up 7 times let this one take.  Obviously this "relationship" is toxic.  

Get some therapy to figure out why you do this to yourself -- make bad relationship decisions & can't see the writing on the wall.  

 

[stillafool]

2 hours ago, Sthuthi said:

But now he left me .will he come back .this is our 7th brake up

Now that he's gone you can spend this time getting a divorce so when and if he comes back, you'll be free to be with him.  Otherwise, he's going with this other girl.

[ShyViolet]

14 hours ago, Sthuthi said:

we stayed 2years it was a long distance relationship i never met him.

Do you hear yourself?  You never met him.  He was never your "boyfriend", he was a pen pal.  Stop wasting your time with this.

[glows]

How are you coping with the divorce? This guy helped you see your marriage wasn’t a good one but the problem all along was your marriage… not this man. 

I don’t know your background but divorce can carry devastating stigma in some circles and you have to overcome that. Don’t go looking for no good situations and get sucked into crappy relationships just to feel like a valid human being. You don’t need a man or a partner to be a whole human. Take time to build your courage and your confidence again. Let this guy go. He wants to be with another woman, so what. Go then. He doesn’t want to be with you - why are you hanging on? You start making a new life for yourself and practice respect for yourself. Make better choices for yourself. Improve your life, make choices in your best interest. Choose good people to be around too to match similar values. Enjoy your life.

 

Edited October 20, 2023 by glows

[mark clemson]

If you choose to divorce, don't do it because of this guy. It sounds like he disappears and re-appears on a whim, and he will probably continue to do the same if you were to become "more official".

If you are severely unhappy in your marriage that is one thing. However building your (putative) next relationship on this shifting sand is probably just another mistake. IF you choose to divorce, contemplate being single for a bit. (It may be inevitable anyhow.)