LauraKf1997 Posted October 19, 2023 Share Posted October 19, 2023 My boyfriend is constantly texting with other women on social networks! He knows I don't like it. He makes excuses that this is only communication, which means nothing to him. But this is wrong??!!!Besides, I know that this is a constant flirtation and it pisses me off terribly!!! I don't want to control it, I don't want to ban it.. I want to keep the trust in the relationship. But I also don't want to tolerate what is unpleasant to me!! What should I do? What would you do in such a situation? Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted October 19, 2023 Share Posted October 19, 2023 15 minutes ago, LauraKf1997 said: What would you do in such a situation? I’d break up with him. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 19, 2023 Share Posted October 19, 2023 Yep - he knows you don’t like it. He knows it’s inappropriate but he chooses to do it anyway. Breaking up is your only choice 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 19, 2023 Share Posted October 19, 2023 42 minutes ago, LauraKf1997 said: ,I know that this is a constant flirtation and it pisses me off terribly. I don't want to control it, How long have you been dating? Do you live together? How often do you see each other? How old is he? Unfortunately he enjoys chatting and flirting with other women. You've discussed it already but he writes it off because it's fun for him and he doesn't really care how you feel about it. Because you are still with him and therefore tacitly put up with it. Perhaps he's immature or insecure or selfish, but he doesn't seem as invested in the relationship as you are. All you can do is reflect on the overall quality of the relationship and cut your losses if it's just headaches and heartaches you don't need. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 19, 2023 Share Posted October 19, 2023 Having a conversation with a member of the opposite sex while in a relationship is acceptable. 1/2 the planet is the opposite sex. Flirting with others after your SO has asked you not to then gaslighting your SO by claiming they are the problem is break up worthy. He's not going to change so the Q becomes why are you still with a guy who doesn't respect you? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 19, 2023 Share Posted October 19, 2023 2 hours ago, LauraKf1997 said: My boyfriend is constantly texting with other women on social networks! He knows I don't like it. He makes excuses that this is only communication, which means nothing to him. But this is wrong??!!!Besides, I know that this is a constant flirtation and it pisses me off terribly!!! I don't want to control it, I don't want to ban it.. I want to keep the trust in the relationship. But I also don't want to tolerate what is unpleasant to me!! What should I do? What would you do in such a situation? I would tell him that I don't like it and it hurts my feelings. I would expect him to apologize and stop. If he continued I wouldn't say anything at all. I would no longer be available for him because he would no longer be my boyfriend. What are you going to do? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 19, 2023 Share Posted October 19, 2023 (edited) 3 hours ago, LauraKf1997 said: I know that this is a constant flirtation and it pisses me off terribly!!! I don't want to control it, I don't want to ban it. He is not boyfriend material. When he acts that way you don't control it, you control yourself by walking out of that relationship. You are wasting your time & love on the wrong man. Men that respect their girlfriend exist, go find one. You are not controlling, expecting a boyfriend to respect you and your relationship is not controlling. He doesn't stop? breakup. Edited October 19, 2023 by Gaeta 4 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted October 19, 2023 Share Posted October 19, 2023 4 hours ago, LauraKf1997 said: What should I do? What would you do in such a situation? I would breakup with him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alvi Posted October 20, 2023 Share Posted October 20, 2023 How old is he? Is he still in a highschool or university or is he over 40 or 50? 17 hours ago, LauraKf1997 said: I want to keep the trust in the relationship. There is no trust in your relationship, unfortunately. Look at the bright side. The two of you are not married nor do you have kids together. So, there is absolutely no need to date someone who doesn't respect you and is cheating on you (or one step away from cheating on you). He knows what he is doing is wrong and that he is not showing you any but for whatever reason he doesn't want to stop. 17 hours ago, LauraKf1997 said: He makes excuses that this is only communication, which means nothing to him. f it means nothing to him then he can stop doing what he is doing. But he is not stopping, is he? There is nothing that you can do except putting yourself first by ending this relationship. Get some counselling to find out why you put up with such a shabby treatment from this guy so you don't fall for this pattern again in a future. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted October 20, 2023 Share Posted October 20, 2023 (edited) Usually behaviour like this points to the relationship lacking in some way. You’re not seeing eye to eye and maybe things aren’t as sweet as they seem in other areas. Do you both have arguments or any other issues? To me, this appears as a form of escapism. It’s avoiding major issues and also sabotaging the relationship. Maybe he has a real issue with you or resents being with you/living with you etc I also wonder it’s too painful for you too to face what’s wrong with the relationship. Focusing on his flirting and chatting up other women is so infuriating and distracting enough to detract from the serious or major issues you both have underneath his flirtatious preoccupation. Ideally people in committed non monogamous relationships don’t seek thrills like this flirting with other people. I just don’t see a happy couple both ways. Edited October 20, 2023 by glows Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted October 20, 2023 Share Posted October 20, 2023 22 hours ago, LauraKf1997 said: He makes excuses that this is only communication, which means nothing to him. Then why does he do it? It definitely means something to him, it inflates his ego x 2 because he gets the attention of other women and it also makes you feel insecure. He's rude, insensitive, disrespectful, and immature. People treat us how we let them treat us, so maybe have a think about why you put up with this childish and attention-seeking behaviour, (he knows how much it annoys you, yet he keeps doing it and gas-lighting you about it, why would he do it for any other reason than deliberately grinding your gears and getting your full attention?). When someone shows you who they really are, believe them. You can do much better, there's gentlemen out there. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted October 20, 2023 Share Posted October 20, 2023 (edited) On 10/19/2023 at 4:58 AM, LauraKf1997 said: He makes excuses that this is only communication, which means nothing to him. If it meant nothing to him he wouldn’t be doing it. On 10/19/2023 at 4:58 AM, LauraKf1997 said: I don't want to control it, I don't want to ban it.. I want to keep the trust in the relationship. The trust has already been lost because your chosen partner is not behaving in a respectful or trustworthy way. You can’t ban it. You shouldn’t have to tell your partner not to flirt/communicate with other women - if you do, you have a real problem. You are incompatible in terms of how you value this relationship and define an appropriate relationship boundary. That’s a problem. The decision here is whether or not you chose to accept this - and if you don’t, the decision that you have is to end the relationship. Edited October 20, 2023 by BaileyB 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts