Staceycarla93 Posted October 20, 2023 Share Posted October 20, 2023 (edited) Going through a break up which I can’t accept. I can’t eat or sleep and feel so depressed. Any one been through this? Edited October 20, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator clarify title Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted October 20, 2023 Share Posted October 20, 2023 So sorry for what you're going through, breakups are incredibly difficult to get over. It helps to talk about it and get it out. This forum is great for that because there is so much good advice from the members here. Did he break up with you or did you break up with him? When did it happen and why? Lets start there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Staceycarla93 Posted October 20, 2023 Author Share Posted October 20, 2023 (edited) 2 hours ago, stillafool said: So sorry for what you're going through, breakups are incredibly difficult to get over. It helps to talk about it and get it out. This forum is great for that because there is so much good advice from the members here. Did he break up with you or did you break up with him? When did it happen and why? Lets start there. He ended the relationship around a week ago due to the fact he felt we couldn’t meet a middle ground. He has two kids and a very difficult ex. It just seems like everything was against us and he felt so much pressure because he felt he couldn’t give me what I deserve. We both loved each other and I’ve never felt the way I felt about him but we struggled to make it work. He was also so loving and affectionate but he says he had to end it for his own mental health and none. I just feel so abandoned and can’t accept losing him and the kids. We also work together. Although it’s a remote job we still have to go into the office a few times a year and I just don’t know how I’ll cope. This is the first time I’ve ever felt this low and I can’t see any end to this pain at the moment Edited October 20, 2023 by Staceycarla93 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 20, 2023 Share Posted October 20, 2023 20 minutes ago, Staceycarla93 said: . He has two kids and a very difficult ex. It just seems like everything was against us and he felt so much pressure because he felt he couldn’t give me what I deserve. How long were you dating? How old is he? Is he still married or living with his ex? What exactly were the stressors and issues? How often did you spend time together in person? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 20, 2023 Share Posted October 20, 2023 26 minutes ago, Staceycarla93 said: He ended the relationship around a week ago due to the fact he felt we couldn’t meet a middle ground. He has two kids and a very difficult ex. It just seems like everything was against us and he felt so much pressure because he felt he couldn’t give me what I deserve. So he was feeling like he couldn't meet your needs. Were you 100% happy in the relationship or were there parts which left you unsatisfied Link to post Share on other sites
Author Staceycarla93 Posted October 20, 2023 Author Share Posted October 20, 2023 12 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: How long were you dating? How old is he? Is he still married or living with his ex? What exactly were the stressors and issues? How often did you spend time together in person? We were dating for a year and he is 36, I’m. 32. He is no longer married but he had to go back to living with his parents as his name is still stuck on the mortgage with his ex meaning a lot of the time the kids and him were at my house. We didn’t live together as I didn’t want to rush this with there being kids involved. He didn’t have much money saved and his ex was constantly asking him to take the kids on more or swap days so there was no routine. He wouldn’t get any legal advice when it came to his old house and it just felt like I was doing everything I could to help him but he wasn’t helping himself. It’s so hard because the love we had was like nothing I have had before but it just feels like he’s cut me off over night because he wants to fix all his problems his way and won’t accept help. I’m struggling to accept losing him and the break up is making me ill Link to post Share on other sites
Author Staceycarla93 Posted October 20, 2023 Author Share Posted October 20, 2023 15 minutes ago, basil67 said: So he was feeling like he couldn't meet your needs. Were you 100% happy in the relationship or were there parts which left you unsatisfied I was so happy with him and the love we had was real but he had financial issues and his ex was just being very selfish. He walked out of the house with nothing and I think he feels he’s not able to rebuild his life and he was dragging me down with him Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 20, 2023 Share Posted October 20, 2023 46 minutes ago, Staceycarla93 said: He wouldn’t get any legal advice when it came to his old house and it just felt like I was doing everything I could to help him but he wasn’t helping himself. It’s so hard because the love we had was like nothing I have had before but it just feels like he’s cut me off over night because he wants to fix all his problems his way and won’t accept help. I understand how frustrating it is when you can see solutions which the other isn't considering. Could it be that you were overstepping and he was starting to feel pushed and overwhelmed? If so, it was unfortunate that he chose to end the relationship rather than just telling you to back off 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 20, 2023 Share Posted October 20, 2023 (edited) 1 hour ago, Staceycarla93 said: he had financial issues and his ex was just being very selfish. He walked out of the house with nothing Sorry this happened. Unfortunately he's on the rebound and blames his ex for all his problems. 2 major red flags. He also can't get his life in order and lives with his parents. His stories don't add up, do you actually believe the divorce gave his wife 100% of everything? All he did was camp out at your house, looking for a place to park himself rather than his parents house. It seems like you dodged a bullet. He seems parasitic and irresponsible. Maybe he was nice to you because you were a free BnB with benefits for him, but be glad he's gone. Edited October 20, 2023 by Wiseman2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
glows Posted October 21, 2023 Share Posted October 21, 2023 (edited) Hey OP, how long ago did he move out from the marital home with his ex? It seems more plausible that he’s still legally married and they’re working out custody and time with the kids. Did he show you his divorce papers? Either way it’s difficult getting through a break up and even more so with a colleague you have to keep seeing or hearing about at work although you work remotely. Instead of focusing on loss, think about the time you had together, appreciate that and let go. He’s not in the right headspace to date. Why would you involve yourself with a man still working out issues with his ex to this degree? Are you also recently out of a long term relationship or divorce? Edited October 21, 2023 by glows 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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