Yellowrose91 Posted October 21, 2023 Posted October 21, 2023 Hi all. I’ve recently started dating a guy and we have agreed to be exclusive. I am quite concerned about the women I see on his social media. Firstly, he is following tons of women on Instagram. As I scroll through, most are women with a few men dotted in. Some are local women, some are models. Secondly, I can see other women who I don’t know like his posts. I saw a woman liked a recent post of his on Facebook . When I clicked on her profile, I saw a picture of herself she posted a few days ago. She had a very low cut tip and was leaning forwards to show her breasts. My boyfriend had reacted with a love heart to the image. He’s currently on a trip with a friend in a different city. Recently, he followed a young , attractive female on Instagram who is in the same city. This is all leading to anxiety. I want to be trusting but I can help but think, is he is speaking to these women behind my back? Should I mention it ? Or try to ignore it?
stillafool Posted October 21, 2023 Posted October 21, 2023 Sorry, this is happening to you. Yes, definitely confront him with what you've found. It sounds like he's looking to hook up with a girl somewhere or is interested.
Gaeta Posted October 21, 2023 Posted October 21, 2023 (edited) It doesn't matter if he speaks to them or not, his behavior is highly innapropriate for a man in a relationship AND disrespectful of you. If l were you there would be nothing to talk about and l would break up. He would not be the kind of man l want for boyfriend AND l would not want to date an adult man that does not already know that drooling over half naked woman publically is disrespectful. Don't date these kind of men. Edited October 21, 2023 by Gaeta 1
ExpatInItaly Posted October 21, 2023 Posted October 21, 2023 3 hours ago, Yellowrose91 said: I want to be trusting but I can help but think, is he is speaking to these women behind my back? Didn't your very recent ex essentially do the same thing? It was only about a month ago that you two broke up, if memory serves. I would suggest taking time to really heal from your last relationship. Being on the rebound isn't the greatest time to dive into something new because it often means you wind up choosing someone just to fill the void and not because they're a wondeful person.
Alvi Posted October 21, 2023 Posted October 21, 2023 He is not even trying to hide this from you. He is disrespecting you right in your face. Even if he doesn't hook up with with girl, there is going to be another one sooner or later. Point is, he is still looking what else is out there is is getting his feet wet in a murky waters of infidelity. He is more than likely going to say that it is not a big deal and that you are overreacting if you confront him. Since this is a new relationship, I would just end it. No explanation needed to be given to him. It is up to you how much crap you are willing to put up with.
Alpacalia Posted October 21, 2023 Posted October 21, 2023 What you see is what you get. He likes to follow other women on social media. That's his thing. That's who he is. If it bothers you, find someone else. Sounds like he likes to "window shop".
Wiseman2 Posted October 21, 2023 Posted October 21, 2023 (edited) 6 hours ago, Yellowrose91 said: I clicked on her profile. She had a very low cut tip and was leaning forwards to show her breasts. My boyfriend had reacted with a love heart to the image. He’s currently on a trip with a friend in a different city. Recently, he followed a young , attractive female on Instagram who is in the same city. How long have you been dating? How old is he? Why did you agree to be exclusive with someone who has behaviors that upset you and make you anxious? If you are spending a lot of time researching, browsing, scanning and analyzing his social media across several platforms, it doesn't seem like you are happy in the relationship. While he's away adding local hotties to his social media, reflect if you want the headaches and heartaches from someone you recently started dating. If you feel he's a little slimy, you could cut your losses and tell him it's not working. Edited October 21, 2023 by Wiseman2
MsJayne Posted October 21, 2023 Posted October 21, 2023 You can't trust this guy, or any guy who spends time trawling the internet looking for women to approve of and friending women he's probably never met and is never going to meet. There's smart men out there, no need to waste precious time dating sleazebags.
d0nnivain Posted October 21, 2023 Posted October 21, 2023 The world is made up of people. Your jealousy of ALL women is not healthy but it's your problem. He's a flirty guy who likes to look. He will not change, nor should he have to. He may not be the guy for you because you don't seem to be able to handle this. You have the misguided sense that exclusively dating somebody means you are the only member of the opposite sex they are allowed to interact with. You are going to make yourself crazy if you persist down this myopic road. 2
basil67 Posted October 21, 2023 Posted October 21, 2023 It's one thing for him to have friends in real life who he follows. Or even people he's met online who share his interests. But following all the thirst traps is just icky. You've only known him for a few weeks, so I'm curious why you haven't just got rid of him.
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