basil67 Posted October 27, 2023 Share Posted October 27, 2023 (edited) Have you spoken with the bank about how much they will lend you? Will this amount buy you the kind of place you want? Edited November 5, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed quote 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironpony Posted October 27, 2023 Author Share Posted October 27, 2023 Just now, basil67 said: Again I ask, have you spoken with the bank about how much they will lend you? Will this amount buy you the kind of place you want? Yes I did. They are willing to lend me a certain amount but I wish I could afford a house in a better area for sure, since the areas I can afford are more on the rough side. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 27, 2023 Share Posted October 27, 2023 You're talking about 2 different things. One is are you ready to marry. Well no if you're worried about divorce. The other is the real estate market. What you can do in the meantime is start researching information in your jurisdiction. For example, say you live in Saskatchewan , you could Google common law marriage in Saskatchewan or prenuptial agreements in Saskatchewan or cost of divorce attorneys in Saskatchewan. Buying a house together is foolish if you don't live and rent together first. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 27, 2023 Share Posted October 27, 2023 (edited) Why do you want to buy a house? Why not a condo, it's less expensive and you could buy it in a nice neighborhood. [ ] You need to take your time and inform yourself on what would be the best option for you. Edited November 5, 2023 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed off topic 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted October 27, 2023 Share Posted October 27, 2023 (edited) Okay, I changed my mind - you are nowhere near ready to buy a house OR marry, IMO. Please, for the love of god move out of your parents' place as soon as you can and start renting, with or without your gf. I know you've been talking about moving out since 5 years ago, what happened to that? You need to learn to live independently and everything that comes with it (learning how to choose a place to live in, setting your own budget, seeking your own legal advice, etc) before you buy a house and before you marry. Your living situation has a much larger impact on maturity than your age. I'm not a lawyer and you should obviously talk to one, but AFAIK in Canada common law marriage exists, so if you and your gf lived in a house that you paid for, for more than a certain amount of time, you are essentially "married" for all legal purposes, regardless of whether or not you actually got married. It makes way more sense to buy together, if you are a couple. Also, have you REALLY crunched the numbers for this house you are planning to buy? Because buying is more expensive than renting typically, due to all of the additional costs involved... and IIRC less than a year ago you were saying that you couldn't move out of your parents' place because you couldn't afford to rent a place by yourself... Edited October 27, 2023 by Els 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted October 27, 2023 Share Posted October 27, 2023 (edited) 21 hours ago, ironpony said: I can do that. I talked to a realtor about it, but I can talk to a lawyer about it as well. Thanks. Also, I just want to point out that if we're talking about risk, this is the riskiest thing you've talked about in the entire thread. It's basically the equivalent of saying "I think I'm going to get a new credit card because I talked to the credit card salesman about it".... I'm saying this with kindness, OP: any moneyminded realtor is going to smell your inexperience and naivete from a mile away, and they are going to absolutely eat you for breakfast. I don't think you understand what a huge gamble it is to go directly from living with your parents and only having paid your own bills for a year, to buying a house right away. You could get lucky and get an altruistic realtor and a decent purchase, sure... but there's also a very high chance that you could end up buying a dud that deprecates in value, costs you a ton of money to maintain to a barely liveable standard, and gets broken into once a month (if the neighbourhood is that rough). You have the life experience of an 18 yo, and you are going to be making some mistakes like an 18 yo would when they are moving out for the first time. That's okay, and we all have to make mistakes to learn. But you need to do your learning elsewhere first. The stakes here are incredibly high and you could end up paying for this mistake for the next 30 years. Edited October 27, 2023 by Els 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 29, 2023 Share Posted October 29, 2023 The hunt for a house can take a while. My husband & I looked for over a year & lost out on about 7 places. You should practice before you move out. Getting an apartment & dealing with the unexpected expenses is a good idea before you buy a house, especially an "affordable" fixer upper. The upkeep on a run down place is higher than on a well constructed property. You may need a new roof; a new hot water heater; new appliances etc. You need start up stuff: furniture, dishes, cleaning supplies etc. That stuff costs money. You can get some things at 2nd hand stores for real savings but it's a shock so on top of the downpayment you need some cash on hand to deal with surprises. Some of this depends on how handy you are & what you can do yourself. Occasionally various realtors, banks & government agencies have first time home buyer seminars. I suggest you take some from different providers. There are several on the internet so you can start there. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted October 29, 2023 Share Posted October 29, 2023 12 hours ago, ironpony said: That's a good point. It's just that housing has gone up so much in price, that if I do not get one now I may never be able to in the future, because the price keeps climbing though, so I worry about that. I understand the concern - however, buying a house unprepared will likely set you back far more. What are you going to do when you've spent most of your savings on the downpayment for an old house, then discover that the wall between your bathroom and bedroom is rotten and leaking, for instance? (True story, happened to us, but fortunately we were renting so the landlord had to foot the bill... and it would have been in the 5 digits at LEAST, because the entire bathroom had to be remodelled.) You don't have to put it off for that long. You just need to move out from your parents' house and rent for a couple of years, ideally a few different properties. If you're set on getting a house in a rough neighbourhood, for instance, then you should definitely try renting one in that neighbourhood first to see if you can really stomach it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironpony Posted October 30, 2023 Author Share Posted October 30, 2023 Oh okay, but I told my gf I would move in with her next year so would it look bad if I back up on a promise I made though? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 30, 2023 Share Posted October 30, 2023 34 minutes ago, ironpony said: Oh okay, but I told my gf I would move in with her next year so would it look bad if I back up on a promise I made though? Why would you back out of moving in with her? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironpony Posted October 30, 2023 Author Share Posted October 30, 2023 Oh perhaps I miss understood. I thought it was suggested to me to move out on my own first beforehand, but I guess the suggestion is to move in with her? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 30, 2023 Share Posted October 30, 2023 (edited) 45 minutes ago, ironpony said: Oh okay, but ......... That's fine. Live together and start paying for rent and expenses rather than just staying there because it's convenient. You're not ready to marry or buy a house. So please stop fretting about that. Don't put the cart before the horse. You're looking at houses you can't even afford and divorce laws, which means you're not ready. The solution is to live together and being more responsible for your staying there so much. Start by responsible living together. You know....sharing expenses, rent, utilities, bills food,etc. Figure out a budget. Learn to manage your money and household finances and chores errands and other responsibilities. Edited October 30, 2023 by Wiseman2 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironpony Posted October 30, 2023 Author Share Posted October 30, 2023 I can do that but my worry is that if i am paying more rent, and not saving as much money that it will make my ability to get a mortage more difficult, if I have to spend more money in the meantime, if that is a valid concern? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 30, 2023 Share Posted October 30, 2023 55 minutes ago, ironpony said: I can do that but my worry is that if i am paying more rent, and not saving as much money that it will make my ability to get a mortage more difficult Then get a joint mortgage with her when you're both ready. This is how couples afford property Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 30, 2023 Share Posted October 30, 2023 (edited) 59 minutes ago, ironpony said: I can do that but.... It's not fair to camp out at her place for free. You need to start paying rent there. You can't just go from living with parents for free to living with her for free. Please don't be selfish. Edited October 30, 2023 by Wiseman2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ironpony Posted October 30, 2023 Author Share Posted October 30, 2023 Oh okay thanks for the input, but who says I was camping out there for free? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 30, 2023 Share Posted October 30, 2023 (edited) 6 minutes ago, ironpony said: Oh okay thanks for the input, but who says I was camping out there for free? How many nights per week do you stay there? How are you contributing to her costs? Edited October 30, 2023 by basil67 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 30, 2023 Share Posted October 30, 2023 10 hours ago, ironpony said: but my worry is that if i am paying more rent, and not saving as much money that it will make my ability to get a mortage more difficult Yep! It's not suppose to be easy. People rent and live modestly to save money, takes longer but they do it. It's part of acheiving one's goal. When l decided to buy my own place l was renting. I drove an old rusty car for a few years, l rarely bought anything new, all my extra money went to my saving and once l had the down payment l made the purchase. I also purchased within my means, living me room to live and not be overwhelmed with high mortgage payments. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 30, 2023 Share Posted October 30, 2023 I still want ti know why you want to buy a house and not a condo, or townhouse? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 30, 2023 Share Posted October 30, 2023 (edited) 12 hours ago, ironpony said: Oh okay, but I told my gf I would move in with her next year so would it look bad if I back up on a promise I made though? Yes. What's the problem with moving in with her? That is what we are telling you to do: have a trial run of not living with mom & dad. It will get you used to having to be financially self sufficient. Having that experience before you buy a house is a good idea. It will also help you to determine if you & your GF are compatible enough to be married. It is a bit of a catch 22 but moving in with her you will only being paying 1/2 the rent & expenses. It will be good practice for you. You can then take the other half & save that. You may also want to think about picking up a side hustle & banking all of that money Yes, I understand you will be tired & have less time with your GF but you have to clarify your goals here. Edited October 30, 2023 by d0nnivain 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted October 30, 2023 Share Posted October 30, 2023 22 hours ago, ironpony said: Oh okay, but I told my gf I would move in with her next year so would it look bad if I back up on a promise I made though? You can still rent together with her if you want to.... Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted October 30, 2023 Share Posted October 30, 2023 21 hours ago, ironpony said: I can do that but my worry is that if i am paying more rent, and not saving as much money that it will make my ability to get a mortage more difficult, if I have to spend more money in the meantime, if that is a valid concern? It's a valid concern but still a smaller concern than jumping straight from living with your parents to buying a house. The vast majority of adult couples pay their own rent, so you're not really going to be disadvantaged by doing that. Budgeting can be an issue, but that's the whole point of moving out to begin with - to learn how to do things yourself. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 30, 2023 Share Posted October 30, 2023 18 hours ago, ironpony said: Oh okay thanks for the input, but ..... Are you paying half of the rent, utilities, groceries and bills? If not perhaps you shouldn't stay there as much or start paying more to stay there. This is probably why she's bringing up "living together" because you're there a lot but as a guest. She's not talking about buying a house or getting married right away. Link to post Share on other sites
Lisa Posted November 5, 2023 Senior Moderators Share Posted November 5, 2023 Thread closed as we are unable to give advice on divorce laws or the property market. Link to post Share on other sites
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