saint to extreme sinner

[archieballs80]

i was a happily married man of 15 months with the what i thought was the perfect wife........ There was always questions raiswd as suspicous about her past until i found out she was 

extremly loose in her morals from the age of 13 till 25 she blamed alcohol and bad upbrining for her jumping from many many many many men and was literaly sex toy for all the men 

she encountered and to the point of blantant cheating of partners with his friends and to top it off a week later after digesting that i found out she was a prostitute as well up until she 

started seeing me ........ She always claimed to be a perfect girl with only 4 former partners and a happy life but wow her lies were extreme to rhe point she believes them ..... she is going 

to do a lie detection test to give me clarity on everything her decision buy feel betrtayed ans what to do ......

[Wiseman2]

57 minutes ago, archieballs80 said:

i was a happily married man of 15 months  i found out she was a prostitute as well up until she started seeing me .

How old is she now? How did you find out she was a prostitute?  How long were you dating before you married and how well did you know her?

If you already know about her past, what is a lie detector test going to accomplish? 

If you can't deal with her past or feel you were deceived and married under false pretenses, please consult an attorney for advice, support and information regarding your situation and annulment or divorce.

[stillafool]

Why don't you just break up with her instead of making her undergo a lie detector test?  You already think lowly of her so why do you need more proof before letting her go?

[basil67]

2 hours ago, archieballs80 said:

she blamed alcohol and bad upbrining

Well yes.  People say that children are resilient, but in truth a severely traumatic upbringing can break a child who then becomes a broken adult.   And alcohol use would likely be self medication for all the troubles she had.   Has she ever received care for her mental health?  She may also have issues which are undiagnosed. 

Not that you have to stay with her if you've lost all respect.  I agree with @stillafool that you don't need a lie detector test.  If you feel as bad as you say, just end it without putting her through extra trauma.

Edited October 23, 2023 by basil67

[Alpacalia]

I think you should forgo the lie detection test and leave her be. She is not the person for you and you are not the person for her. Her past and her actions do not align with what you are looking for in a partner.

What do you gain from a lie detection test except possibly confirmation? If it proves she was lying, are you going to find any solace in the fact that you were right? If it proves she was telling the truth, are you going to be able to move on and forget everything that you have learned about her?

Constantly questioning her and trying to find closure through a lie detection test won't change the thoughts and feelings that you have about her now. Do yourself both a favor and let go of this idea that a lie detection test will solve your problems.

Edited October 23, 2023 by Alpacalia

[d0nnivain]

Stop with the lie detector test.  You now know some ugly truths about your wife.  Nothing you two do now, in the present or future can change her past.  

You have two choices.  You can divorce her for lying to you about who she was or you can try to find it in your heart to see who she IS as your wife.  If she has been a good & faithful wife to you for these 15 months of marriage and she was a good GF before that, consider that she changed.  Have enough faith in the strength of your relationship to accept that wile she made mistakes in her past,  she is a different person now as an adult.   Frankly IMO it's ridiculous to hold a grown woman accountable a decade plus later for what happened when she was a teen with poor judgment.