Setup a date in a couple weeks. Should I send anything more than confirmation before hand?

[max3732]

Not sure what is going on, but one date I had setup cancelled due to to a bad infection and even sent me pictures of the papers from the hospital with her info, the date and what happened. She said when she's better she'd like to try for it again (this is one I had mentioned in a previous post).

I matched with another woman on a dating site and we exchanged messages for a couple days before I asked her out and she left me a voice message on the app saying she was sick (basic cold) and had plans this weekend, but could do it the following weekend so I said we should do that and she agreed.

Aside from maybe sending a message to the first one asking how she's feeling should I just wait until a day or so before the date to communicate or should I be texting anything before hand? I kind of feel like I already have a date set so don't want to rock the boat before meeting.

Also, with the one I have the date set for the following weekend she's part of club with mostly 65+ women (even though she's under 40) that my mom actually belongs to, but isn't active anymore. My date put that in the main part of her profile and is something she's passionate about. Should I mention my mom is a member there too to kind of establish my family is involved with the community? Or is that weird?

[Sony12]

When you are communicating with people you have never met before it's not really necessary to give too much of a notice. Just enough time to where they won't already be on their way. Definitely no more than a day.

If you want/need to cancel a day is more than enough time.

 

Edited October 25, 2023 by Sony12

[Gaeta]

1 hour ago, max3732 said:

She said when she's better she'd like to try for it again

So, she was hit with a bad infection 2 weeks ago and you have never asked her how she's doing?

 

1 hour ago, max3732 said:

Should I mention my mom is a member there too to kind of establish my family is involved with the community?

Why not say that when you meet face to face, that would be a good conversation starter.

 

1 hour ago, max3732 said:

I kind of feel like I already have a date set so don't want to rock the boat before meeting.

Being interested and kind is not 'rocking the boat' !

If I did not hear a peep out of a man for 2 weeks before a date, we would not have a date!

[Wiseman2]

4 hours ago, max3732 said:

 I had setup cancelled due to to a bad infection and even sent me pictures of the papers from the hospital with her info.. she's part of club with mostly 65+ women (even though she's under 40) that my mom actually belongs to, but isn't active anymore. My date put that in the main part of her profile and is something she's passionate about..

It extremely strange that someone would send medical records to a complete stranger from a dating app. This seems like a major red flag as far as lack of boundaries. Step back unless she contacts you. Just completely weird.

As far as the one who's in the same club as your mother, please keep the texting lighter and set up a meeting and discuss it then.

Please try to scale back on trying to have relationships through texting and after a couple of exchanges please arrange a mutually convenient time and place to meet in person. Keep it light and brief. 

 

 

[max3732]

3 hours ago, Gaeta said:

So, she was hit with a bad infection 2 weeks ago and you have never asked her how she's doing?

 

Why not say that when you meet face to face, that would be a good conversation starter.

 

Being interested and kind is not 'rocking the boat' !

If I did not hear a peep out of a man for 2 weeks before a date, we would not have a date!

She didn't tell me about the bad infection until a couple days before hand, which is understandable if she was in the hospital.

I was debating whether I should mention anything about it face to face. It does seem like a big part of her identity with the mention in her profile as well as a picture from it. I'll contact her just to ask how she's feeling and maybe again early next week before confirming. 

58 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

It extremely strange that someone would send medical records to a complete stranger from a dating app. This seems like a major red flag as far as lack of boundaries. Step back unless she contacts you. Just completely weird.

As far as the one who's in the same club as your mother, please keep the texting lighter and set up a meeting and discuss it then.

Please try to scale back on trying to have relationships through texting and after a couple of exchanges please arrange a mutually convenient time and place to meet in person. Keep it light and brief. 

 

 

That's what I thought too. She told me she was really sick and I was thinking "ok, that could happen" then she sent me the paper with information about her issue and I was shocked. I wouldn't send my medical records of any kind to anyone except maybe a friend who is a doctor and in that case only to ask his opinion of something in his expertise. 

I'd rather get to know someone in an actual date in person, but I've had women cancel on me before hand so often even after confirming I want to make sure we actually have a date!

[d0nnivain]

Do send at least one message between now & the date.  Some people get antsy if they don't hear from people on a daily basis.  You might want to find out where she stands on the daily communication thing.  

You do need to ask if she knows [your mom's name].  After asking the Q that way, using your mom's name, then you tell her that she's your mom.  Don't ask if she knows your mom, phrased that way.  It would more odd & a bit creepy to me to know I was out with an acquaintance's child but not to have been informed about the mutual connection beforehand.  

Since there is some time between the making of the date & the get together, do confirm the day before. 

Edited October 25, 2023 by d0nnivain